to desperately want to leave my job (on verge of walking out) because of this?

[woodlandfairycreature]

Help.

I do hang around here, mainly on the weight loss chat boards, but I've had to name-change due to the content.

I am a teacher and I am hugely struggling with one of my classes, to the extent that I am going home crying whenever I have them (three times a week.)

It is a GCSE class. For some reason they have no respect for me and treat me like i'm a big joke. It's very hard to put into words - constant smirks, shaking with laughter, covering mouths, looking away (as clearly looking at me would be so hilarious they just wouldn't be able to cope.) Shouting across the room, then when I follow the school system arguments ensue - "OH MY GOD, I was only TELLING x that I wanted to lend his pen off him!" then discussions with other students about the unfairness of it "She just gave me DETENTION for asking x to lend his pen!" which leads, sometimes, to arguments from others - "You're being unfair!" I do follow the system we have (two warnings/detention) but we can only remove a child in extreme cases and I'd have to go out, phone for help and fill in a referral form and to be honest it's difficult (impossible, really) to do that with four/five kids.

Have contacted home, to no avail. It worked temporarily - most things have a temporary effect - but while I can deal with the more obvious disruption (shouting out) it is the more insidious forms of behaviour that are really upsetting me just now - the constant laughing at me, the mocking of my voice, the accusations that I don't teach them well.

I have them twice tomorrow - I hate Wednesdays.

I will have them this year and next unless they all leave or I do and I just don't know, I have had the most awful year and came close to just walking out Monday. I cannot cope with it any more. Please help me

My dd has a teacher that she and the class treats with this level of disrespect. As far as I'm' concerned this is bullying of the worst sort and is inexcusable.

We recently had to attend a meeting with this teacher and the HOY to discuss an incident where dd had screamed in her face. I cried in the meeting because I was so ashamed of dd. :-(

OP - stay strong. Most of the parents of the children who are disrespecting you will be like me - mortified and angry. If they're not, they should be. I hope your school finds a way of supporting you better.

Not a teacher here so can't suggest any strategies. But I went off sick earlier this year from a job that had been hell for 9 months. I had diarrhea every morning before work, slept really badly, stressed with
kids. I have now left and feel so much better. I feel I should have gone off a lot earlier as that period ws so horrendous. Don't just resign but do go off sick before you have a breakdown.

I haven't read all the posts, just the first couple of pages. OP, is getting a job in another school a possibility for you? It sounds like the problem isn't just this class, it's a massively unsupportive management. I'm not a teacher but I know that if there was part of my job I was finding impossible, I would ask for support and expect to receive it, and that's in a job that doesn't have the interpersonal complexities of dealing with adolescents all day long. Surely there are schools where asking for help with a difficult class is not seen as admitting failure or a fast track to competence procedures? I would have thought that asking for help in a job like teaching should be seen (within reason) as a good sign, signifying willingness to learn from others - after all, no-one can know everything. I would have expected senior teachers to appreciate that more than anyone else! Are there any other more supportive schools in your locality, and what's the likelihood of vacancies?

In the meantime, my sympathies. It must be horrible to wake up in the morning knowing you have to face this class.

I'm sorry you're going through this. DH's previous school was 'led' by a dysfunctional SMT. Useless. AND bullying, which is an horrendous combination for the poor teachers working in the school. The behavioural management policies were a total joke - the SMT seemed to want to be 'down' with the 'cool kids', and were lax on follow-through, meaning classroom behaviour tended toward the nightmarish, as there were no consequences for young people removed from the classroom. Then the teachers were targeted for poor classroom management.

In response, DH's department was fabulously supportive of one another - horrible behaviour meant the student was removed, to the classroom of a colleague to continue work in there. DH got frequent 'visits' from random students, who had to sit at the back of his room in silence completing their work. He always knew he could send his disruptive ones to his colleague's rooms to do the same. SMT weren't involved.
The other thing is: this sounds like an issue way beyond 'poor classroom management', and more akin to workplace bullying. One of DH's colleagues was being regularly racially bullied by a particular student. SMT did nothing (god, they were beyond useless, just an expensive waste of space), so the teacher said, 'That's fine. But as you're not prepared to take action, I'm just letting you know I'm going to the police.' The student ended up being rapidly and appropriately disciplined, needless to say.

If you had a choice, do you want to stay in teaching? Obviously not at this school, but somewhere else.

Hi OP, hope you didn't go in today. Just wanted to mention that I once did 18 months of supply teaching and loved it. When you feel as stressed as you do it is great to have the freedom that supply teaching brings and the money is good. Thinking of you.

Sometimes in teaching you can't get the support you desperately need. It is crap.

For the class - divide and rule. No matter how bad there will be some students, maybe only a handful, that actually want to pass your subject. A few quiet ones that just get on with it, and maybe a few bright ones who you know are good at the subject, and maybe even a few struggling ones who need help and would respond well to it. You currently feel really bad for these students because all the others are destroying it for them. Your duty is to them. These students are deserving of your time. Put them together in one part of the room - like near the front and your desk.

Write on the board the objective of the lesson. Find a textbook passage to read and some questions for them to do - really straightforward stuff. Start by telling them that the lesson will begin with 10 minutes of silent reading of the subject. Then they will work on the questions and exercises. They all need to finish up to a certain point by the end of lesson in order to keep on track for the exams. Do the 10 mins silent reading and tolerate no interruptions for any reason - silently write the names of those who talk (you can tell them you will do this - these get detention). After that you can let them talk quietly if you want, to complete the questions, and you can spend your time discussing the topic on a one to one basis or in a small group with those who are trying to work.

Ignore the rest so long as they are sitting in their seats and are not too noisy, but warn that if they don't do all the questions they will have extra homework.

That's your lesson. It is boring, but it means those who want to work get your attention. If you want to you can tell the class that their behaviour when you are trying to teach the whole class has been poor and the consequence is that their lessons will be very 'simple' with no class discussion, no group work, or IT etc until they can show you proper respect. Continue this approach every lesson extremely consistently until you see an improvement in behaviour. If you do - you can try again to be more creative in your teaching. If you don't see any improvement at least those that want to learn have the chance to do so and you need not feel guilty.

Hi OP, I hope you didn't go in today.
Just another voice saying I know where you're coming from and it sounds like your SMT is failing you massively.
Two weeks till Christmas.....one more Wednesday. Exam conditions surprise test a possibility?

Oh Lordy I feel your pain. I had a class like that once. Like you I had 10 years experience and was the go to person for dealing with difficult classes but his one group damn near defeated me. To be fair, much of the classroom dynamics was influenced by the wider community, they were from a small, quite intensely intermarried community. There were cousins, second cousins and uncles in the class, and there was a gang culture to deal with as well. However, my class had to function somehow.

You have, at least, the Christmas break coming up to allow you to gather your strength again.

Like sandfish, I got serious with the expectations. I decided one day to start again from scratch. One day I made them line up outside the classroom instead of letting them wander into the class. I had one of the security guards with me (it was that kind of place). I let them in one by one, the more compliant and keen ones first. As they went through the door I stated my expectations to each of them individually e.g. "In this class you will not speak out of turn, shout etc... Do you understand me?" Any student who dared to make a fuss was taken to the side by the security guard while I went onto the next one. Once all who agreed went in I repeated by statement to the ones who had originally argued and asked them again. I told them if they weren't prepared to abide by the school rules then I wasn't prepared to have them in my class. The alternative, obviously, to skipping class was a detention. One by one they agreed to the rules and went in...to find the class arranged with the desks facing the wall. I had also set up a few webcams in the corners of the class. It was IT so the webcams weren't noticed and were, to a point, legitimate to the session.

I then, more or less, followed exactly what sandfish suggested. I'm very good at stopping at the first squeek, turning around, crossing my arms and glaring in absolute silence. Even silent giggling will peter out if you do this long enough and consistently enough. Just stand and wait until it's silent again, raise an eyebrow if you can, then start off again where you stopped. Do this every time. Refuse to engage with any distraction or discussion. You may only get through a quarter of the planned lesson this way but the message gets home eventually. Life will be very, very boring if the entertainment of winding up the teacher continues.

It takes a while and you have to be prepared for a difficult few weeks. I eventually slackened off with the full on tactics and the class became fun again but as soon as the poor behaviour returned, the silence did also. I kept the webcams up though. It was useful to look through them afterwards for my own professional development. It was useful to see from a slightly different perspective how I dealt with students and who I interacted with less than I should. It was also verrrrry useful when one of the ringleaders made an official complaint about me swearing at him in class. So nice to be able to prove the foul language came from his mouth not mine.

If you can catch up with today's Radio 5 live there was a 'phone in' re discipline in the classroom which I think would make you feel a lot better about what is happening to you. You are obviously not alone and have my deepest sympathy. I think the time was between 10 and 11am.

Thank you. I did go in today (I have to, we have two members of staff away) and it wasn't so bad in fact.

I think I probably haven't explained myself clearly (my fault, I wound myself up into a right state last night!)

It isn't poor discipline per se. Yes, there is sometimes poor behaviour but it's limited to (say) one person calling out or whatever. I haven't got a riot on my hands when I try to teach them, I haven't lost control, I don't feel that I have to send numerous students out. But it's nasty - it's this nasty "undercurrent." And you can't send a student out for sneering at you, laughing at you, looking down their nose at you - but it is there, trust me.

I appreciate the replies advising me to send them out but I really cannot do that. Firstly and most importantly it isn't our system at school - bypassing the system is majorly frowned upon - and plus, it would disrupt other lessons and be seen as me not coping. I need to lead the department not be begging others for help. Fair enough if you've worked somewhere for a while the odd difficult class doesn't throw you but this is my second year at the school and working with my department has been difficult to say the least. We also have other members of staff needing a lot of support just now.

So - I am stuck with it! I can see that I am probably projecting a bit (have had an awful time lately, personally) but that doesn't make it any easier.

I'm on a course Friday though so no more year 10 until Monday - this makes me happy :)

Minifingers, I forgot to say my heart went out to you.

I feel so sorry for parents like you who have done all they can but their child is just rebelling terribly. It does render you sort of powerless and I just hope that your daughter comes through the other side quickly. In the meantime, just knowing parents are on the same side as you DOES help, honestly!

Dear OP. Your school has set up a system that benefits the SLT by making it difficult for you to get their help. By having to leave your classroom to call for help, the class becomes less teachable, and it's your SLT making this happen. Call them on it.

The sneering, laughing at your voice, etc. is bullying, plain and simple. Do get the parents in with the child.

What they are doing has nothing to do with your lesson planning.

I'm glad you didn't find today too bad woodland. It's good that on the whole the class are under control - when faced with rudeness I have actually used the good old mumsnet "did you mean to be do rude?" A few times this year and it has actually worked to stop kids in their tracks and look shamefaced. Might be worth a try if it is more rude attitude as opposed to disruptive behaviour.

I think with a group like this where the chemistry is so poor you are going to have to work on being positive where you can, set out and maintain clear expectations on behaviour and hide (where you can) that they are getting to you. Acting, after all, is part of the job.

I would personally draw comfort that you only have one group that's like it. It is obviously them, not you! I'm also wondering if the sensitivity about the sneering is linked to your relationships with some of the people within your department - that it has a parallel with your experience there. That you feel an outsider and you are having to work hard than you should have to, to get respect?

Hey OP. Not a teacher so can't offer any practical support. But I will say that you have been doing this (and enjoying it) for ten years. You must have helped hundreds of children learn, and you are still doing the same now. These sneering little shits can go fuck themselves. You are a grown up, nothing they say about your appearance etc means shit. In another year they will be out if your life forever, and you will have got through it and carried on doing a great job with the other kids. Those little fuckers will probably be assholes for a good chunk of their lives, if it wasn't you it would be someone else I'm sure. So fuck them off. If you can, just get through their lessons and focus on the things you enjoy about the rest if your job. Every time they get sneery just remember that their opinions matter exactly nothing to you. You will continue to be a good teacher long after they've failed and moved on to bully someone else.

Oh Woodlands I am glad that it went OK - ex teacher here and I worried about you all night.

My advice to you (apart from looking for a job in a more supportive school - honestly, yours sounds awful) is

a) try to reward the good ones. So put a smiley face on the board, and every-time you have to give someone a warning, try to select someone to praise. X warning for calling out, Y name on board for focusing on the question in hand. X warning for whispering, Y warning for getting started on work quickly. It can be quite therapeutic, for you as well as for the kids, when you are giving out warnings to see the list of names under the smiley face growing quicker.

and b) detach from the nastiness and address it unemotionally, in a bored factual tone of voice, and then move on quickly to engage with/praise a sensible child.

Enjoy your weekend off and keep on posting here. MN will get you through.

Op, also not a teacher but echo what hop along says. If they know you are getting irritated by them, it will encourage them. There's a power struggle going on & teenagers feel like adults who don't get to make the decisions. In a way they're right.

Can you do some sort of morning meditation where you don't focus on them? It sounds like they are taking over your headspace & you need to reclaim it. The ideal situation would be for them to know that you're in control. Can you fake feeling at ease & breezy? Making some jokes for a lesson & at least look as if you're not bothered by them? (Easier said than done I know)

If not, then see doc & get signed off. You shouldn't be forced out of a job you love(d) & time off May make them behave better. Awful ad it is, we had a teacher in our school that students viewed her classes as the one to fool around in & wind her up. Sadly she had a breakdown but when she came back, kids were better behaved. Only you know what you can deal with. It sounds like your management is really rubbish not to support you so if you take some sick leave, please don't feel bad-you need to preserve yourself.

And you need to treat yourself out of school so be gentle with yourself & take care

Oh woodland I really feel for you. I previously worked in Education Support at an FE college and was placed with a class exactly how you describe. It was horrendous. She was a strong and experienced teacher but those boys were awful to her and me. Neither of us was supported by our respective departments or by management. The situation improved for us when we both made our plans to leave, as we could see an end to it.

Make your plan. Don't let it linger on. Stay strong :)

I would phone parents every Wednesday if need be. Explain about the rudeness. Keep phoning.

Also can you spend some time getting them to reflect by looking at bullying without discussing the situations
. What it is. Different types of bullying. What bullying says about the bully etc.

For every bit of rudeness can you give them a few mins of a detention, adding up to a longer period.

Really feel feel for you. Must be so upsetting.

I have scanned through the thread, not read every post so apologies if I have missed something.

Op, in a nutshell, you sound too sensitive. These kids will only continue their behaviour if it's getting the desired effect; and it sounds like you are giving them that desired affect.

They are making you feel uncomfortable and can see this. Turn it around. Make them feel uncomfortable. You need to develop a game face. Completely dead-pan, unimpressed, un-moved. Put the focus on the ringleader or ringleaders. Everytime they interrupt, shout out, whisper, have fake spasms of laughter about something you say or do...stop what you are doing. Focus on them and give them your complete attention. Ask them to share with the class...shush the others and tell them that Johnny (or whoever) has something they'd like to say so can everyone please pay attention to him.

Keep silent and focus on the individual. Keep the rest of the class focused on that individual. It takes a very short amount of time before that person starts feeling like a dickhead and shuts the hell up. I've never seen it fail, even with the most confident/arrogant of individuals.

I have seen the 'humiliation' method work on classes full of the most disruptive teenagers. I have used it myself on a class of difficult 15/16 year olds (I am not a teacher but have conducted business/career-type workshops in comps) and I have used it within a training environment in a room filled with supposed adults who are being disruptive in training sessions.

You need that game face though. The second you blush, stutter or visibly become upset or uncomfortable, they are winning and will continue.

Hugs.
I know you are saying that you over reacted last night, and it is not that bad. Trust me it is.
I spent several years in a very unsupportive school, however I was full of excuses about the place.
I had allowed myself to believe that yep it was not perfect but about once a week I had a I love my job moment so it could always be worse!
After 6 months from hell (stated with being pinned against a wall by some year 11s ended with the head shouting at me in front of parents) I left- yep at the time I was worried I had bills ect. But I walked in a job at an amazing school.
Your smt are brain washing you that there is no issue, that you should be able to sort it. They are paid 3 to 4 times what you are they should help you!
Really get on to tes start talking to teacher friends get your self out if there!

I have an awful class this year but the difference is I have supportive management. I think in your situation I would have to leave. The stress would eat me up.