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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU To tell this woman to naff off

12 replies

Sadoldbag · 12/12/2013 19:50

Right bit of back ground so I am not drip feeding

Ex partner has not seen ds for almost 10 years now (his choice) ds is 14
Leading up to the last time ex saw ds Myl exs sister wades in and firmly takes sides also choosing not to see ds
However my DS has contact with his grandad both ex and exs sisters dad different mums.

Grandad being older and wiser choose to keep out of the politics and blame and sees ds once a month it's not been easy but me and the granddad have muddled along

Now after almost 10 years I get a text from the sister asking if she can see ds I asked ds what he wants he says no.
So I told her*that ds is old enough to know his own mind and the best I can do is text every now and then let her know how he's doing and send a photo.

Which she agreed she's been texting on and of for about 3 months now

However today she text demanding she see him asking if he was going to the granddads at Christmas because SHE wants to see see him*

I pointed out that I understand she wants to see him however she can't text after years of not contact and start demanding contact and that sadly the conscience of the Decision she made all those years ago means that now ds is of age he doesn't want to see her *and she will have to wait until he asks to see her also that it's a bit cheeky to think that her dad's home will be used as a contact centre (considering they haven't spoken for 2 years she doesn't know I know)

Was I right ????

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 12/12/2013 19:53

Yes. It's up to your ds. She has no rights anyway and should be happy that you even bothered with her at all.

Bogeyface · 12/12/2013 19:56

She sounds like a charmer! Fucks her nephew off, and is now not speaking to her father? How long before there is some imagined slight from your DS and she fucks him off again?

Stick to your guns, this one is trouble. I rather suspect she is only pushing it because you said no in the first place and people like that dont like to hear the N word.

EQ2Junkie · 12/12/2013 19:56

YANBU

At 14 your DS is old enough to make the decision and she should respect that.

If she continues to demand tell her you will be blocking her number and ignoring her.

Sadoldbag · 12/12/2013 19:57

Oh and just to get it all off my chest it really Erik's me that ex had a baby some time last months and my ds found out from some random and not the sister who knew especially as she claims she wants a relationship with him.

Ds was out with his granddad and some out in town congratulated them both (not kneeing the back story ) ds or granddad had no idea and apparently sister was at the Birth ffs )Confused she was told to keep it a secret well that's what she said when she was challenged by the granddads on why he had not been given the Maggie's to pass on to ds another reason why ds is not impressed with her.

OP posts:
gimcrack · 12/12/2013 19:59

She made her bed - though she's probably regretting it. But YANBU.

WhenSarahAndStuckUpTheChimney · 12/12/2013 20:02

You know she's going to turn up at Granddad's don't you?

Even if she hasn't spoken to him recently either.

You and your son are not being unreasonable to tell her she has no chance of seeing him. But she sounds the type to just take matters into her own hands anyway.

What will Granddad do if she turns up while your DS is there?

Sadoldbag · 12/12/2013 20:03

Bogey face. This is one of our concerns

At 14 his hormones are all over the shop last thing he needs is Johnny come Lately's

And the fact that she's still keeping secrets for ex at the expense (which is why we'll fell out years ago) in my view tells me she has not changed

It's ds right to know he has a sibling and it's a cruel person who would keep that from him

OP posts:
WhenSarahAndStuckUpTheChimney · 12/12/2013 20:03

Erik and Maggie are both typo's or autocorrects aren't they? Not real names?

Sadoldbag · 12/12/2013 20:09

WhenSarahAndStuckUpTheChimney

No chance he's only staying over night she lives other side of London so she would have to be very lucky to turn up and catch him there

Also just rang the granddad and he's not having any of it " let the sort out there own shit this is not a contact centre I am not sharing my one weekend a month "

He is very hurt she kept the pregnancy and birth of his grandson and the hurt finding out this information 2nd hand has cause d ds

OP posts:
Sadoldbag · 12/12/2013 20:11

Sorry it's supposed to say Irks me (sp) sorry and message not Maggie

OP posts:
WhenSarahAndStuckUpTheChimney · 12/12/2013 20:16

That's good then OP, I don't blame any of you for not wanting to be manipulated.

HerrenaHarridan · 12/12/2013 22:31

Even if she was to turn up when he is there sound to me like your ds is perfectly capable of telling her he's not interested.

Don't waste any more head space on her Smile

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