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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed with dh....

9 replies

Clarella · 09/12/2013 12:19

honestly don't know if aibu!

lo one tomorrow. we had a birthday party yesterday for friends bad dh roped his parents into it too - which has been very helpful as lo has had an ear/ chest infection and I've been knackered plus house was a tip. but my parents not there nor my sister who is crazy about lo. then dh invited his bro and partner and their lo too. all fine - it was lovely. they're having xmas with us too - all we're doing for my family is a one day visit.

I'd persuaded dh to take today off to spend the day together the three of us as he can't be off tomorrow for los actual birthday. I'd booked baby music session tickets for the three of us and we were to go to an art gallery first (baltic - to get some cool books for lo b'day/ xmas) then the sage for the music session which lo has attended for 3 months and loves. I thought nice to share with daddy.

however dh took lo out with parents fir a nap, has been gone ages, now says are having coffee, has roped them into coming to Baltic and sage in a bit and I generally feel the whole point of the day has gone.

but should I just let dh have his fun as it's 'his day off' ? he already reckons I'm getting at him where all I wanted was an intimate family day together.

aibu ?

OP posts:

ViviPru · 09/12/2013 12:23

I'm not really following precisely why you think the point of the day has gone? Is it because you wanted it just to be the 3 of you and not include your PILs?

Mrswellyboot · 09/12/2013 12:26

I get you totally and I would be upset but I think he is just proud of your child and wants parents involved. Try not to get in a row about it though or it will really spoil the day.

I have to really spell stuff out to my dh over stuff like this.

Beamur · 09/12/2013 12:27

I mean this in the nicest way and not to get at you either - but the whole day out is all about how you wanted it to be and maybe your DH would like something less planned and a bit more laid back on his day off. My DH would run a mile from a baby music session however much DD might have liked it.
Put your feet up, have a cuppa and go with the flow for the day.
Happy Birthday to you lo for tomorrow!
YAB a tiny bit U.

PuggyMum · 09/12/2013 12:28

I think yab a bit u.

While I understand you might want to spend the day just the 3 of you, your dh is happy to have family around too.

These are memories your pil will treasure and they won't be here forever.

My sil won't let her parents do the '1st' with her lo. They wanted to take her on the train but not allowed until sil has done it first.

Try to go with the flow a bit more or you'll end up bit enjoying the day at all!

Misfitless · 09/12/2013 12:29

It would be in-laws overload for me. I would be pissed off tbh. UANBU.

Mrswellyboot · 09/12/2013 12:32

I think it is more a case that the op dh had a loads of family time with his side all weekend and op wanted to have a special day on their own. You can't be totally at ease with his extended family as you can as a couple and she feels her family are missing out. I wouldn't like it.

I would organise sometime with your sister and family for early new year.

CoffeeTea103 · 09/12/2013 12:33

A bit of both. Yanbu to have at least a few hours just the three of you. I guess the first birthday is just a little more special for parents.
Yab bit unreasonable in that it should be only 3 for the whole day. The pil seem to love spending time, I'm sure your dc loves it too. Rather just look at how many people you have happy to be around.

Original poster

Clarella · 09/12/2013 21:53

thanks I agree, a bit of both. I was venting as it's one of a loooooong string of similar events I know know to be part of the 'being a man' thing. it's totally in laws over load, but unplanned inlaws overload which happens a lot and often is his way of not having to do so much stuff (eg tidying etc) as his mum does it - and dh was moaning to me last week that we never spend time together (me n him or all 3 of us) which was the original point of it all. I was able to point it out and spell it out (I find that really hard to do actually) and he apologised and we had a good day. (they decided not to come anyway)

what I PROBABLY should have written about more is dhs ongoing weird obsession with lo and my bf and lo's eating/ nutrition which is totally bonkers but has verged on ea at times. again today he literally yanked a dozing, waking after long nap, getting-over-ear-infection baby off my boob 10 mins before we had to leave for the music thing (forgetting we now have teeth) and desperately searched for some food for him (lo been off food due to infection) resulting in a biscuit, all that could be practically mustered before we went. (I'd packed a lunch for lo to have either when we got there of afterwards - he had it afterwards in the end)

the last time I read out what I thought was interesting nutritional facts about bf in the second year (vitamins, protein etc) it resulted in a row where he said I should be feeding once in the evening and he was going to tell lo when he grew up that the reason he's so small was cos his mummy bf him too much.

OP posts:

Mrswellyboot · 09/12/2013 23:14

Oh clarella that is hard going. Life is hard enough without that type of criticism and pulling child off. I can't believe someone would do that. So rude, and sore!

Sometimes it takes something very small to put things into context. You need to spell it out to him. He is to stop worrying about lo that your gp Etc is very happy. end of! Maybe even talk to his mother if you need to.

Is he jealous of the baby ? Very strange. Hope you're ok.

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