I'm in tears writing this, I'm sorry if it doesn't make much sense :(
My boyfriend is my rock and I hate to see him hurting so much but I cant seem to think of what I can do to help him, I can talk and listen to what he has to say but he still beats himself up over it and as much as I tell him there was nothing he could of done hes never got full closure on what happened and it's like I'm the first person to listen to him everyone else has avoided the subject like it never happened.
He had a daughter that passed away in hospital an hour just after she was born, He wasn't allowed to go to her funeral and all the arrangements were kept from him due to the ex gf being upset and no one wanted to upset her even more, they split up when she said she was going to abort the baby but she kept it a secret from him, he found out when her Mum phoned my boyfriend to tell him she had gone into labour.
He blames himself for not being there during the pregnancy, he blames himself for not standing his ground and demanding to be there but at the time he was grieving and respecting the families wishes. (The ex was mentally unstable so he didn't want to cause her to do anything harmful to herself)
He said to be that I make him so happy and he feels like he doesn't deserve it because in his mind he thinks he doesn't deserve it because she passed away so young and its like a constant guilt he lives with that hes living and she isn't.
What do I do?
I talk to him all the time, we lay in bed at night and he talks about that day over and over like its constantly in his head, I know its eating away at him but I don't know what I can do about it, I lay there and tell him it isn't his fault and there was nothing he could of done to change whats happened but I feel like I'm repeating myself and I'm not actually helping at all.