To wonder if anyone else would like to put the boot in?

[ballinacup]

I posted a few days ago about how badly I'm coping with my second pregnancy.

I returned to work today following a few days of annual leave to find a meeting with the Partners of the firm I work at in my diary.

They came into my office and informed me that allegations have been made against me that could amount to harassment and misuse of company time and that I've been suspended with immediate effect pending an investigation. I have a meeting with HR next Tuesday and a decision on whether or not I will be sacked will be made before the end of next week.

They won't tell me "at the moment" who has made the allegations, or what they have said. I don't get on with my supervisor, largely because she is terrible at her job, however the Partners adore her, and people have been sacked before following disagreements with her. If I get sacked my career will be in tatters and I don't know how I'll get another job.

I do NOT cope well as a SAHM. I need time to myself to do something that challenges me. I seriously don't know what I'm going to do.

I'm sorry that this has happened to you. It is all too common. Accusations of bullying/harassment are often used as weapons by vindictive people. Be prepared to find out that somebody has built a case against you, and that it may not be who you expect; your supervisor may have stirred somebody up.

The problem with this kind of case is that the default position is often, "If this person feels harassed, then they were harassed". No matter whether the alleged harassee ever made their feelings known to you.

Think hard about how hard and how long you want to fight this. Might a compromise agreement be the way forward? You come out with a lump of cash, of which the first £30k is tax free, and a clean reference. You may not want to work for this employer any more.

Negotiate hard and fight hard - throw everything you have into your defence. The other posters are right: demand to see the detail of the allegations straight away, take somebody into the meeting with you and take advice. If you're not in a union, it would be worth the £1,000 cost of an employment law solicitor to represent you.

Good luck. I'm rooting for you. I see too any trumped up bullying allegations made by spiteful people with an agenda.

Get legal advice and don't go to the meeting alone. Whatever the final outcome, this will ensure you're treated fairly.

I'm aghast on your behalf, Ball, that's disgraceful. I understand that you have no fight left in but get somebody who will pick up that baton for you and fight. It's unbelievable that they would be 'pulling stuff together', they should have it prepared and have presented it beforehand or at least when they decided on a meeting.

You have nothing to lose, don't let them get away with it. If your representative can do nothing more than negotiate the best 'walk away' deal for you, that will be more than you have right now.

So sorry to hear this, I'd be frozen.

So sorry your going through this until it happened to someone close to me I didnt realise it was as common as it is. Like financeprincess said be prepared for the ringleader to have stirred up others to back them up as its what happened in the case I know of as it makes it harder to disprove if their is more of them than you iswim. Lots of good advice given already definitely do not go in alone.
I never thought id become like this but I now don't think I will ever trust those I work with and keep myself to myself as much as possible.

Fight them and get someone in your corner for you.

get hold of a copy of your company's disciplinary procedure. if you are in the UK, then, based on standard practice, I would suggest that correct procedure has not been followed...everything has to be in writing and advising you of rights to representation/appeal etc. if they have failed in this respect, they will have no leg to stand on in a countercharge of misconduct/wrongful dismissal (if that happens).

Also, they need to be clear on what your disruptive behaviour is and how it is being construed as harassment, with specific reference to either company policy or national legislation. It is worth noting that (again relating ot the UK) harassment is generally defined by a defined pattern of actions/events toward a person causing distress. (ie being loud and boorish in an office environment couldn't be called harrassment)

Also, a defence of an allegation of harrassment is that the "behaviour" might "in the specific circumstances" might have been reasonable....(ie if she was shouting at you for somthing and you told her she was being stupid)

just some thoughts...!

The only incident I can think of is that a few weeks ago, in earshot of other members of staff, I told her I wasn't going to do her work for her as the favour is never reciprocated.

I'm getting blisteringly angry. An email has been sent around the company asking that no one contacts me, I've been escorted off communal premises (office is based in aarge business centre) and had my laptop seized. How can I ever go back and face people knowing the rumour mill will have been working overtime?

Goodness ballinacup you are having a right time of it.

I can totally understand that you feel like you have no fight in you right now but if you are angry, them use that. Use that anger to fight.

Do NOT take this lying down, you cant.

That is slander by conduct. Not suggesting you sue, but such obvious, stigmatising mistreatment before matters have been investigated is not on. Another bit of ammunition to file away.

WOW! I'm shockd at your last post with your laptop being seized, email telling people not to contact you and.. wow.

As to the accusations you had no idea about... I had something similar happen to me once. I was on my probationary period and knew it wouldn't last as one of the bosses left and the workload reduced, I wasn't worried... at least until in that "sorry but there's not enough work" meeting she decided to "slip in" the fact that people had made complaints about me!! I'd heard nothing of the sort at any point. I was told one of the older staff members (I mean 60+ y/o who can barely use a computer) felt I didn't respect her experience. We never interacted, different departments so no need! I was incredibly hurt but it was my last day so couldn't exactly fight it.

I also didn't report people for shoddy work but they sure reported me! I wasn't/am not that kind of person who dobs on other people to the bosses, apparently I should have been!

Re your reservations about going back and the rumour mill, that's what they want. They want you to not WANT to go back. To not feel welcome. I would go to the meeting with that in mind, you don't WANT to stay, but you don't want to be made to leave. Personally I would (try) and handle the meeting like this:

1. DEFINITELY take someone with you and I would also suggest recording the meeting (make sure you tell them you are)
2. Before they have a chance to accuse you of anything, tell them some concerns you've had about work but haven't had the chance to meet with them about (have a list) and you would like to talk about those before you get to their accusations. This makes it seem less like they're petty accusations. Don't say "if she said this..." or anything, don't assume you know what this is about
3. Then listen to what they have to say. All the accusations. Don't interrupt and instead write down the important points you want to say
4. Tell them your responses. Calmly.
5. Have a decision (already made) of what YOU want to come from this meeting. Whether if they are going to give you a warning if you want to stay, or if they're trying to get rid of you whether you have an avenue to fight the dismissal, or whether you tell them you don't want to stay. That this has become an antagostic and uncomfortable environment and you would accept a severance package of X or whether you'll hand your notice over then and there (have it ready just in case).

Honestly, even if this does go okay, I wouldn't want to stay at a place like that. It's sounds horrid!

** I should say I didn't DO shoddy work but I was accused of it... just for the record :P

Hi ball, any developments today? Have you had anything in writing yet? Thinking of you and rooting for you.

I have nothing useful to add but wanted to say good luck and stay strong. You have been treated appallingly, I really hope your employers do not get away with this. Please get legal representation and give them both barrels. Then let us know how you get on, we will all be rooting for you.