No mean NO fgs

[Anydrinkwilldo]

I'm off work laid up, can't clean can't drive can't do anything. Mil invited herself down to clean my house today. Was a little irritated but fine. As we were leaving the ILs (me hobbling out the door in tears as weakling causes a lot of pain. No need for this bit just wanted to throw the sympathy aspect in) she called out the door that she'd be down at 10 this morning. Dh told her not to come down as he wouldn't be there, I wouldn't be any help and he arranged with her that she could come down another day when he is here (they have day & time arranged wasn't a hanging plan). Anyway after a really bad night sleep she text this morning to day she'd be down at 10 as planned!!!! I text back it wouldn't suit I had no sleep was going to try to sleep. She said doesn't matter if I don't help she'd do it anyway. Had to ring her and tell her I wouldn't sleep if she was here and would have to be helping. Finally she got the point and then asked why I couldn't sleep after all it was only a pain and I was lying down! Burst into years and never want to see the woman again now. I know MNers will see be as BU but this woman is so controlling and has to do what she's want doesn't matter who she affects. For eg. She sulked the whole way through our wedding planning because we wouldn't change wedding venue to where she wanted us to have it. Anyway that's off track and this is long sorry, just a little rant coz I'm going crazy thinking she thinks I'm a big faker

She sounds overbearing, but I dont understand why you say you would have had to help.
had to?
No. You wouldnt. You need to work on that . guilt, right?
bugger that.
Or put the key in the door and leave it there. Even if she comes to the door she cant get in.
there is nothing wrong with setting boundaries. Lets hope she can respect them.
Help isnt help if it makes you feel bad.

What Hec said.

I don't want people touching my shit without me there to monitor. I know way too many sticky beaks to let that fly. Not to mention I would feel judged (esp. by mother in law) like I'm a shitty housewife and parent... so you're NBU to be irritated that she thinks it's okay to come whenever works for her (unless this is as a favour to you, then you work around her or not at all - which is why you tried telling her no).

Incidentally I was told my GMIL that I was a shitty housewife for not waking at 4am with my husband to make him eggs, bacon etc for breakfast each morning before work. Also for not vacuuming every day.

Bad people will always have a bad thing to say, no matter how hard you try, so I stopped trying.

I suggest you tell your DH to talk to his mother. You could just tell her you don't want her to come over, it's not her call to insist upon it. Don't come over, no excuse required.