To think this was rude?

[magesticmallow]

My first AIBU, I'm pretty sure I'm not being unreasonable but am prepared to be told I'm wrong

We had a gathering recently (being purposely vague so as not to out myself), it involved a ceremony, which everyone was invited to, followed by a gathering in the lounge/function room of a nearby bar/restaurant. The ceremony was on early enough during the day, to be finished for lunch time so we were mindful of the time of day organising food etc.

Firstly a lot of people didn't show up to the ceremony but arrived afterwards, no problems as such, a little cheeky, I always try make the ceremony but hey ho I wasn't going to let it annoy me on the day. We arranged food for an hour after we arrived at the venue, so just after lunch, there was loads of it, sandwiches, hot finger foods (6 varieties), laid on buffet style (4 chaffing dishes - I think that's what they are called) replenished twice, with cupcakes, cake and party bags for the kids for afterwards. All good, lovely food, everyone happy and when it was gone they cleared the buffet table and left out more sandwiches, the sweets and cakes - I just mean that there was constantly something out on the tables to eat. About an hour after the food was put out a group of people arrived, they could have eaten at that stage as there was still plenty of everything there but they didn't.

So we had pre arranged for the exact same serving of food to be served a second time that evening, so about 3-4 hours after it was served the first time. So the staff cleared the buffet and were clearly bringing out clean plates and re-setting up the buffet etc for more food and getting everything ready, when a few minutes later I see that a group had ordered a take away!!! Now is it just me or is it rude to go to a function and order a take away and sit there and tuck into it?? I only ask because others seemed shocked at the rudeness and others seemed to think nothing of it. I won't do or say anything about it to be honest but I just want to know that I am not being unreasonable in thinking they were a shower or rude so and so's and I am not on my own in thinking this is not acceptable at someone's event. (Sorry that was long I just wanted to paint a clear enough picture)

Yes, I would find this very rude

I wouldn't let it ruin my day though, I would have given them a look of frosty surprise and then ignored.

I wouldn't be fussed either way tbh.

Their choice. Each to their own etc.

Based on what you've said, I would say YANBU.

Did the group who ordered the takeaway realise that there was going to be another buffet served, but still chose to order a takeaway?

If they knew, then they have been very ill-mannered. If they didn't know, and hadn't seen the new buffet being set up, then it would be slightly more forgiveable.

And, as an aside, they are called chafing (pronounced shafe-ing) dishes, from the French chauffer, meaning to make warm. Here ends the French lesson

Yes I think its rude. I wouldn't go to an event where food was offered and then sit and eat a takeaway there.

Wouldn't bother me but I'd think it was a bit odd. Some people are though.

A friend's boyfriend brought a takeaway Pizza Hut salad to her family's barbecue because he said that was the only salad he liked

He was happy to eat everything else.

I'd be pissed off. I would feel that it showed they were unhappy with the food provided or that there wasn't enough. Even if that wasn't their intention - That's how it would be perceived.

Some people seem to have no sense of what is socially acceptable.

Don't let worrying about that silly group of people spoil the afterglow of your event though :)

Unforgivably rude. And I would be letting know I thought that (I am like that, though )

Id find that rude.

YANBU, they were being rude.

Very rude. Yanbu at all.

YANBU, I would never even think of going to a function and ordering a takeaway, it implies dissatisfaction with the food on offer. If for some reason I was still hungry, I'd order a takeaway after I'd gone home, not at the venue! They are lucky they didn't get you into trouble with the venue as many don't allow outside food.

I think it sounds rude too. But then again I think the peope who showed up for the "party" but CBA to go to the ceremony that it was presumably celebrating were being extremely rude too.

Wow this is unbelievably rude, YANBU. Do these people usually behave with no social awareness or was it just a slip up. Are you close enough to them to ask why they did it? I am annoyed for you, honestly it astounds me that some people are completely unaware of basic manners.

Thanks everyone I'm so glad it's not just me that thinks it was rude, I looked over and couldn't believe my eyes!

Apprentice I had said it to people that more was being served but I can't be 100% I said it to everyone, however, it was very obvious when they were coming back out with chafing (thank you ;) ) dishes etc that it was being replenished.

I won't say anything, I was just shocked and unsure if it was just me who thought it was rude, I saw a few other shocked faces there while others didn't bat an eye lid

5foot5 I thought that was super rude too, I would never not turn up without prior warning. If people couldn't make the ceremony and text/called beforehand I wouldn't have minded a bit but to not say a word was rude I thought too

Very rude, YANBU. Some people just don't know how to behave properly.

Uncultured

I would have thought they were stupid more than anything, why order a take out when your host is laying on loads of food.

Still, as DH says "you can't educate shit"

It was rude and it was stupid and tbh I think you are lucky the venue didn't kick up a stink with them - many would have done. I think the people in charge of the venue must have been very understanding and respected your right to a lovely day whilst your friends didn't.

Don't let it spoil it though - just don't invite them to anything again.