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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want the hv to come round :(

15 replies

Mummytotwox · 10/12/2013 18:15

Apparently she turned up today, didn't hear her. She's coming back tomorrow. Aibu to not want her to come round. I have/had pnd. Not heard from her in a year, now all of a sudden she's turned up. Every time she comes round I feel like she questions me over everything. Erghh I can't be doing with her coming :(

OP posts:

Writerwannabe83 · 10/12/2013 18:17

Why is she coming??? Seems a bit random to just turn up after a year of no contact? Or are you expecting again?

Original poster

Mummytotwox · 10/12/2013 18:18

Nope I have no idea :-/ must be a new hv as other one retired about 6months ago

OP posts:

Writerwannabe83 · 10/12/2013 18:22

My guess then is that if it's a new one she might just want to get to know her client group? My friend has just recently qualified as a Health Visitor and the first few months of her work load are mainly about getting to know the families that are on her case load. She obviously can't get to know all of them so she has had to target certain families and make contact. These are families where the baby is relatively young, the child has a medical need or if the mother has any history of PND. I think it is just a 'meet and greet' exercise really.

I'm sure her visit will be harmless but I can also see why you would be apprehensive. Do you feel your PND has been dealt with now or would you like more support?

Perhaps you could ring her at the office in the morning and clarify exactly what it is she is coming for? It may put your mind at rest?

Fairylea · 10/12/2013 18:24

I'd ring the go surgery or community health office (wherever yours comes from) and say it's not convenient and ask for the purpose of the visit.

Seems really odd after no contact for a year. I haven't seen mine since ds was 6 weeks old! You don't have to see them. Having said that if you are having treatment for your pnd (and I hope you are, I had severe pnd and medication and counselling really helped me) maybe they just want to make sure you are getting the help you need?

Fairylea · 10/12/2013 18:24

Gp surgery. Not go surgery!

Original poster

Mummytotwox · 10/12/2013 18:25

Thing is when I had had a bad bolt of my depression and Iv asked for help, I get nothing! Nothing at all.

OP posts:

Writerwannabe83 · 10/12/2013 18:28

Well, maybe meeting your New HV will be a fresh start??
You may find she's brilliant?
Just be honest with her about how you feel and discuss your experience with the previous HV (I.e her not being very helpful) and just see where it takes you.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 10/12/2013 18:35

Is there a check at 12 months in your area for your baby?

MadameJosephine · 10/12/2013 18:39

She shouldn't just turn up unannounced, particularly after all this time, surely she should at least telephone to see if it is convenient. I would phone in the morning and ask why she needs to see you and if you don't think you need to see her decline her offer of a visit, it's not compulsory

brettgirl2 · 10/12/2013 18:44

I thought they were meant to call first? Have they got an old mobile number or something? That happened to me and she just turned up but was v apologetic and offered immediately to rearrange.

Original poster

Mummytotwox · 10/12/2013 18:44

My baby is now four lol. I'm going to ring in morning x

OP posts:

MrsWedgeAntilles · 10/12/2013 18:47

Mine did exactly this and it was the same one. I had one very quick visit when DS was about 2 weeks old and that was it for his first year. We went regularly to a clinic to have him weighed etc but they didn't come to us, in fact we called them the Health You Have To Come To Us's because they never visited.

One day I answered the door, fully expecting to be giving it my "I don't buy at the door" speech and it turned out to be the HV. We'd had some issues with breast feeding and tongue tie and I'd also had PND but she didn't know about them and it just seemed to be a routine call.

It was all a bit odd. I moved about 18 months later and never saw her again, like I said a bit odd.

MrsWedgeAntilles · 10/12/2013 18:52

Arrrgh! That's a rubbish post, the HV was the same one I saw when DS was little, not the one who saw you as it sounds in my post. I also meant I didn't see her at all for the last 18 months I was there, not that I didn't see her at all after I moved as that would have been normal.
DS is showing me an imaginary beetle and I got a bit distracted.

whatshallwedo · 10/12/2013 19:48

It might be that she wants to do a final visit before care is handed over to the school nurses. She should have written to you or called you first though.

thenamestheyareachanging · 10/12/2013 22:37

Just ring the surgery and leave a message saying you don't need a visit - then go out! health Visiting service isn't compulsory, you don't have to have them round.

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