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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be tired of being expected to wrap everyone else's Christmas presents?

56 replies

Libra · 10/12/2013 12:15

I probably am. Am prepared for a flaming. It is of course lovely that our relations want to send presents for DS1 and DS2, plus of course DS2's birthday a few days before Christmas. And we are very grateful for this.

The problem is that I am just exhausted by the thought of all the wrapping because all of them are just getting parcels delivered to our house 'and then can you just wrap it up for him please'? To say nothing of the fact that they all seem to have chosen Amazon and so all the boxes look exactly the same. Plus the fact that the presents for me and DH are also being sent this way but 'don't open those whatever you do!' Well how can I avoid doing that when I am surrounded by Amazon boxes of the same shape and size? How do I magically know which one I should open and wrap for the children and which one is for me and so should be left alone?

Oh, and it would be lovely if I could have a nicely wrapped present to open myself rather than just a small pile of Amazon boxes.

I did my present shopping earlier, thought about the fact that it would all need to be posted or carried on an airline, wrapped it all nicely and sent it like that. But it seems that no one is going to do that for me!

Yes, I am BU because it is nice that people are sending presents, but I really would like someone at least to do more than click on a link and put in my address and then expect me to do all the wrapping and writing of an address label and working out whose present is whose (there is some vagueness already about which book has been bought for which son...)

OP posts:

specialsubject · 10/12/2013 14:15

why bother wrapping them? Stack it all up under the tree as it is, if you really want to you can get a sheet of 'snow effect' (i.e. a white plastic opaque sheet) in Poundland, throw it over them, job done.

save a fortune and a load of waste on gift wrap which goes from plastic-wrapped roll to bin in seconds.

girlywhirly · 10/12/2013 14:44

magenta, the OP could send a note with the unwrapped gifts saying that they are saving the planet and have decided not to use wrapping paper any more, and that their rellies may wrap their own if they wish!

Lambzig · 10/12/2013 14:56

YA definitely NBU. Both of our families do this and it drives me nuts. The DC now have 27 presents in the bathroom cupboard - all from Amazon, which I will have to wrap along with my own present wrapping. It really does make me feel ungrateful, although I know I should be.

I would rather they spent less on the present and paid for gift wrapping.

And while I am ranting, I would just like one person, in the whole of my family (inc DH) to buy me a SURPRISE present. They have all known me for at least fifteen years, if not all my life. If I say I want a surprise, I get John Lewis vouchers.

Budgiegirlbob · 10/12/2013 15:04

While YANBU, I wish my relatives would at least do as much as yours do.
My mum sends me a cheque, and I have to go out and buy presents, wrap and write cards for my DCs. I do appreciate the gifts, but it is extra to do, and sometimes I struggle to think of things to buy, as my kids never put much on their lists!

My inlaws will ask what they can get the DCs for Christmas, then when you tell them, they will look at you blankly and say 'I've no idea where to get that', so you end up doing it for them. This year we got a small bike for them to give to my DD, and took it round to hide in their garage. MIL just looked at it, said it looked a bit boyish (it is in DD's favorite colour blue) and could I just pop out and get some tassels for the handle bars to pretty it up a bit!

I just gritted my teeth, smiled and said yes. Because I do appreciate the gifts for my kids, but it would be nice if they could get them themselves, they are both in their 60's and retired, whereas I have a job, 3 kids and all the Christmas shopping to do.

Gladvent · 10/12/2013 15:08

Some people pay a fortune for brown paper packages under their tree... so a pile of Amazon boxes is actually v trendy retro when you think about it. I wouldn't rewrap them. Life is too short and it doesn't matter.

Original poster

Libra · 10/12/2013 15:12

Thanks for all the support. Am determined that this is the last year that I will do this! Will put into action some of the suggestions on the thread and remind myself how nice it is that people want to give us presents in the first place!

OP posts:

BreakingGood · 10/12/2013 15:13

I use fabric Christmas bags with drawstrings - you can get them cheaply off eBay and, of course, can be used year after year. Just shove the entire box in!

sandfrog · 10/12/2013 16:56

YANBU

SunshineMMum · 10/12/2013 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NothingMoreScaryThanAHairyMary · 10/12/2013 17:37

My family do this but I don't have a problem with it.

I would rather the dc had the money spent on presents than on the postage/ wrapping services (which cost almost half what is spent). It seems like a huge waste for the sake of a couple of hours wrapping (most of my family live away and 3 dc's).

Dh helps and it is now just a tradition.

KatnipEvergreen · 10/12/2013 17:43

YANBU. A lot of very lazy relatives on the thread!

PTFO · 10/12/2013 18:00

YANBU

This year I have had to decide on behalf of family and friends what to buy DS (its hard enough as it is as there is nothing cheap on his list, so end up using my good ideas for them!). he is the only child in the family and not one can be bothered to look online or go into a shop.

So I have to choose, wait for things to go on offer keep checking until it does, order, pay for delivery/collect from shop (and pay parking) then gift wrap or drop it off at their house so it look like they could be bothered! Then wait until after Christmas when they can be bothered/afford to pay me.

Oh and my dm who says "I have no idea what to get so and so what are you getting them?" so I say im getting ABC and then she says "oh yes that's a good idea, Ill get them that".....WTF!!

I make an effort buying gifts for other people- what will I get for xmas- money Im too difficult to buy for!!

CallMeNancy · 10/12/2013 18:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

superram · 10/12/2013 18:19

I send parcels without paying £3.50

BsshBossh · 10/12/2013 18:29

YANBU. We have a few relatives who used to do this until I told them either please send them using Amazon's gift wrap option or have them delivered to their own house and post on wrapped. I explained I didn't have time to wrap everything myself (which was the truth). Plus I'm an exceptionally lousy wrapper.

BeeBawBabbity · 10/12/2013 18:33

I dont see the problem tbh. Think of the extra resourses used in having a parcel sent to a first address, wrapped, taken to a post office, second postage paid for and then transported again (time, money, carbon emissions). The wrapping paper is ripped of in a second then needs recycling.

I think it's unnecessary and wasteful. Ive sent a present to a friends baby before, direct from amazon. They told me to gift wrap it next time. I thought that was rude.

Merrylegs · 10/12/2013 19:22

Don't wrap them - that is bonkers. Why not open all the wrapped presents first and save the parcels for a little later in the day? Makes it all less overwhelming and exciting also. You could just stick a bow on each parcel if you think they need festiving up. Amazon charge an extra £3.10 for giftwrapping even a small book - that's a lot to add to a present.

CrispyFB · 10/12/2013 20:08

I agree with you. We have three DC (and DC4 on the way) and my side of the family has been doing this for years now and occasionally DH's family although they are a lot better about it. It wasn't so bad when it was just one DC, but a precedent was clearly set.

I understand why, because it is saving them money on postage. And postage can be quite hefty after all. And the odd one or two wouldn't be so bad and each relative only sees it as "just a few, what's the harm?".

However, from our point of view, multiply a few relatives by 3 DC (plus DH, guess who has to wrap his presents from family..) and a few presents for each one and it gets excessive. Having already wrapped the present mountain from us, it is frustrating to have to spend a further half an hour wrapping the rest. It's not the cost, it's the hassle - I'm exhausted after just doing ours and already sick of the sight of presents. Especially as DS (toddler) is not so good at going to bed at a reasonable time so we don't have much spare child-free time to tackle the wrapping anyway. Therefore it usually means a much later bedtime for us staying up doing everyone else's wrapping and we're grumpier the next day.

Of course we're grateful for the presents for the DC but these are immediate relatives - it would be a bit unreasonable of them to send nothing! I mean, we're grateful, we wrap them, but I'd rather they wrapped them. Or paid Amazon to wrap them. Heck, WE will pay Amazon to wrap them if they asked and cost is the issue, I am so sick of it!

I should point out that usually all our presents we give out are shipped to us, wrapped, and sent on.. just sayin'. So no hypocrisy here!

TheDoctrineOfSanta · 10/12/2013 20:14

CrispyFB, don't wrap your DH's presents FFS.

TheDoctrineOfSanta · 10/12/2013 20:16

I never pay for amacon gift wrap but then I only amacon stuff over to a friend's DD and she does the same - kids just open the boxes.

sandfrog · 10/12/2013 20:33

I spend time choosing wrapping paper and writing a nice message on the label and then going to the post office, etc. But they just point and click and expect me to do everything else.

Agree. Surely part of Christmas giving is making an effort for others.

Jinsei · 10/12/2013 21:07

Wow, I'm truly amazed that so many people are saying yanbu. I think you're being ungrateful.

My DSis expects me to wrap stuff for dd every year (I even had to go out and collect it last year!) and it has never occurred to me to mind! I also wrap stuff from various aunts and uncles, family friends etc. I just think it's generous of them to give presents to dd, and I'm grateful for that.

I tend to be more organised about Christmas than others in my family, and the last couple of years, I've ended up helping them out with wrapping their gifts for other members of the family too. It really isn't that big a deal.

CrispyFB · 10/12/2013 22:25

TheDoctrineofSanta - If it was just us, I wouldn't - but the DC like to see daddy unwrap stuff too!

Suttonmum1 · 10/12/2013 22:37

Some years ago I bought one of those sellotape dispensers you put on your wrists. Hideously expensive way of using sellotape but it really speeds things up. I only use it at Christmas.

Mim78 · 10/12/2013 22:47

Why not use Amazon gift wrap option as everyone has suggested? They can't possibly be that tight!

I have sent a few presents directly to people this year (or to other rellies that live nearby) but ONLY IF GIFTWRAPPED FIRST.

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