To be annoyed with DH (yet again)

[Xmas2013MN9653]

DH & I are going through a few problems & going to Relate to try & sort it out. One thing that keeps coming up again & again is the fact that we don't have much time together without the kids (date nights).

DH already knows I'm annoyed because he promised to organise a night out back in August & it still hasn't happened. My works night out was due to be last Saturday & the ILs we're babysitting.

Anyway, my works do was postponed so I said to DH 'why don't we get your parents to babysit anyway & we'll go out?' Didn't hear anything until I saw MIL who said she'd crossed the babysitting out of her diary.

I later asked DH if he'd spoken to her & he said he had but she'd suggested we might like to go out on a weeknight instead (an offer of babysitting for such has yet to materialise). Bearing in mind I work 3 days a week I'd either be going out after a day at work or be working the next day, so why would I prefer this?

Sorry this is so long, I'm actually quite upset about this, so AIBU?

Why can't you organise a night out for you both?

Because I'm the one that always does it & I said it would be lovely if he would do it for a change.

Sorry, this is probably going to turn into a horrible drip feed thread, I don't mean it to but there's such a huge back story about why we're having problems etc and I don't really know what's relevant or not.

Yes. That is very frustrating when you always organise it. It is lovely for your OH to do it once in a while.

This used to drive me mad and it never changed.

Could you perhaps have a talk with your DH about why this is important to you? Try to say it in a nice way and not a critical way. ie. "I would really love/appreciate it if you organised a night out for us now and again", not "You never do it, it's always me"
This is more likely to work, although it never worked for me.

YANBU being unreasonable to be annoyed

Without knowing the back story then its hard to say.. on the face of it you seem to be annoyed with him for something that either of you could arrange..

Couple of questions is your mil normally so controlling over when you can go out ie deciding you should do it on a week night instead. How is the counselling going do you think, has there been any positive changes

YANBU. You explained to DH that something was upsetting you, he said he would address this, he hasn't done so.
I would be feeling let down as well as annoyed.

I did say to him 'it would be really lovely if you came home one day & said 'get changed we're going out'' rather than 'you never do it' but that was August & we've still not been out.

Re his MIL is very controlling, ideally she'd micromanage every aspect of all our lives, but that's a whole other thread

It might actually be the root cause of it rather than a whole other thread. If your mil is a control freak then your dh may be too scared of getting it wrong if he does something as a surprise. It might be worth telling him what to arrange in the first instance and take little baby steps till he has the confidence to completely surprise you.