AIBU thinking like i do

[clio51]

How come when people ask you where you live and have a car they ask to be dropped off!!!!

After suffering another bout of anxiety/depression I've just started getting myself out and about again. I've recently started a card making group and one of the ladies asked where I lived near to the end of the session she turned and said "you'll drop Ann of won't you" aghhh what am I supposed to say NO that's not me I felt my anxiety rise. Again last week Ann said to me "can I pinch a lift" errr yes!! I hate this but can't say no.
Tomorrow is the Xmas bit of a lunch there Ann asked was I going!
I'm not a horrible person just somebody that as anxiety issues, and hate being looked at because I have a car I will drop them off. This is really putting me off going but I like it there and enjoy it when my anxiety isn't to high.
Just recently I've been going to an anxiety management group and one of the ladies there knew me and she also asked for a lift home
What is it with me have I got it tattooed on my head!

I'm I unreasonable thinking like this

Is it the driving that makes you anxious? Otherwise I dobt quite get the problem?

Unless it's that people are rude to ask and you don't feel assertive enough to say no?

YANBU, could you invent somewhere you need to go straight after the group? That way you could say "no, sorry, I'm going to the supermarket" or wherever.

Easier than just saying no!

I don't have anxiety issues and I think it's down right rude of people to offer lifts on my behalf.

YANBU.

You have to get savvy 'I'm popping to a friend's, sorry'; 'I've got to go pick up a lawnmower [or bulky item], sorry', 'It's not convenient, I am doing x, y, z after and it's the opposite direction'...just keep saying you can't and after a while 'I am in the habit now of doing chores after, sorry'...

They are being rude (well, the first one assuming you would drop her pal off certainly is - the second was just asking) - in either case it's perfectly all right to say no. I do appreciate your anxiety might make it difficult, but really you are not being unreasonable to say 'sorry, I can't do that'.

The danger of making an excuse along the lines of 'no, I'm doing x' is that the persistent or thick skinned person will invite themselves along to 'x' anyway.

YANBU, giving lifts makes me anxious as I love the time after an occasion and feel I need it to regroup and gather myself. I am an anxious person if I don't have alone time regularly and completely understand

You don't have to say where you are going first, just 'I'm sorry, I'm not going straight home' will suffice.

Fill up your car with a load of boxes and stuff. Then point sadly at it.

Is this your trigger? Living with an anxiety disorder is very difficult (I am speaking as a sufferer). I understand it's really difficult to say no but I agree with the other posters invent a reason not to do it, eventually they will get the hint. Then work on saying no & being a bit more assertive. Take small steps do you don't feel over whelmed.

"Sorry I can't today"

Repeat

They'll stop asking

Hope you feel better

Clio - practice saying no here and then when you have to do it IRL you will be used to it.

No it's nothing to do with the driving, I think it's just I'd never dream of asking somebody for a lift. (but that's me) and especially on the second week of starting there.

Thanks for the advice will really try to put it into practice, did try last week said I was going to shops Ann said that's ok the shops will do!
Like you say will have to think of somewhere before hand. Really hate being put on the spot. Nearly all the ladies have been going for years!
There's only myself and another lady that are new.