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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this website only represents at best 30% of the country.

82 replies

morry1000 · 12/12/2013 16:00

This site seems to be representative of a small proportion of society. The views seem to be that if you have not been in higher education you are a failure. The fact that less than 30% of the population have a degree shows how divisive some of the posts on here are.

The way many posters talk down to people less fortunate than them particularly in (Education) this is a game of Top Trumps . The equivalent of someone boasting about living in a 5 bedroom house only that is a Oxbridge Degree on this site . These same people look down and make nasty comments to people who despite having a inferior education have in many cases achieved more than them. On this site on many occasions certain posters use intellectual snobbery to put people down who may have achieved at least equally to them.

OP posts:
Yellowcake · 12/12/2013 21:12

Oh, and I think Fudgeface's point about confirmation bias is a fair one. I will add that I have an Oxbridge doctorate, am working-class, and am far from wealthy.

usualsuspect · 12/12/2013 21:13

I don't think it is that diverse tbh.

It's always been a mainly 'MC' forum.

comingintomyown · 12/12/2013 21:13

Never noticed anyone giving a damn about degrees but agree if you work in retail it's the end of the world, apparently

Yellowcake · 12/12/2013 21:13

Oh for crying out loud, my first post should read 'have used Mn for three ish years'. Nothing to do with relish. Grr.

LineRunner · 12/12/2013 21:19

Well, I have seen some pretty weird oneupmanship shit on Education, and rarely go there.

The rest of MN though is thoroughly irreverent and self-deprecating, and supportive, and witty, I would say.

LtEveDallas · 12/12/2013 21:24

I actually think MN is quite diverse. I think there is a great mixture of people, I've learnt loads from people form all walks of life - those with 10000's in the bank, those down to their last few pence, those brimming with quals and those who left school with nothing.

Those that go to the Maldives for a month and those having a weekend in Bognor.

Those who stay at home with 7 kids and those that went back to work after 3 weeks. Mums who were 40 the first time, and those that were 17.

Oh and of course those with a couple of 100 spare cash, 6 GCSEs, 2.4 children and holidaying in Spain!

(But then I never, ever go in education)

TeenAndTween · 12/12/2013 21:25

On the Education boards there is quite often an implication from many posters that if a DC can't get at least AAB at A level and aim for a RG university then they might as well not bother.

The one that gets me in some other areas is that 'all teens will have sex' so instead of discouraging it / showing you don't think it's a good idea you do whatever you can to make it easy for them. I am often in a minority of approx 1 on threads like that. Smile

MN can represent all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time (I guess), but cannot represent all of the people all of the time.

Join the bits you like. Ignore the areas that wind you up too much or you're not interested in.

harticus · 12/12/2013 21:26

There is certainly a lot more self importance on here since politicians/the media starting using MN as some kind of representative yardstick.

I think accusations of intellectual snobbery are somewhat justified.
This is the only place where people seriously asserted that a predicted Grade A GCSE was a failure.

Original poster
morry1000 · 12/12/2013 21:26

I work in Retail. I had a dreadful few months this year when i was made redundant from the "Store" where i worked myself up to a regional manager and was let go after 22 years. I had to work four five months in minimum wage work. My very intelligent youngest DD was "BLOWING UP AT SCHOOL"
My husband (SENIOR EXECUTIVE) having a nervous breakdown and moved out of the house .. Refusing to pay the mortgage meaning mum and dad had to pay the mortgage.

The last year for me has been traumatic , its just getting better now.
thankfully Husband is home and that DD has been allowed to repeat yr11.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 12/12/2013 21:39

OP, that sounds awful and I'm glad things are looking up for you.

I have had a pretty shit year in many ways and received tremendous support from MNers on Chat and Relationships.

ExitPursuedByAChristmasGrinch · 12/12/2013 21:40

Sorry you have had a shit time but not sure how that is representative of MN.

BeCool · 12/12/2013 21:41

I've been here years and I don't recognise what you are describing.

There are a few snobs and people with strange attitudes on here - but it's a mixed bag all round really. I don't think mn claims to represent all of society does it?
I do have a degree Wink. Though I am the only one in my family to have one.

Original poster
morry1000 · 12/12/2013 21:41

Thank You Line runner.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 12/12/2013 21:52

Man you've had some tough times OP.. I'm sorry to hear it.

As for your first post.. you get all walks of life on a public board.. but yanno.. their shit still stinks and they wipe their arses like everybody else. I like the differences here.

Just stay off the threads you can't be arsed with. Or read stuff twice incase it's a bored curtain wiper before you answer.

smellylittleorange · 12/12/2013 22:11

Been on here a long time, yes to pinch of salt. IMO a vast majority of Mnetters obsessed with class. I couldnt care less. There is a certain abstraction from reality sometimes too and it can be a kick in the face when you perceive posters to be moaning about their position in society,when really when its written down in black and white looks like heaven to some. Sorry about the shitty year O P

mrscumberbatch · 13/12/2013 01:00

I am Hmm at 'rich bitches' comment.

That's just a shitty thing to say. There's a very small % of posters who are both rich AND bitches.

Chip on shoulder much? The reverse snobbery on here can be just as disgusting as the actual snobbery.

caruthers · 13/12/2013 01:19

This site is full of different kinds of people with different opinions,experiences and problems.
The way to use the site is to put your opinion forward and defend why you have that opinion.
Class is an illusion isn't it?

monicalewinski · 13/12/2013 01:51

There is snobbery, reverse snobbery, really sad threads that have made me actually tear up and some really, really funny threads that make me cry laughing.

There are so many different people on here, I like it (but I am quite new still, so MN is still a place of wonder for me!).

YABU with your first post, but I am sorry to hear you've had a shit year - glad things are picking up for you now.

giraffesCantSledge · 13/12/2013 01:58

I live in a 1 bedroom flat on a fairly dodgy street. I grew up in a big house in a very nice area but am not there now. Work full time in a fairly low paid job. And I have a degree, but am also doing a post grad just now which am funding so am skint!

So the idea that everyone lives in a big house with lots of money is crap. One of my best friends in RL is someone I met on MN and she lives in a council house and last year I helped her move from her homeless flat to the new house. So again no mansion and butlers!

EBearhug · 13/12/2013 03:15

I'm sure there are stats somewhere, but I haven't looked - still, I'd have thought s forum that appeals to as much as 30% of the population is doing pretty well.

GoshAnneGorilla · 13/12/2013 03:52

I have seen some of the attitudes that the OP describes. I tend to go in active threads, so if an Education thread is active, I will read it. Also some of the AIBU's about education tend to bring that attitude out of the woodwork.

There are also some prolific posters/personas who seem to be obsessed with Oxbridge/RG and that if you don't go to one, you'll be a miserable failure.

But yes, there does seem to be a large amount of bright children on MN and on one recent thread discussing teenage dd's, everyone's dd was model material/traffic-stoppingly beautiful.

However, people will usually not let excessive boastiness stand. Someone was recently told to (I paraphrase) "Stop acting like an ambassador for the super rich". Smile

Tween - there have been threads recently that was quite disparaging about the "you can't stop them having sex attitude", I think like lots of topics on MN, it depends who's posting on the day.

There is almost no MN consensus on anything, IMO.

PasswordProtected · 13/12/2013 04:56

That is interesting because my impression of most posters here are tgat they are on the lower end of the payscale, on benefits, live in rented accommodation, have abusive relationships and handicapped children.
Maybe I am reading the wrong posts?

usualsuspect · 13/12/2013 06:55

Handicapped?

Oh dear.

PresidentServalan · 13/12/2013 07:11

Did you really use the word HANDICAPPED on here??

I am only on a few boards but have noticed that people on here are generally intelligent - I have never seen this kind of snobbery that you have mentioned. I don't have DC but that is why I come on here!

Golddigger · 13/12/2013 08:32

I dont know whether that poster is posting from abroad?

I think it is a fact from the mumsnet statistics that mumsnet posters generally have more qualifications than the national average by quite some way. Could be wrong.

GoshAnneGorilla probably sums it up well.