to be concerned about FB (sorry!) privacy settings for messages?

[LizzieVereker]

I need to contact someone that I haven't spoken to for a few months, and realised that I have an out of date, non-functioning phone no for them. The person in question contacted me a few days ago, and my DH said I would call back. Unfortunately my landline phone only stores the last few calls, and neither she nor my DH realised we didn't have her new number, and she is ex directory. (I'm wittering now, just to make the point that this person won't mind me contacting her). It's not really a problem, as she is local and I can pop a note through her door.

I had a brainwave to see if she's on FB, which she is, and her profile is v secure, so I couldn't send a friend request. It let me send her a message, but said it would go into her "other" folder, so she would not be notified of the msg. However it did give me the option of paying 66p to have the MSG put in her inbox.

My point (finally) is - should FB be allowed to let people do this? If someone clearly has tight security on their account surely people should not be able to pay to message them? What if I had been a stalker or harassing her?

I didn't know that - shocking. Have you tried googling her name, linkedin, etc?

I have, thank you though, and contacting this woman is not really a problem. I was just really surprised that you could be allowed to MSG someone that doesn't want msgs for a fee. Because even if they'd blocked a stalker, the stalker could soon message from a new account.

Yes they are allowed.

Facebook is a free service, and it needs funding somehow.

Unfortunately, you agree to all these terms and conditions when signing up. A person that is being stalked and really doesn't want any messages, despite how high their privacy settings are, shouldn't be on Facebook.

Moral of the story? Nothing is ever 100% online.

100% private online.* that should say

Facebook is a business.

Not your friend. Not a charity. Not a service to the people of the world.

If you're not paying for a service, then you are the commodity for sale.

I've never been given the option to pay

If someone was harassing her I assume she'd just block them - no messages at all then.

It's not like they can get personal details from sending a message, you can chose to delete without reading.

Fair enough - I certainly take your points that FB is a business. I was just a bit surprised that you could have your profile set to mega secure settings, and the any randomer could still message you! But you are quite right of course, nothing online is ever truly private.

I wonder if it's a new thing, phantom , I've never come across it before either.

You can send a letter to someone by looking them up in the phonebook. That also costs about 66p. If you don't want to be found you go ex directory and stay off Facebook. Simple.

YANBU though to think this could easily be abused.

I'm not in the phone book, I'm hidden on the electoral register. I use a pseudonym to be on Facebook simply because so many family members are on there but I'm sure someone could put two and two together. I'd prefer if no one could message me other than those with explicit permission

cailin you're spot on. I'm just sick of FB changing its terms every five minutes, but yes, privacy isn't a luxury afforded online

Try a couple of times. Sometimes it does this . I have had it happen a couple of times and though it weird. So I just tried to message again and it went through no trouble