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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

am i the only one who dislikes christmas

106 replies

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 09/12/2013 22:27

bah humbug alert.

I never get in the Christmas spirt, the christmas decs are already bugging me and I am glad to be working all over christmas.

OP posts:
autumnsmum · 10/12/2013 08:29

I don't hate Christmas as much as the fuss and pressure have two Dcs with autism and feel overwhelmed without this on top

Lottapianos · 10/12/2013 08:37

God no OP, its not just you. Never think that! I loathe it and would be thrilled if I never had to hear about it ever again. We don't put up a single decoration or card, don't go to work Xmas do, not doing gifts this year ( no DCs). If other people enjoy it then good for them but I can't stand the way its rammed down everyone's throat. We should form a support group OP!

ElleMcFearsome · 10/12/2013 08:49

I've stopped hating it.

DM taught me to be Xmas-averse by sliding slowly into undiagnosed SAD related depression from the middle of Nov when I was young. By Xmas Eve (sometimes a few days before) she'd have picked a massive fight with my DF and we'd have a miserable Xmas with my parents in pronounced not-speaking mode, which would usually last through until end Jan/mid Feb. Since having her depression dx'd (after I'd left home) she's been better.

I really didn't understand, in adulthood, why I got into such a panic pre-Xmas. Some excellent talking therapy a few years ago finally made it all click. Don't get me wrong, I always made a big effort for the DDs but underneath I was panicky and seething.

Nowadays, I actually take small quantities of pleasure in it. That said, we're v lucky as neither DH nor I have demanding DPs who expect us to be with them on the actual day and are pleased with us visiting at some point between Xmas and NY. I get the cards sorted by writing 10 per day for a week. DDs are more than old enough (15 and 18) to decorate the house and tree and think about and buy the presents they want to give. I've clamped down on the quite mad levels of present buying that we used to do (DDs, nephews and nieces get pressies, adults get a decent bottle of wine, DPs get books) DH and I give token gifts to each other.

I don't find lunch a hassle - it's just a poshed up roast and I can cook those Smile

I think the other thing that helped was just stopping that whole Woman & Home Xmas malarkey. I'm happy for those who wish to be ponce-tastic to have at it and have fun. I don't want to be, so I've stopped thinking I should be aiming for all that.

That said, I agree with PPs who have said every other year/every four years. That would suit me down to the ground!

comingintomyown · 10/12/2013 08:59

Growing up my Mum used to make a thing of Christmas and as she was quite disconnected the rest of the year I think I grew up liking Christmas

Then with young DC I really loved it and was lucky enough to have money and nice PILS

Now I am divorced and have all the taking in turns stuff with my teen DC and our break up happened over a December / Christmas when the festive season died for me and I still haven't really got the enjoyment I used to get back.

The plus side of that is I couldn't care less about being on my own on the 25th or not eating turkey but unfortunately it bothers everyone else especially my DC so I am going to a friends

Any real Christmas haters should google an article by Janice Turner in the Times a couple of weeks ago about why she hates it and described Christmas as a Bridezilla !

mrsjay · 10/12/2013 09:04

I am quite bah humbug too it is just something you have to do i do like the day its self i suppose but i get a bit Xmas Angry when i see people all jolly and christmassy it feels very forced to me, yes i know i am grinchy but i cant help it

UriGeller · 10/12/2013 09:15

You can take as much or as little of it as you want. Its not compulsory as the thousands of people who follow other faiths will testify.

I love the twinkly lights and the walking and that DP doesn't have to work, and the eating chocolate and drinking baileys for breakfast and the way the kids go daft. So I'll have that.

I hate the Christmas card bit (sending and receiving, what a pointless exercise!) visiting people I don't get on with. The fucking churchy bit where people get dressed up and sit like smug worthy gits in freezing church. Fake smiles and stupid buying frenzy and having a co-ordinated table for dinner so I don't do that.

Deep breaths and balance!

sashh · 10/12/2013 09:51

Well I don't celebrate it, but I do get pissed of with all the music and lights when I'm just trying to shop.

Another reason to go to Lidl.

I think Christopher Hitchins had it about right, it's like being transported to a totalitarian regime for a few weeks. You can't go anywhere without listening to the same music, all songs, music, media are about the great leader.

mrsjay · 10/12/2013 09:54

yeah i like all that too uri never had baileys for breakfast though might give that a go Grin

I am working at a kids Christmas party on thursday somebody mentioned gleefully santa hats for us i had a bit of a face on me

ElleMcFearsome · 10/12/2013 10:51

sashh That's a fab analogy Grin

TheArmadillo · 10/12/2013 11:13

I like it but we don't go over the top and I don't see the point in making stress for myself.

I like cooking so we do a turkey roast dinner at lunch and as no one can manage pudding after, we do pudding for dinner. That's all the special food we get. And leftovers keep us going for the next few days with little effort.

We make presents for adults and buy stuff for the kids. We have cut down the present list a lot over the years and tend to do it in bits over November and December.

Xmas day is laid back. No one comes over till lunchtime so kids open presents and laze about in the morning and we laze about again when everyone goes home in the evening.

And I don't do Xmas cards. I only tend to watch pre recorded telly so miss the adverts, and listen to mp3s while wandering around shops so don't hear the music. Am also quite oblivious in general so most of it passes me by.

It's difficult to do a relaxed Xmas though if your friends and relations can't/won't go along with it.

higgle · 10/12/2013 11:19

From my point of view YABU. What's not to like? shed loads of lovely cards through your letterbox with updates from old friends, lots of chocky and booze, feasting, merrymaking and for me having my two lovely grown up sons home who will do all the baking and only expect a visit from Santa and for us to turn off the telly and play party games on two days out of the week. You can split up the extra work into bit sized chunks, buy the presents bit by bit through the year and get everything ready done from M&S on the food front, but it really is the high point of the year for me.

sandfrog · 10/12/2013 11:30

Depends what you don't like about it really.

LickingMyWounds · 10/12/2013 11:34

I pretty much have the xmas I want every year, which is at home with DH and kids. All family are seen on Xmas Eve and Boxing Day. Which means I spend Xmas Day with the arse about who said what on Xmas Eve and all Xmas Day dreading Boxing Day. lol actually yep 27th December is fab.

joydivisionovengloves · 10/12/2013 11:53

I think it should be every four years, like the World Cup. I'm not a fan.

ephemeralfairy · 10/12/2013 12:10

I am not keen. I find the whole 'happy families' thing very hard as my mum and I have suffered a number of bereavements and our 'family' is just the two of us.

One/both of us usually ends up crying on the day.

Ephiny · 10/12/2013 12:17

I don't hate Christmas, but I wish we could get over this thing of it being an obligatory celebration. It's such a shame to see people going through unnecessary stress and family conflicts and feeling they have to spend money they can't afford etc. Fine for those who enjoy it to do it, but why does it have to be forced on everyone else?

For me it's not an issue. I don't have children, I don't really watch television, and rarely go into shops - and also don't care much what anyone thinks of me - so it's quite easy for me to just not participate in it at all if I don't want to. Which I usually don't.

Lottapianos · 10/12/2013 12:23

sashh, that sums it up perfectly! I'm looking forward to sharing that with DP tonight, he hates the whole thing even more than I do Grin

sashh · 10/12/2013 15:29

Those who like the analogy, there are some videos of the late Christopher Hitchens outlining it much better than my version.

wasabipeanut · 10/12/2013 15:43

I like the holiday part but it comes at the expense of a huge amount of hassle in the run up. I hate writing cards, wrapping etc. Our office looks like Santas grotto and I don't like the clutter. The school have lots of different festive plays/services/fayre etc. and I have children in diff years so. 2 x costumes, dates to remember etc. and the kids are exhausted and over excited. I fucking hate craft so all there Christmas craft jolly projects do nothing for me other than make more mess to clean up.

We don't go OTT and I enjoy the day itself but I do breathe a sigh of relief in January. Some friends were saying what
a sad month Jan was, anti climax etc. I bloody love it.

fay144 · 10/12/2013 16:06

I love Christmas - I think at this time of year you really need some sparkly lights to distract you from the fact that it's dark at 3pm.

I can understand why some people hate it (though surely no one would really prefer the darkest months of the year to be unbroken by an excuse for a holiday?).

But what I don't understand is the people who hate it, but continue to go through the motions, when they have no kids who are expecting it. My in-laws hate it. Fair enough. But rather than just ignore it, they go all out with the baking, cooking, and following every tradition, complaining about it every step of the way. I don't get it - if I was them, I'd just ignore it and spend the day doing something I enjoyed.

Lottapianos · 10/12/2013 16:29

I think we should keep the double bank holiday on 25 and 26 but just call it a midwinter bank holiday. Treat Christmas like all other religious festivals like Eid, Diwali, Hanukkah - celebrate it if you want but equally feel free to ignore it. Stop the orgy of commercialism everywhere you turn

susiedaisy · 10/12/2013 16:42

Yanbu I don't like Xmas and resent being made to feel that I should be buying this and doing that etc etc it's become so food and money orientated it just feels wrong. Can't wait until about jan 5th when it's all done and dusted and everyone's back to work and school.

Orangesarenottheonlyfruit · 10/12/2013 16:57

YANBU every year I fell utterly and completely overwhelmed by Christmas. It is hugely stressful and expensive and I resent the pressure to make the entire month about this one day.

TBH I'd actually quite enjoy the day itself IF it was just eating a roast and watching some telly, with a nice church service and some jolly carols but it hasn't been like that for years. Too many family members needing seeing/ taxing / feeding etc

I think partly it is because it starts to early each year with all the effing teacher presents, Christmas cards and bloody Christmas cake (which i don't even bloody like but faithfully make each year).

Cannot bloody wait for January!

fatlazymummy · 10/12/2013 17:02

I hate the music in shops. I hate the fact that the shops are really busy. I hate those little square christmas cards that the kids bring home from school. I hate all the tinselly tat.
I do make an effort for the sake of my family, and I expect I will enjoy Christmas day.If I was alone though I wouldn't bother celebrating it at all. I have simplified it over the last few years - fewer presents, less food ,etc. I just don't get the same sense of excitement that I used to when my kids were younger.

somewheresomehow · 10/12/2013 17:04

If I didn't live with mr misery guts I would probably love it but he has the knack of bringing everything down to his miserable scrooge level. I sometimes wish he would piss off for a month and I could have fun with the kids well adults now