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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think "excuse me" isn't that hard to say?

20 replies

ChasedByBees · 09/12/2013 09:05

Why have people stopped saying 'excuse me'?

I've noticed recently that people will squeeeeeeeze past me, avoiding eye contact and making far more body contact than necessary rather than just ask me politely to budge.

Surely it's nicer to look at someone, smile and say 'excuse me please'. DH has noticed it too so I don't think it's just my magnetic personality and devastatingly good looks.

OP posts:

BerniceBroadside · 09/12/2013 09:13

I don't know, but they've also stopped saying please and thank you.

I'll just flatten myself against a wall to let past all twenty of you walking in pairs whilst completely ignoring me, you tossers. Next time one of you is going in the road, pensioner or not.

treas · 09/12/2013 09:15

People actually say "excuse me" a lot, what they don't say is "excuse me please".

Sorry, my pet grieve is that people demand rather than request getting by others.

ARealPickle · 09/12/2013 09:17

I think it can be a lack of assertiveness or self confidence.

chocoluvva · 09/12/2013 09:18

I sympathise with your annoyance. And I agree - many an elderly person is as guilty of squeezing past/not saying thankyou as younger people. Sometimes I feel like saying loudly, "You're welcome" in my most charming passive aggressive voice.

Original poster

ChasedByBees · 09/12/2013 09:26

I think it can be a lack of self confidence (judging by how awkward people look when I stand my ground and stare directly at them) but what I don't understand is how a simple polite request can be more awkward than the rather intense physical contact they seem to force? Grr.

And yes to being expected to leap into a bush or a road because others can't acknowledge your presence. Pah.

OP posts:

formerbabe · 09/12/2013 09:29

I always say 'excuse me' and most people seem in such a world of their own that they don't hear so I keep repeating it, then I just get fed up and squeeze past.

Another thing I have noticed is that people will see they are in your way and instead of moving, wait for you to say excuse me, seemingly to prove some sort of point..I personally just move anyway.

tinselkitty · 09/12/2013 09:29

I don't say excuse me please. I do say 'I'm sorry can I squeeze past'. I save excuse me for when people are being rude and ignoring me, said in a slightly passive aggressive way :)

I still think I'm being polite though

BerniceBroadside · 09/12/2013 09:32

I'm pretty sure it's mostly a case of being rude and entitled rather than lacking self confidence.

I 'you're welcome'd a group this morning and they just looked at me blankly. Clearly they thought small tesco had started employing door openers. And obviously one doesn't need to thank servants!

vladthedisorganised · 09/12/2013 09:38

Me too tinselkitty. I find if I just say "excuse me" most people think I'm wanting to tell them something, rather than wanting them to move out of the way.

I'm quite socially awkward so it usually comes out as "Excuse me, would you mind very much if I just squeezed past you, please?" Followed by furious blushing and wondering if I should have just waited for them to finish their conversation rather than inconveniencing them by, you know, existing...

TheGinLushMinion · 09/12/2013 09:40

YANBU, it really isn't hard to say.

Cleorapter · 09/12/2013 09:41

This sounds like me.

I hate it when people just squeeze past. I do not like being touched by -anyone- strangers.

Cleorapter · 09/12/2013 09:42

Ahh strike through fail anyone

TheHeadlessLadyofCannock · 09/12/2013 09:46

I hate it on buses when the person next to me signals that they'd like me to move to let them off by getting up and sort of hovering, silently, until I twig (or take my nose out of my book), then stomps past also silently.

Makes me feel sad.

I make a point of looking at the person, smiling and saying 'Excuse me please' and then 'Thanks'. Unless they just shift their legs sideways instead of moving properly, in which case I try to stand on their feet and jostle their legs as much as possible as I exit.

Bigbrassband · 09/12/2013 09:50

The people who stand and stare at the back of your head, until you magically notice their presence, are the ones that get my goat! How the hell am I supposed to know they are there if they don't open their mouths and say something? Twats.

echt · 09/12/2013 09:55

With treas on this. I've lived in Australia for more than 7 years, and I'm still not used to the universal "excuse me" that sounds like an instruction rather than an apology.

Fucking rude.

LambinsideaDuckinsideaTrout · 09/12/2013 10:01

I am very guilty of saying 'You're welcome' in a loud passive aggressive way.

YANBU.

KungFuBustle · 09/12/2013 10:02

Yanbu.

I have a dreamer of a DS. You might think we're in Tesco, but in fact we're in Minecraft land. I keep him close, warn him of approaching people, he knows to say excuse me please. Doesn't' stop people barging past him with bloody baskets hanging off their arm! ( if I spot them coming I make sure he moves in advance)

Hilariously some ASD children don't have a social filter and I will smirk when a 10 year old says "Well that was rude, why don't people say excuse me, mum? Is it because I'm smaller then them?"

TheHeadlessLadyofCannock · 09/12/2013 10:30

I like the sound of those 10-year-olds, KungFu (sorry, not quite sure if you meant your son or a group of ASD children you know).

Original poster

ChasedByBees · 09/12/2013 13:06

Formerbabe - hmm, I am a bit deaf, maybe I am actually just being a complete arse.

I will move out of the way if I see someone coming, it's just when they invade my personal space as the first interaction that I get annoyed.

OP posts:

chocoluvva · 09/12/2013 13:20

On the other hand, sometimes people (me included) apologise for being in the way in response to saying 'Excuse me please' which makes me feel bad. Though I do then say, 'That's alright.'

Someone on another thread commented that supermarkets seem to bring out the worst in people - perhaps they bring out people's true character!

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