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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have asked my DH to take the day off

14 replies

jeanmiguelfangio · 12/12/2013 18:40

I woke up this morning and have been throwing up all day, I have a horrible sickness bug that my daughter had. She is 9 months.
I feel really weak and can't even keep water down and it has been like this all day. Every time I lift something or sometimes just stand up I throw up.
My DH asked me if I wanted him to take the day off. I said yes please that will be helpful as taking care of a baby is tough without the vomiting. He then says actually ill go into work and sort it out then come home. I said ok, just an hour for her dinner and bath would be great, move his lunch hour. (DH is on a 3pm-1am shift)
Then, He says if you need me ring me and I'll come home, but I won't if you don't need me. So I threw up again pretty badly so rang him and said I need help. He never came home at all.

For reference my inlaws live 100 miles away and were at a funeral, my dad is in Bristol (I am in the south east) and my mum is in Belgium.

I am just a little cross he promises and says and then leaves me to it anyway. Perfectly happy to be told I ABU

OP posts:
woowoo22 · 12/12/2013 18:42

What did he say when you called him?

LindyHemming · 12/12/2013 18:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thebody · 12/12/2013 18:43

he shouldn't have left you in the first place ffs. what a knob.

let's hope he doesn't catch it and expect you to look after him.

hope you feel better soon op.

jeanmiguelfangio · 12/12/2013 19:24

He is now coming home for an hour to get DDto sleep as I have just been through what can be described as a shit storm and I lost it on the phone
I had a PND breakdown on sat night and this is all just adding to it, I just want to run away

OP posts:
livinginawinterwonderland · 12/12/2013 19:27

He is a shit for going anyway.
Tell him he needs to stay and look after you and DD. Work can wait.

Tmrgl · 12/12/2013 19:28

Really? He's only coming home for an hour. What an arse. You are not being even a little bit unreasonable.

woowoo22 · 12/12/2013 19:29

Poor you, sounds horrible. Can you have a cup of tea when he's putting her to bed? Then go to bed early yourself?
Are you getting any help with the PND? I had it too, bloody awful. Thanks for you.

woowoo22 · 12/12/2013 19:31

Ignore the tea suggestion, forgot you're not keeping water down, sorry!!

Bogeyface · 12/12/2013 19:51

Remember this when he goes down with it, as he will.

I suggest you pop out for an hour and leave your DD with him, so he can see just what it was like for you. And strip the bed and air the mattress against the wall so he cant just crawl into bed and disappear.

I would go fucking APESHIT. His plan was that he can show how caring he is by offering, but you were supposed to say no so that he could go to work with a clear conscience. Fail.

BrownSauceSandwich · 12/12/2013 20:03

Jesus Christ! I'd have his balls for breakfast.

Time for a serious chat, where you remind him about the responsibilities of being a parent/decent human being.

Dissolve a teaspoon of sugar and a pinch of salt in a litre of water, and SIP it, really slowly. Like a mouthful, see how it sits for 10 minutes, another mouthful...

jeanmiguelfangio · 12/12/2013 20:17

I have had it out with him. Dd is in bed now, and was when he got in so i got him to help me sort things out and calm me down a bit. He has history for being a jackass so this isn't the first time. He sometimes loses sight of what he is doing so I've got him back on track.
I am very fortunate that DD will sleep now till the morning so I can go to bed now and hope this wears off. I could deal with the pain if it wasn't for the bloody nausea!!
Yep I am getting help for my PND, I'm on the tablets but this last week has just got to me again, who says it gets easier as they get older! I'm getting myself out and about again with mums and babies and working through it. I kinda wanted it to be done with by now but I've got to learn to cut myself some slack and acknowledge what I've done in 9 months

OP posts:
jeanmiguelfangio · 12/12/2013 20:19

The body and bogey I fully intend to!! I've already told him don't expect help if you get it, and my mum has offered to take me out to dinner when he does!!!

OP posts:
Tapiocapearl · 12/12/2013 20:21

I think I would leave and stay at your dads for a bit. He is obviously of no support whatsoever ever. What ever you do you need to rest all weekend. Are you getting support for the PND?

jeanmiguelfangio · 12/12/2013 20:31

I'm going to my mums tomorrow for a break leaving him with the baby for the day, I can get fresh air and relax not worrying or anything.
Dad and I don't get on awfully well if we stay together!! But mum is great and my stepdad too so they will sort me out
Yep getting help, tablets and some hypnotherapy too for relaxation, not everyone's cup of tea but it can't hurt. Working through it with my family too and also allowing myself to feel a bit shit somedays, it's ok to. Allowing myself to feel is a big one. I just kinda expected to be done with it now so it's coming to terms with that too. My friend had it for 3 years with her first, I'm not even half way through lol

OP posts:
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