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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to piss in a potty...

46 replies

trufflesnuffler · 09/12/2013 00:46

Ok so I haven't done this but I'm a night Pee'r, sometimes 2/3 times in one night. I drink alot of water. I can no longer be arsed getting out of bed, putting dressing gown on, opening door quietly so not to wake anyone, creeping down hallway, putting light on to lowest dimmer setting so don't feel like having anal smear done, and then repeating in reverse. I want a potty to pee in or an adult nappy. Anyone else sick of having to do ninja-pees?

OP posts:
reelingaroundthechristmastree · 09/12/2013 01:09

Yup, me too.
The gazunder, not the nappy.

Mind you I have never had an anal smear so I don't get that bit!

Bogeyface · 09/12/2013 01:16

My sister has no kids, a DH who often works nights and a downstairs bathroom in a large house. The gazunder is her friend! Mum saw a posh ceramic one in a charity shop and bought it for her to replace the bucket she had been using!

ShylaMcClaus · 09/12/2013 01:16

Can you not just stumble out of bed naked, pee and get back to sleep?

Bogeyface · 09/12/2013 01:17

Should add, I dont get the anal smear thing either, or why the lighting level is relevant to that! :o

reelingaroundthechristmastree · 09/12/2013 01:18

Downstairs bathrooms are the pits.

We had one at my Mum's, bloody nightmare when I was young.

flyingspaghettimonster · 09/12/2013 01:18

I have a pot to piss in. My husband thinks I am gross but I need to pee often and I wake up too much going downstairs. I keep wet wipes by it. Remember not that long ago it was perfectly normal.

ShylaMcClaus · 09/12/2013 01:18

Me neither. What is an anal smear and the appropriate lighting conditions and should we all be getting them?

Bogeyface · 09/12/2013 01:19

Shyla she could.

Where she would pee is another issue entirely, we could be into "he peed in the wardrobe" territory :o

TrucksAndDinosaurs · 09/12/2013 01:20

I have weed in a potty several times for demo purposes recently (am potty training DS) and its quite comfortable if you are reasonably flexible and tidy of arse but the average adult sized amount of wee in a toddler potty means you risk bum crack and flap splash back.

I'd get a chamber pot, from an antique store and try not to stub your toe on it in the dark.

ShylaMcClaus · 09/12/2013 01:20

Oh I see, Bogeyface - I think.

ShylaMcClaus · 09/12/2013 01:21

"Tidy of arse" Xmas Grin

Bogeyface · 09/12/2013 01:21

I have a pot to piss in Flying, my sister says this!

She says "Whatever happens, I will always be able to say that I do have a pot to piss in" :o

Bogeyface · 09/12/2013 01:23

WTF is "tidy of arse"?! :o

Are we talking size? Or the ability to not splatter a back bum explosion? Or peeing to target? I never knew I needed to know this until now! :o

80sMum · 09/12/2013 01:23

We had one under the bed in every bedroom when I was little. It was quite the norm back then.

Original poster
trufflesnuffler · 09/12/2013 01:29

Very glad to hear that this is something plausible! Naked stumbling not an option as have extended family living in attic and could lead to uncomfortable bump in the night!

Clarity on anal smear, swabs I had taken for IBD and Chrones, nothing to add to your own routine unless you're up for the thrill of it.

Think I'll start researching gazunders tomorrow. What do you recommend putting at the bottom to stop sloshing sounds waking light-sleeper DP?

OP posts:
TrucksAndDinosaurs · 09/12/2013 01:30

I would say all three bogey, haunch circumference that can fit on toddler potty, ability to fart without following through, pelvic floor control to wee on target and lock down midstream if the potty starts to get dangerously full. All whilst being observed by a crotch-clutching cross-legged cross toddler and probably half the neighbours through the windows as the potty is in the sitting room.

I do a lot of Pilates and barre exercises as post DS with his 98th centile head and a pregnancy in which I broke world records for carrot cake consumption there were a few years when my arse, and entire pelvic region were untidy in the extreme.

Original poster
trufflesnuffler · 09/12/2013 01:34

ooops forgot to say they had a VERY bright light on when working down there. I felt like a NE mining town by the time he finished.

OP posts:
Original poster
trufflesnuffler · 09/12/2013 01:38

Haha Trucks I just woke DP up laughing at your comment! Lucky neighbours!

OP posts:
reelingaroundthechristmastree · 09/12/2013 01:38

Well, I suppose it's best they can see what they are doing. Hmm

RealAleandOpenFires · 09/12/2013 03:52

litter tray anyone Blush?

ZingSweetPea · 09/12/2013 04:37

what about a bedpan?

paxtecum · 09/12/2013 06:54

Put the potty on the landing outside the bedroom door.

(Unless the DCs are likely to fall into it in the morning.)

girlywhirly · 09/12/2013 09:36

What about a commode disguised as a bedroom chair? Usually have a plastic pot which will hold a good quantity, comfy to sit on, seat lid goes down after to keep smells enclosed, ideal!

Original poster
trufflesnuffler · 09/12/2013 15:34

Cheers for the suggestions! For those of your who have stated they also avoid bathroom treks I have a few question. I'm worried that if I wake DP whilst piddling into a bathpan et al he will be totally grossed out! I can imagine the moonlight coming through highlighting my fat arse ass I squat down beside the bed!

I'm only thinking of this bathroom avoidance as I wake myself up so much going to the toilet that I struggle to get back to sleep. Light and difficult sleeper as it is! As for leaving it outside not an option as have 35 year old family member and his fiance living in our attic room temporarily and they have to walk past our room. That said, a footfull of my bladder juice would teach them for never doing any cleaning and slowing down my Internet with their constant downloading. Hmmmm maybe I could sneak a log in too Grin

OP posts:
AnotherWorld · 09/12/2013 15:38

YABU

Nothing anyone else has said will convince me otherwise. Drink less water, kick out your attic lodgers, wear bigger PJs. Do not buy a potty. Eek.