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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand common attitudes to disposable personal hygiene products?

487 replies

hooochycoo · 12/12/2013 13:34

I'm confronted by this again and again on MN, and I confess I don't understand why it's OK to justify using disposable nappies, wet wipes, sanitary protection etc? Why is it OK to add so much rubbish to the world on the justification of convenience when there are alternatives that are still easy but generate less or no waste? Use a flannel, use a moon up, put/hold your baby regularly over a toilet/ potty, use modern easy quick drying cloth nappies. Why's it OK to recoil in horror at the hippyness of such things? But it's ok to continue buying disposable rubbish from huge corporations and throw them into landfill? Apart from an argument of "each to their own", aibu to not get it?

OP posts:
JodieGarberJacob · 12/12/2013 17:40

I'm fascinated. Are there really people who wipe their bottoms with cloths? Are these then washed? What do guests use? Maybe I've misread..

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 12/12/2013 17:41

I use what works, I bought a mooncup and it was a waste of money worked fine for the first 6 months then I couldn't use it no longer.

I don't have the money for trail and error.

MostlyLovingLurchers · 12/12/2013 17:43

In linking to that study i wanted to demonstrate that it is not clear cut that reusables are always the best option environmentally. They are if you buy second hand, wash a full load at low temperature, air dry only and reuse them for subsequent children. If you cannot meet those criteria for whatever reasons then the balance starts to shift in the other direction, especially when you include your time in the equation as a valuable resource. If you buy new, wash at 90 and tumble dry then they have a bigger environmental footprint than disposables.

There may be good reasons why people may fall on one side of the equation rather than the other. The study showed that disposables per child over a 2 1/2 year period generated approx 550kg CO2 (including manufacture), compared to 570kg for reusables based on average washing and drying practices (though this can of course be reduced whereas the disposable figure is fixed) -both options are actually closer in terms of environmental impact than the amount of angst generated justifies.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 12/12/2013 17:46

I recycle almost all my waste.

I am down to only changing my bin once a week, so 2 black bags a fortnight.

gamerchick · 12/12/2013 17:47

The OP lost me at using toilet roll.

Some people do use the washable kind.. I suppose you could get used but i'll pass.

living.wallypop.net/wipes.html

HesterShaw · 12/12/2013 17:49

All this talk of loo roll is stupid! If you're really really concerned, unbleached recycled is fine. It all disintegrates.

There are far bigger things.

Enb76 · 12/12/2013 17:50

I use a moon cup and used cloth nappies, didn't have a buggy but I didn't do it for any environmental reason. It was purely convenience and cost. I breast fed for the same reason. I like to think I make up for my unintentional environmentalism by flying all around the world at every available opportunity.

HesterShaw · 12/12/2013 17:53

Isn't the point about nappies more the landfill they generate, the space they take up and the accompanying methane and chlorine, than their carbon footprint in production?

All this talk at carbon footprints wrt nappies is a bit misleading.

I wouldn't really know as I've not used either. Apart from before I was potty trained of course....

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 12/12/2013 17:55

Why have nappies at all.

How about EC

alarkthatcouldpray · 12/12/2013 17:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 12/12/2013 17:57

www.nappyfreebaby.co.uk/what-is-elimination-communication

MrsDeVere · 12/12/2013 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gamerchick · 12/12/2013 17:58

No if you're going to preach about convenience being wrong then you should be whiter than white... or close as you can.

Toilet roll comes in packaging last time I checked..that has to be manufactured and disposed of... The loo rolls themselves are processed.

Why not use wipes and carry them around in a little bag to wash later?

TheSporkforeatingkyriarchy · 12/12/2013 18:05

I used cloth with my first two, then become quite ill during the pregnancy of my third (landing me in hospital with tubes and transfusions and going into shock). Even after I got out of the hospital, I was in survival mode. It was a big shock to the system as I went from slow decline to thinking I was going to die. Anything that helped me cope and took less pressure off of me was a blessing. Yes, my DP could have continued, but he was then in charge of three under five, a very ill wife, his own disabilities, and the general running of household and business. My third is 4 years old and honestly while I've had good time periods and bad, and managed to have a fourth, it's only the last six months that I feel like I've regained what I lost to my medical condition to the point where I could consider such things. I did have a mooncup (and a silicone cervical cap until DP had the snip) until it oddly became painful to use post DS2 and so have now turned the inner cloth liners I had for those nappies into pads (completely for comfort sake, my skin did not agree with disposables though I have an emergency pack around). We do not and have never had a car - because neither of us can medically drive (and when I could, I did not enjoy it). I'm sure there are many things you have OP that many would raise an eyebrow to.

I feel this 'convenience is not an excuse' quite an insidious form of ableism and blaming the wrong people. My energy, time, and health are important - not just important, but vital. I do not need to sacrifice myself on some sort of a alter of environmentalism to be a good person or a good mother. We get thrown these messages that we as individuals have to save the environment at cost to ourselves, when our actions at home are a drop in the ocean compared to industries. We get told we need to ethically consume when that is frankly impossible. I will not feel guilty for doing what is best for our lives, and will allow what energy and time I do have to support those who are fighting the fight against those who are actually destroying the environment - and that's not the mum with her head barely above water. Use what you want, but saying the ease of use is not important ignores how for many people the alternative would leave them too drained to do much else - and their lives, energy, time, and health are just as important.

MurderofGoths we had a very similar problem. My DP a month ago got so sick the racks constantly being in the way (and falling down) that the took all the shelves off, bought a few very long bits of wood, put them together into a tall frame, and used screws and hooks to hang the racks on what is now our ridiculously tall air dryer that we can slide the convection heater underneath. It has worked marvelously even though only he is tall enough to reach the top shelf well (gone from being able to dry maybe a load every few days to being able to do two in twelve hours).

JohnnyBarthes · 12/12/2013 18:08

Whilst I was fortunate enough to have a washing machine, I had nowhere to dry reusable nappies

MurderOfGoths · 12/12/2013 18:12

spork Sounds like a good solution, hadn't thought of using height, DH is 5'2 I'm 4'10, but we could use a step ladder I guess? How safe are the heaters around toddlers?

AmberLeaf · 12/12/2013 18:16

All this talk of loo roll is stupid! If you're really really concerned, unbleached recycled is fine. It all disintegrates

It isn't stupid at all, it is just highlighting the OPs hypocrisy.

There are far bigger things

That is exactly how I feel about my tampon usage. I don't and probably never will drive a car, I think that offsets my tampon usage.

I can remember my Mum telling me about the sanitary towels she used to use when she was a teen, sitting in chapel at boarding school feeling it all blobbing out and worrying about leaking and how she would get her cloths clean if it did. My Grandmother told me how all they had were rags [she would be 105 now, so a long time ago] and how grim it was.

I started my periods very young but my Mum gave me tampons right away and told me how to use them [I had the option of towels too] I hate using towels and only used them after giving birth or occasionally as double protection if my period was particularly heavy.

I have no desire to be a menstrual martyr and make no apology for that.

thebody · 12/12/2013 18:21

i have no desire to be a menstrual martyr and make no apology for that

here here. Grin

TheSporkforeatingkyriarchy · 12/12/2013 18:29

We use this one, I've found the feet quite sturdy so it doesn't slide or move easily, that it's generally uninteresting to mess with most of the time, and that we can keep it at a fairly low heat most of the time when they're up and it still work well (and I have been known to use a stool while using ours). Getting the clothes out of toddler height has been one of the big bonuses.

HesterShaw · 12/12/2013 18:29

But landfill is in some ways a different thing to car usage in that car usage doesn't cause landfill in the same way tampons do. Though if you're using ones which are bleached they release chlorine when landfilled I guess Flushing them down the loo is also a different thing - though I don't know if anyone has mentioned that here. It's not just some amorphous, otherworldly thing called the environment. There are different bits to it.

Bear in mind I'm not telling anyone what to do here, unlike the OP.

I do adore the phrase "menstrual martyr" though :o.

Artandco · 12/12/2013 18:36

I don't quite understand most of these answers tbh

I used reusable nappies and held babies over toilet because frankly I AM lazy! Not the other way around. I would never have remembered to keep buying new nappies and they cost a fortune. We spent £60 for enough to last x2 babies in nappies at the same time. I held over toilet at each change because frankly I couldn't be arsed to change baby, then have to rechange 10 mins later as pooed! They go in nappy bin, then in wash in eve every other day and dry overnight on dryer in flat.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 12/12/2013 18:37

I thought about explaining to you why I do what I do re sanpro and nappies.

Then I read the thread and realised you don't really want to understand. You just want to feel superior to everyone who doesn't do what you do, because in your eyes they are lazy ignorant types who don't give a shit about the environment. So I decided not to explain what I do and why.

As a few people have pointed out - if you want to change people's minds, coming across as inflexible, judgemental and narrow-minded isn't really going to help.*

To answer your question, yes YABU - it's not hard to understand why people use disposable products. I think your REAL question is "AIBU to believe that everyone should share my personal views on personal hygiene products", to which the answer is also YABU.

Yup.

kungfupannda · 12/12/2013 18:39

The thing is that we all do a vast amount of damage to our environment throughout our lives. Most people are now aware of this, and many people do something to try and redress the balance - be that recycling of some sort, using recycled products, reducing landfill.

But with very few exceptions, we don't do everything we conceivably could do. There is nothing wrong with discussing ways to improve our environmental efforts - there've been plenty of discussions like that. But there's no point picking one thing you do and then berating others for not doing it - all that happens is that they think you are irritating, and use one of their entirely legitimate come-backs, by pointing out all the stuff you don't do.

I use cloth nappies, and a mooncup, and I recycle as much as possible. I don't go round crowing about it, thought, because someone will no doubt point out that I drive every day, and don't use much organic food.

If you want to have a discussion, have a discussion. If you want to be smug and critical, then do that, but don't expect people not to be able to distinguish the two.

Kewcumber · 12/12/2013 19:41

DS and his mates used to be propped up (tied if necessary) on a potty after eating in his institution until he'd "produced" something.

Perhaps I could write a book - having children the eco-friendly way...

1 - don't have children

I'm struggling after that... but will work on it

JollySantersSelectionBox · 12/12/2013 19:49

To be fair on men, most of them have a 30 degree washable, reusable wank sock.