OK. DD (18) has been on a residential 6th form since leaving school. This was engineered by her DF (my ex H) after he left for OW just before DD's GCSE's - his way of relieving his guilt was to throw money at the situation. She boards which is what costs, not the course itself. He pays her residential fees.
The first year I managed to get her into a local 6th form which offered the exact same course but she remained at home with me. I strongly felt that :
- She was in no way ready to effectively leave home at 16, only months after her DF left.
- The course was attractive to her for one reason only - it had associations with a very famous and Premier League football club.
- We would have to sell the family home in order for her DF to fund it and I was not in a position to buy another house at that stage.
At the end of the first year at the local school (which she did brilliantly at) her DF and DD arranged without my knowledge for her to go to the residential college which meant boarding and repeating the first year all over again. It was a done deal and I rolled with it.
House had to be sold very quickly and at a loss. She is now 6 months until the end of this course and hates the course, hates being away from home, has developed an anxiety disorder, and has repeatedly said she wants to come home. We've weathered it, I've always said she can come home if that's what she wants. BUT. She actually has had enough and wants to leave the course NOW, without completing it. She doesn't want to go to Uni (fine by me) she wants to get a job.
I've said this:
Finish the course, it's 6 months to go and you'll have a qualification which could get you into uni if you change your mind, or which makes you more competitive with other YP's who are also job hunting. Otherwise you have wasted almost 3 years of your time with nothing to show. Your DF must have considered the possibility that this might happen and it was his choice to pay the (non refundable) fees.
OR - yes leave, but not before you have secured yourself a job back here so you can support yourself and contribute something toward your keep.
OR - ask the college if they'll let you distance study and come home, finish the course and get a part-time job to give yourself spending money etc.
She seems to think I'm being unreasonable and I'm having a go at her. I think that many sacrifices were made to give her what she thought was a dream opportunity. I can't even contemplate what her DF is going to make of this but I can imagine. So - am I? Can anyone offer feedback or suggestions as to where we go from here?
TIA and so sorry it was long.