AIBU to ask people to put the Christmas Round Robin letters they receive on

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this thread so we can all have a good laugh and decide which is the funniest, most tedious etc...

DH refused to forward our new address to one of his oldest friends because his wife sent out such pompous self-satisfied round robins that he realised he couldn't face ever seeing them again. It was all fairly standard middle-class smuggery really, and pretty harmless, but they made such a big thing of emphasising how careful they were to make sure their DDs occasionally mixed with children like...well, like ours, in fact. Sooo good for them, you see, to let them out of their privately-educated bubble from time to time.
Probably my fault for reading them out loud when he wanted to throw them out unread. I thought they were hilarious, and always looked forward to them.

We write one occasionally - not every year - but we only send it to people who we have reason to believe might be interested to hear how things are. We don't boast particularly (don't go on holidays etc) but are likely to say something like "DS is learning to enjoy reading" or some such and I would imagine that in the future there might be references to music exams passed or whatever, if such things happen - I'm genuinely interested to hear about such achievements of the children of friends I don't get to see often, and I keep the letters and look through them occasionally when I have the time - and I believe they will be interested to hear similar from us. I think if you are receiving such letters from people that you have no interest in, you should let them know that you are asking people not to send you christmas cards in an effort to save the planet, and would prefer not to be on their list any more.

I would be delighted to share it if I received one but sadly I never have. I don't really know anyone boastful enough.

Rufus - They are writing it together, I think. You are meant to view them as a whole couple, occasionally forced to separate into two people....OMG I have been sucked into the sneer.......

I'd be far more dubious about people who wrote that 'junior 1 has been expelled from his sixth school, but we are optimistic that Borstal will straighten him out, whilst junior 2 remains as thick as ever'. Surely it's part of being a parent to want to write the nice things about your children?

And sometimes people do want to write sad things down, so that extended family and friends know that... well, someone's died or is dying. Certainly my mother used the Christmas round robin to let people know when my sister was ill.

If a round robin's a bit irritating it doesn't take much effort to bin it.

For Chemenger: enjoy!

www.theguardian.com/theguardian/2011/jan/14/simon-hoggarts-week-christmas-letters

I got one a few years back where they mentioned that the family had 'spent New Year on the island that DW's Family own'.

I laughed.

(I should add, that we do not know that couple very well- they are the children of friends of DH's father..... met them once I think, but we get the rr every year!)

I've read those, mainly to reassure myself that i'm not in there. I'm not. Surely some of them are made up, in fact I'm tempted to write ours as a spoof of those for recipients I am sure will see the joke.

Now that I would like to see here - people's dull lives (like mine) livened up with a bit of creative writing. NO... must do christmas shopping....have day off specifically to go into town and do christmas shopping....stop replying to me or there will be no chemeng christmas.

Oh my gosh, my (American) Mum sends these, and she means really well by them but she just makes out like life is so hunky dory and fantastic (you should see her facebook too...)

The worst was when I was on my year abroad, and she sent out this round robin before I came home for Christmas. In it she said how "Callani's having such a fantastic time and loving every minute, I don't think she'll want to come back to the UK!" And actually I was having the worst time and was actually planning on coming back after Christmas 'cause it was so awful and all Christmas I had to respond to "I hear you're loving it over there!" with a "Well actually..."

Yes, I do think that a lot of smuggery ones are written in a desire to recreate a life people want rather than what they have. But by the same token too, it is easy to get wearied by the daily minutiae, so reflecting positively on the year is a way to remind yourself that it is not all bad.

I would not write one though to go to all comers- just family who live abroad I think. (And I do that via e-mail anyway!)

This has reminded me to ask my mum to bring over any they've received this year when she pops round later. We never get any but parents get some great ones. Always from people they haven't spoken to for 20+ years, and with dc who are clearly child geniuses (published books in their teens, all accepted at top universities, discovered cure for cancer as recent school science project, etc).

2 years ago they got one which was written from the point of view of the family pet cat. Imagine 4 A4 pages of 'it's been a good year for catching birds...'

I love them. The crazier the better.

Wish I got a RR I would love to send one of these replies I found www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-20810452

After my Dad died from cancer when I was a child, my mum got a RR card from one of her friends all about what a terrible year they'd had. My mum has never forgotten it. Terrible things.

We get two. One is a mixture of funny and smug (they genuinely do live in a beautiful house and have very academic and talented children) and the other is from the ILs.

The first I don't mind particularly - the funny bits are my friend. The smug bits I think are more the friend's OH.

However the one from the ILs makes me realise every year just how unimportant my DC are to them, and it does upset me. When there are 3 paragraphs about BIL and SIL's baby (who, while adorable, is a baby and does very little) and not even a mention of my DCs - it makes me cross. DH has taken to hiding it from me.

drankand chemanger

Thanks for that, just seems really odd!!

jeee I am so sending that round robin out!!!!!

would suggest that if you don't like getting people's news you do them the courtesy of telling them you don't want to get these letters in the future, rather than being snide about them behind their backs.

That's no fun though...

"People are funny. I suspect the ones who ridicule round robins the loudest are the same people who force everyone they have ever met to share in the dull minutiae of their lives via Facebook."

^This

I imagine the ridiculers post all manner of tripe on Facebook.

My parents get one every year from a childhood friend of my father's. It tends to feature details of exactly how much he weighed before and after his holiday, the precise number of dog shits on the pavement between his hotel and some tourist attraction in Geneva, how much it cost to get his dog an operation and how ironic it was that he then had to pay X amount to have said dog put to sleep a month later, exactly how much his pension had gone up, and how much his daughter 's new cooker and car cost. All written in the style of Pooter.

When we were all in our teens and living at home, it was a Christmas tradition to read the latest one out over the end of Christmas dinner.

We get one with a smattering of self satisfied Latin thrown in here and there. It basically is two sides (!) of a4 about how fantastic the sender is. I look forward to it. One year my dad threw it away without me reading it, I was incandescent with rage. It's brilliant.

We get three.

1. Is from a family we were freindly with when we lived abroad.
2. Is from the perfect Biblical family. The 'man of the house' makes the font about size 8 to get a whole years worth of news on double side A4.
3. Is from SiL. it goes straight into the bin without being read. This action is wholly supported by DH. His sister is a whiney, self important self obsessed fruit loop.

I have come to the conclusion that some people are just very insular and don't want news of anyone.
It has been established on masses of other threads that there is nothing you can post on FB that doesn't upset someone! You can't post anything from holiday or you are boastful, or sad that you are online, you can't post anything good about your children, you can't post anything bad as too depressing, you mustn't post photos of children and you can't post any photos that show you were out or having a good time!
I have come to the conclusion that in both cases you just have the wrong friends.
I get round robins and they have never had anything about a child's reading book level! ( unlike MN who seem obsessed with reading levels!)

It's all part of the same thing... People not being bothered enough to make personal interactions or messages, but happy to detail the minutiae of their lives on FB, blogs or round robins to everyone. It's lazy and self indulgent- writing something without any thought for your audience

Totally agree janey68.

RRs and FB are so impersonal. The smug minutiae will often be received by people who haven't had the good fortune to experience all (or any) of those things detailed in the RR. It's just inconsiderate to gloat and expect others to listen.

I'm far more touched to receive even just one handwritten line where the sender has kindly actually thought about me and written something individual.

If people really want to keep in touch, they have the whole of the rest of the year to write a proper letter or phone you with an update, and even ask how you are.

I suspect the ones who ridicule round robins the loudest are the same people who force everyone they have ever met to share in the dull minutiae of their lives via Facebook.

No, I don't use Facebook. A Round Robin that goes on all year! Nooooooooooo!

You appear to have the wrong 'so called' friends.