To want to see my dad twice at Christmas without my mum getting upset

[thefuturesnotourstosee]

My parents divorced when I was 5. They don't talk unless they have to.

At Christmas we're meeting my dad and his wife for lunch on 23rd then going to my mums until morning of 27th then dad has invited us to lunch at his house on 27th. After that off to MIL for a couple of days.

I told my mum we're leaving on morning of 27th and made the mistake of telling her why. She went completely cold on me and said "no need to see him twice is there, you don't normally see him twice at Christmas" then put the phone down on me. This evening I got back to a message saying that if I wanted to spend the whole of chrismtas with my dad that I should just do it and forget all about her as i clearly don't care or want to see her.

WTF? I don't want to spend the whole of Christmsa with dad just want to see him a couple of times for lunch!!

I can't get anything right :(

AIBU?

I'll be on my own!".

and you answer very firmly - Lets be very clear that it will be your choice to be on your own not anyone else's doing but your own.

Keep at it, each time she regresses to this manipulative poor me state - knock her back firmly an over time it will have to stop as it doesn't have the required effect on you she desires and then just like a child they realise there is no point

Yikes Precious. :(