To feel a bit offended by this

[TwoTeaTessie]

Before I start I would like to make clear that I get on with my MIL and on the whole I have a good relationship with DH family.

But this has happened a couple of times now and is starting to upset me.

I spend a long time thinking about and choosing gifts before I give them, I like to get it right and spend money on things that I think people will use and like.

A couple of years ago MIL asked for a shawl/wrap for her to wear while she was on playground duty and so I made her one, from really nice (expensive) wool and she said she loved it and did use it ( I know she at the least used it) but yesterday while we were visiting she offered it back to me as she has retired and doesn't use it any more.

Now this isn't the first time that gifts given to her have made there way back to us (or tried to). Is it just me or isn't this just rude? If she doesn't like what we buy her or doesn't have a use for it anymore shouldn't she just give it away without telling us?

She knows you put a lot of effort into making it and it cost you £££ so she didn't want it to sit doing nothing in a wardrobe now she no longer requires it. She also probably doesn't know anyone else who would appreciate it so she thought the best thing would be to give it to you and maybe you can give it to someone else or find use for it yourself.

Imo it's nothing to be offended about. She obviously thinks its a beautiful item and doesn't want it to go to waste.

Would you rather she gave it to a charity shop, passed to a friend or sold it? some people are just practical and offering back may not be tactful but seems sensible. She had it for a purpose, that purpose no longer applies. If I had a gift for skiing and I stopped skiing it would be nicer to offer it back to the giver than any of the other options.

I don't think its rude. I only give presents I'd like to receive - so if you give it back to me, the recipient knows I'd want it! I gave my sister back the jewellery she gave me for an important birthday; my mum gave me for xmas a gorgeous bag I'd bought her once. It depends on your family set up. Xxx

To be fair I think if she was being rude then you'd see it on a friend of hers instead, Im sure she doesn't mean to offend. That's the trouble with putting a huge amount of effort into present buying, unfortunately the other person may not appreciate it as much as "you" would like them to.