Aibu to ask what makes a childhood idyllic?

[YummyMummybee]

Posted on this subject before but in the wrong talk topic. I read an article about Kate & Pippa Middleton's idyllic childhood, country walks, baking, arts & crafts etc, etc & I am wondering does an idyllic childhood exist. In my mind it is what Kate & Pippa had, happy parents who played & read with children, the countryside, fun holiday... What do you think?

Just want to add, I would love my dd's to rave about their own "idyllic childhoods" in 30 years time hence why I'm asking!

Simple things are the best things...nature/walks/happy family life

I think I had a great childhood.....don't know if idyllic is appropriate.
Lovely farm in the countryside - complete freedom, nice holidays, no pressure from parents over schools/exams....

My kids are being brought up on the same farm.....same freedom, not so many nice holidays due to lack of money but I don't think that I will be calm over schooling as I'm a teacher

I think its having parents who make the time and effort to actually spend time with their children. We were broke growing up but I don't recall that really, I remember bike rides with my Dad, my Mum randomly deciding one boring sunday that we were going to make 100 cakes.. all different sorts, just for giggles.. making obstacle courses out of bunk beds and chests of drawers in the bedroom I shared with 2 sisters..

I think that is all lovely, but not at all the only version of an idyllic childhood. I was the only child of a single full-time working mother from the age of 6. We lived on a small estate, with a small garden and a fairly small park nearby. My holidays were usually spent with my grandmother, mum hates baking and we are both rubbish at crafts, sports were also out.
However, I think it was pretty idyllic: we read books together, went to the library every week, chatted our way around Tescos on late night opening evening and sang to her Bonnie Tyler tapes in the car.
Perhaps unconditional love provides the idyllic glow?

That amazing sense of being cherished regardless. Knowing when you arrived home from a day as climbing trees/building dens your parents would be delighted. When I went to university my dad, a busy professional, wrote a letter to me each week. It made me feel so special, and I had 3 brothers and 2 sisters. I was so lucky.

Not having to worry that people are going to start shouting at each other.

I think an idyllic childhood is one where your parents spend tine with you

Posted too soon. Idyllic is where your parents spend time with you and listen to you. One where you feel loved and safe and valued. Kids don't need expensive trips and presents as much as they need our time.
Doesn't matter what activities you do together as long as you make it fun.

Aww struggling what an amazing Dad.
My take on this is that some of it is inherent to a person's personality. So all the idyllic-ness in the world can't make a born-miserable person (like me) happy. It's a glass half full/half empty thing. That said, the things that made me forget my melancholy were family rituals (like meals with extended family, holidays, routines that involved us all being together)

what I try to provide for mine is... unconditional and unerring love, cuddles and kisses, my undivided attention at some point, but also freedom to explore life, perceived fairness, calm home life, regular routine, but also sometimes spontaneous treats/adventures, being listened to, being respected, going to awesome places, getting cool stuff sometimes. Being prepared like moomin mama(gloves in the cold/drinks in the heat)

My dad sent me letters at university - now does the same for dd1. Often includes a £50 cheque. Kids all adore him, not because of cheques but because he is genuinely interested in their lives. Of course I am hugely fortunate that my 85 yo dad can still discuss politics, history, theology etc with my university age children.

Time is the key - cakes, books, shopping.... Also I think time with each one individually is hugely important as well as family time. Have come to conclusion I am a crap mum because I am always overworked and lacking in chillout time. Will try much much harder just to enjoy my gorgeous children in 2014.

I honestly think that the much-trotted out "kids are resilient" is only true to a point. I think a child can sleep in a pulled-out drawer and still have an idyllic childhood: a child can cope with repossession, even death, if the adults still show they love that child and put him or her first.

Children are not resilient in the slightest to attacks on their self-esteem, bullying, violence, too-high expectations, complete lack of interest, death (if the effect on the child is overlooked due to the adult's own grief.) I don't think you need countryside walks, cooking, even parents working FT is fine. You just need to love them, and to see the world through their eyes.

My childhood was far from idyllic but in some ways it's prepared me well for adulthood. It looked idyllic from the outside mind you - beautiful sun-drenched gardens, gorgeous home, middle-class, involved parents - but in fact we had very high expectations which we always fell short of. I'm avoiding details there, of course, but to this day I battle with feelings of not being good enough.

I can't remember where I saw it but this quote - "the worries of a child may be little, but so is the child" sums it up perfectly. Seeing the world as a 4 year old, 8 year old, 12 year old, is what a really skilled parent does.

Love

you're still in the wrong talk topic, this is aibu, you wanted chat.

Freedom. To do things without parents breathing down your neck all the time.

Feeling secure & valued & knowing that your parents love you unconditionally.

I think its when your parents really want to spend time with you, I remember always laughing and gaming about with my parents I used to wait at the gate when my dad came home from work and run down the road to see him. We never really had material things but we all really loved each other.

I had a terrible childhood and remember quite clearly from a very young age realising how differently others had it at home. For me, I would say as already stated unconditional love is the most important thing, hug your child and tell them you love them, cherish your mother daughter relationship like going clothes shopping together, having a dog! making your children feel confident in the knowledge you are there for them if they make mistakes or need support. It is not about material possessions or the amount of money you have, it is about making your children feel secure and loved. That is idyllic to me.

I had a brilliant childhood!!

Saying that though, my parents divorced when I was 5 (due to an affair), my mum never had any money, we didn't have fancy holidays or nice clothes and toys. Me and my sister were in full time child care from the ages of about 6 and we saw our dad 2 weekends a month. We were bought up very, very strictly. We were force fed food we didn't want, we lived in fear of our mother and were both hit regularly. If we were really naughty (in our mum's eyes) we'd get our heads smashed together. Ouch.

But when people ask me what kind of childhood I had I absolutely gush about it!! Despite all the crap I still think compared to others, me and my sister were very lucky. We had each other and we had a very loving extended family.

I have no idea what makes a childhood idyllic - I'm sure from the outside mine sounds quite bleak, but I always look back on my childhood fondly

Feeling safe and loved. Quality time with parents and siblings.

Woodland fairy what an interesting quote. Children are often overlooked when they are going through hell.

I was bullied in secondary school but compared to my mum's boyfriend/financial troubles I really felt I was not a priority. I did not want to cause any more stress. I was in daily turmoil and needed someone to understand/care enough to intervene.

I have a close relationship with dd. I ask her how school is/who she played with every single day. I want her to be able to discuss anything with me.