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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH's beeping colleague.

30 replies

HaveAstarterANDaPudding · 12/12/2013 17:16

DH does a car share thing with a colleague - one week he drives them the next week she drives them.
We live in a terraced street with tiny forecourts so the front door and windows are only about 3' back from the street. It's a really quiet street with very little traffic.
On the mornings when DH's colleague picks him up, at 6:30am, she pulls up and sounds her horn. Twice. And it's not a pip-pip horn it's a loud horn. And she has the car radio on so loud I can hear her driving down the street and when DH opens the car door to get in the radio blares loud enough for me to recognise songs.
DH waits in the front room with the curtains open and light on so she can clearly see that he has seen her arrive.
He will absolutely not say anything to her about this and thinks I am being overly sensitive (I can be a bit easily annoyed by noise ) but I think it's really rude to make that much noise - albeit only for a couple of minutes at most, at 6:30 in the morning! If I am still asleep it is loud enough to wake me.
DH doesn't want to wait outside cause she turns up any time between 6:20 and 6:35.

They are not close - she put a notice on their work car-share board, and financially it works out well.
Knowing that I do seethe at folk who talk loudly on trains and leave the office when my colleague eats an apple, I am prepared (would be happy!) to accept that Iabu, but I hate to think that our neighbours find this as inconsiderate and annoying as I do and are wishing DH would say something. (Only know the neighbours for polite hellos - doubt any of them would say anything).
So...give it to me straight. Wibu to wail and moan and plead with DH to ask her not to beep and turn down her radio?

OP posts:

BohemianGirl · 12/12/2013 17:17

I would tell her before one of your neighbours comes out with a meat cleaver and threatens her.

Original poster

HaveAstarterANDaPudding · 12/12/2013 17:23

Yeah one of the neighbours, or me!
Maybe nbu then.
I think DH will take some convincing.

OP posts:

DeckTheHallsWithBoughsOfHorry · 12/12/2013 17:24

From memory, it isn't legal to sound your horn whilst stationary, nor before 7am.

But yes, also horribly antisocial. Could DH pretend the neighbours had complained?

gimcrack · 12/12/2013 17:27

If I was your neighbour I would hate this. And it's illegal. I second your DH telling her the neighbours have complained.

mistlethrush · 12/12/2013 17:27

Very antisocial. I would go out and ask her to not use the horn and turn her radio down when she arrives as the neighbours have complained - and don't get your DH to do it. I know it will mean being dressed and ready to respond, but its better than lying seething in bed.

GrumpyRedhead · 12/12/2013 17:29

I'd be really angry if someone kept doing that!

^^I'd have been out with the meat cleaver long ago :)

Original poster

HaveAstarterANDaPudding · 12/12/2013 17:31

Thank you all.
And yes - I think it probably would be easier coming from me. I'll probably never see again so it won't be awkward for her if she's embarrassed/ annoyed at being told.
Right - I'll do it.
(next week)

OP posts:

CashmereMouse · 12/12/2013 17:33

I would just say that your neighbours have complained about it and can she please have radio quiet and not honk horn- that way there's no come back on you/DH, and she hasn't got anyone to moan about. After all, you are the ones who have to endure pissed off neighbours and she wouldn't want you to have that would she...

Simples. I would hate it too though OP - I also get irrationally angry about people making unecassary and selfish (because that is what it is) noise! Inconsiderate bloody woman!

thebody · 12/12/2013 17:34

while you are about it get a pair of balls for your dh. only joking op.

she sounds vile. tell her the neighbour is going btinternet her to the police as he has her reg and it's an offence and a noise pollution.

throwingstones · 12/12/2013 17:35

Sounding your horn while stationary is illegal, unless to warn a moving vehicle of danger. In fact, you can't use your horn on a residential street from 11.30pm till 7am in any circumstances.

So actually she's breaking 2 laws at once...

Tabby1963 · 12/12/2013 17:51

I would be furious if this happened in my street, it's just lazy. Your husband could just casually explain that neighbours have complained to him about the excessive noises so early and that he watches for her at the window so she no longer needs to beep her horn or have the blooming radio so loud either.

sykadelic15 · 12/12/2013 18:03

I agree with the advice about saying the neighbours complained and threatened to call the police because beeping is illegal and whatever else and that DH will do his part to ensure she's not waiting for him.

Vivacia · 12/12/2013 18:05

Yep, she's breaking the law. As you say, in those traditional streets there's no need to beep, you are aware of cars.

tallulah · 12/12/2013 22:25

The people opposite have a daily visitor who beeps when he arrives and then gives a cheery toot-toot when he leaves. Every sodding day . I will be going over there at some point. If he was also waking me up at silly o'clock I would already have been over there.

Longdistance · 12/12/2013 22:26

Tell him, she needs to text him when she's outside, rather then tooting horn.

MerryFuckingChristmas · 12/12/2013 22:29

if I was your neighbour, I would have had a word myself

in the street, in my dressing gown and slippers, at 6:30am

why is your H, and by extension you, tip toeing around this rude article ?

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 12/12/2013 22:30

Can't he just go and wait at the end of the road so she doesn't even have to come to your house? Does he melt in the rain?

puntasticusername · 12/12/2013 22:30

Half six in the fucking morning? How has no one on your street killed her yet? Or at least taken out her tyres with a BB gun?

Even emergency vehicles don't (usually) use their sirens at that time of day. THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT.

DoJo · 12/12/2013 23:55

I would tell her your neighbours have complained, because even if they haven't to you, I can promise you that they are complaining about her to one another.

magesticmallow · 13/12/2013 00:03

I would kill her!! We live opposite a creche and every morning at 8.40am the creche worker that does the school run pulls up outside the creche and honks loudly twice for the kids to come out, drives me nuts and I'm already up

Original poster

HaveAstarterANDaPudding · 13/12/2013 00:27

Thank you all.
I know DH comes across badly here, but I really think his understanding of acceptable noise is skewed by my super sensitivity.
It's not that he needs to grow a set or that he won't wait outside - he really thought that this was probably me being easily annoyed.
He's already up and at it at 0630, he has the tv on, the beeping and radio don't break into his sleep so I can understand why he didn't think it was a biggie.
But I've showed him this thread (thank you so much) and he has been very apologetic and said that he will tell her, on Monday morning (he's driving this week) that she needs to stop both - he is going to say that a neighbour has mentioned it.
Thank you. I know from the responses that it probably seems crazy that I even had to ask but when you get as pissed off as I do by small noises it's sometimes hard to judge what's reasonable.

OP posts:

Hissy · 13/12/2013 06:01

Hurrah! Mumsnet 1, beeping bint 0. :)

I loathe beeping like this. There's even a van that sells hot food somewhere on the trading estate, sorry business park where I work. Even though I know it's somewhat U to get mildly miffed about, I still do. :)

OhMerGerd · 13/12/2013 06:50

I know I am a battleaxe when it comes to this kind of thing but I'd make a note of her registration then make a call to local non emergency police saying you're a resident of X street - some idiot is causing a regular noise disturbance between 6.20 and 6.35. That you think its someone picking up a neighbour for work. That you've not been quick enough to catch them to have a word but here's the reg ... Then leave them too it. Don't mention to your DH so he can genuinely look surprised when she tells him she's had a letter or call about noise nuisance.
If you lived in my street I'd have made that call after the first week ( unless I knew you & DH then I'd have had a word ).

Jinty64 · 13/12/2013 07:21

My neighbours son does this. He doesn't even live with her but goes there to sleep some days after night duty. He comes in early in the morning with his radio blaring, sometimes before 6 am and drops of a couple of people who live locally. They bang the car doors, chat in loud voices and shout to each other, often accompanied by a couple of toots on the horn whilst the others walk away. When he leaves for work in the evening he drives two doors down and sounds the horn, this if followed by the loud voices and door banging.

When he's sleeping there his mother makes a point of letting us know that he was on night shift if the children are playing outside. Unfortunately I have developed a poor memory and so often sound my horn as I am reversing out of my driveway. I think he may be getting the message, it's been quieter this last while.

puntasticusername · 13/12/2013 07:39

Hurray! Well done OP and OP's DH

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