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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to desperately want to leave my job (on verge of walking out) because of this?

189 replies

woodlandfairycreature · 10/12/2013 21:07

Help.

I do hang around here, mainly on the weight loss chat boards, but I've had to name-change due to the content.

I am a teacher and I am hugely struggling with one of my classes, to the extent that I am going home crying whenever I have them (three times a week.)

It is a GCSE class. For some reason they have no respect for me and treat me like i'm a big joke. It's very hard to put into words - constant smirks, shaking with laughter, covering mouths, looking away (as clearly looking at me would be so hilarious they just wouldn't be able to cope.) Shouting across the room, then when I follow the school system arguments ensue - "OH MY GOD, I was only TELLING x that I wanted to lend his pen off him!" then discussions with other students about the unfairness of it "She just gave me DETENTION for asking x to lend his pen!" which leads, sometimes, to arguments from others - "You're being unfair!" I do follow the system we have (two warnings/detention) but we can only remove a child in extreme cases and I'd have to go out, phone for help and fill in a referral form and to be honest it's difficult (impossible, really) to do that with four/five kids.

Have contacted home, to no avail. It worked temporarily - most things have a temporary effect - but while I can deal with the more obvious disruption (shouting out) it is the more insidious forms of behaviour that are really upsetting me just now - the constant laughing at me, the mocking of my voice, the accusations that I don't teach them well.

I have them twice tomorrow - I hate Wednesdays.

I will have them this year and next unless they all leave or I do and I just don't know, I have had the most awful year and came close to just walking out Monday. I cannot cope with it any more. Please help me Sad

OP posts:
Hollyandbooze · 10/12/2013 23:03

Wear them down fairy. Come on, you need to raise your fighting spirit!

There's got to be a way.

Talk to hoy about specific characters, get their background info. Who is sporty, who is arty? What's gonna hurt to miss out on? Trips? Extra curr? Talk to other subject teachers. What's worked for them?

Original poster
woodlandfairycreature · 10/12/2013 23:04

Imperial, I think that the problem with that method is that my hardcore group of troublemakers just wouldn't care. Honestly, truthfully, they wold not give a shit.

The kids who DO care would resent me because its my fault - and complain to SLT that the rubbish teacher they've got is stopping them going to sixth form. Most wouldn't actually, to be fair, but they would be upset. I need to gain their confidence, not lose it.

I am seriously considering making an appointment to see the head and asking to leave at Christmas, but money is heavily on my mind.

OP posts:
LadyHarrietdeSpook · 10/12/2013 23:05

What an idiot! Xmas holidays not chad holidays.

Stupid phone!

mineofuselessinformation · 10/12/2013 23:05

I'm too tired to read the whole thread at this time of night - sorry! But I hope this is helpful all the same:-
Could you institute an 'on-call' timetable in your department where you identify a colleague (and a second one as a back up) who is non-contact or has a decent class (top set, year 7 for the embarrassment factor, or sixth form). Then you or your colleagues in the department send to first choice and then second choice if necessary. No leaving the classroom is required. You just tell the student they are to go to X and that you will email X the time that they left your classroom so they know what time to expect them. Only allow them to take their books so they have to return and you can speak to them when the rest of the class has left.
This gives a very clear message and of course if they refuse to go this is a whole other ball game. You can potentially remove at least three students from the room doing this.... Hopefully the message will begin to sink in.
As for the sniggering etc, confront it face on: 'Did you say something to me? If you did, can you say it loud enough for us all to hear?' Let them know you are not afraid to face up to them. You will need a good amount of acting skills - keep thinking 'icy calm' as you are dealing with this group...
Good luck. You will need to work hard to get through this, but if you manage it, you will never feel this way again.

Original poster
woodlandfairycreature · 10/12/2013 23:05

Holly with respect, I have tried, I have tried and tried and tried. But nothing I have tried (parents, HOY, form tutors, sanctions, praise) has made an iota of difference. They do not like me, they really do not, and they enjoy wearing me down.

I don't know why they dislike me, but they do!

OP posts:
Hollyandbooze · 10/12/2013 23:09

Ok. I believe you!

Time out then as suggested for you. Reflect, regroup and plan a way out.

ImperialBlether · 10/12/2013 23:09

Noooooooooooo don't leave! No way.

If you are at that point, then you should stay off on sick leave. However, as I said about, you should point out to your head that you are being bullied and that it's not a matter of not coping with the class, but they are deliberately destroying your mental health.

You can have a year off sick before deciding whether to leave or not. By then you will have another job to go to. Please don't leave and put yourself in such a difficult situation financially. You will be incredibly depressed if you do.

For now, don't go in tomorrow. If you can't face ringing in sick, PM me and I'll ring in for you. The doctor would sign you off in a flash.

TheMaw · 10/12/2013 23:09

The union, OP? Have you tried that?

FunnyFestiveTableRunner · 10/12/2013 23:12

OP am on phone so short post only but please consider taking a few days off and seeing your GP. You sound absolutely flattened by this. It is a shit situation and your SLT sound completely useless. Your number one priority needs to be your own health. I know you are worried about paying your bills but in reality you are entitled to extremely generous sick pay. Agree about the union thing join one now if you haven't already. Arrange a formal meeting with SLT with union rep. Refuse to attend meeting without union rep. It is extremely difficult for your school to run you out unless you do something crazy like walk out of school. The way you are feeling at the minute will make you more vulnerable to doing something crazy. Take some time off and see your GP for support.

Original poster
woodlandfairycreature · 10/12/2013 23:12

Thank you. Union won't help x

OP posts:
ShriekingGnawer · 10/12/2013 23:13

This might sound really weird but have you thought about doing some boxing or martial arts of some kind? Confidence makes a huge difference in how teenagers treat you voice of bitter experience

FunnyFestiveTableRunner · 10/12/2013 23:13

What do you mean union won't help?

ImperialBlether · 10/12/2013 23:14

Exactly what FunnyFestive says.

ImperialBlether · 10/12/2013 23:15

A lot of union reps are really crap.

FunnyFestiveTableRunner · 10/12/2013 23:15

Do not leave. Go sick before you consider leaving without another job to go to.

TheMaw · 10/12/2013 23:15

Why won't the union help?

ShriekingGnawer · 10/12/2013 23:16

Has there ever been a time when you have felt it went well with this class?

TheMaw · 10/12/2013 23:17

A lo of Union reps are really good. That wasn't a very supportive post for someone who is worried about getting the union involved Imperial

Original poster
woodlandfairycreature · 10/12/2013 23:17

It's a behaviour issue. What could the union do? To be honest, unions do little (in my experience) even when there is a problem, while here, although its miserable, classroom management is supposed to be something we can deal with.

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 10/12/2013 23:17

When this sort of thing happens in my dept, we rally around the affected teacher because we all know it could be us. If 5 kids need to be out of the class, then we'll all take one or two, just for a week or so, to give the teacher a break and a chance to establish a good relationship with the rest of the class. Can you get your dept to support you if SLT are shit?

I had a bullying Y10 class in my first year. Group humming was their thing, and all hiding under the desk when my back was turned. What helped with them was doing a coursework task with them. Minimal whole class teaching, and lots of going around the class having 1-1 conversations with them. Individually they were ok with me and once I had a good relationship with individuals, they were less inclined to be horrible. Could you plan work that's less you in front of the whole class?

WestmorlandSausage · 10/12/2013 23:17

woodlandfairycreature if you were in charge, there was no one looking over your shoulder and you could decide to deal with this class in whichever way you wanted what would you do?

Original poster
woodlandfairycreature · 10/12/2013 23:18

Imperial is right, though. I have little (if any) faith in the union.

If I move round the class they get SO rowdy - that was the problem with them the other week when the SLT member came in! Department won't help really - it's taken a lot to get to the point where they have respect for me and even that is tenuous at best.

OP posts:
WestmorlandSausage · 10/12/2013 23:19

also, what subject is it?

FunnyFestiveTableRunner · 10/12/2013 23:19

The union are there to help you deal with SLT's behaviour not your class. They are there to make sure you are given the support you need.

Original poster
woodlandfairycreature · 10/12/2013 23:19

I don't know sausage, I have no confidence left by now, I really don't, evidently I have done something to get this group to this point but I don't know what Sad

OP posts:
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