AIBU to think that this friend should get some help and support?

[deadduck]

Bit of a long story, but I've been quite distressed about this, and it would be good to get some opinions. A good friend of ours, 63 years old, self-employed, business went under, lost house etc moved in with his dad whilst trying to restart business etc. Dad was very old and friend ended up being his full-term carer for the past 5 years or so. Received carer's allowance, but didn't really have much chance /opportunity for any other work. Dad died last month, aged 93. Will was written in the late 90s and never updated, dad had lost some of his mental capacity in the time that friend cared for him. House is left to friend and his two sisters, who both live abroad. The sisters not having bothered much with visits while dad was alive, but returned like a flash to sort out inheritance now want to sell the house as quickly as possible to get their share, and this will make the friend homeless which they don't seem too bothered about. The sale of the house will get them around £50000 each, so nowhere near enough to buy anywhere, and he's not able to get a mortgage. Is this possible, can they really make him move house if this is his home, and he's been their dad's carer? One of them offered for him to invest his share in her property abroad, in return for board which is a totally stupid idea in my eyes What are his options? Has he got any? He doesn't think so but I just can't believe that, given his age and lack of employment/income!

I do think they have the right....and if he gets 50 thousand then he could pay rent for many years to come with that....on a decent property.

And sad to say, it's not "his" home....it's also his sister's inheritance.

I was worried about that...but what if the money runs out and he can't pay the rent any more? He'd be in his late 60s/early 70s. Can he get a council house, or does having savings prevent him from that?
I am just so shocked by his sisters. One of them is now camping with him, planning to go back abroad after the house sale (which could be months), whilst she's never bothered to come and stay for any length of time while dad was alive, to relieve her brother for a bit. It's awful.

Having money in the bank wont stop him applying for a council house but unless hes got a disability he may wait years for one. If he went to them as homeless theyd want to see bank statements...then demand he rent privately...because council houses are for those in need....with money in the bank he is not.

Its awful in one wsy but not in another....yes he cared for his dad....but he gained years of not paying a mortgage...

I don't mean to be cheeky but if your friend's business hadn't gone under would he have bothered so much with his dad? It's only his home because his dad let him move in when he lost his house.

I'm much closer to my parents than my brother is. I live closer and do much more for them than he does but at the end of the day my parents will is split 50/50 which is only fair and to be honest I'd much rather my parents lived a long and happy life and spent all their money than us inheriting it anyway.

£50k is a hell of a lot of money and while I feel a little sympathy for your friend, this is what happens if wills aren't updated.

You're right about the will, Alberto, but that's what's happened, so can't be changed now. £50000 sounds a lot, but it's just a few years rent at best, what happens then, when he's 70 or so? Will the state look after him?

At 63 he could try to find work for a few years. Asda and b&q have a good rep for employing older people. However if push comes to shove the state will look after him. I'd advise him to be careful with that 50k too. Rent a small/cheap property. There are some older people who even house share. I had a 53 year old come to view my spare room when I advertised it.

The state will look after him of course they will. But Sprakly is right he could work....my Mum is 67 and works...she's a carer and says if she stopped shed get "old"

He could move out the area? There's plenty of places where 50k will get him a flat or a house in a deprived area.

Then he will shortly get his pension. In the meantime he can go on JSA in the hope he will get a job

Paying for a cheap flat is the best idea in my opinion as then he will always have somewhere to live

has your friend looked into sheltered accommodation instead of a council house.

why sheltered accommodation, fun? I don't think he needs looking after yet.

It's not an unfair situation. The father had every right to leave his assets equally between his children, and indeed it would be a far less equitable scenario if he'd favoured one child over the others.

I also think that these situations are not black and white: it's perfectly possible to put a different 'spin' on it depending on which perspective you're looking from

So, on the one hand you could say the friend was the one to invest time in caring for his father. But on the other hand he was gaining an enormous amount financially then- no mortgage to pay, reduced living costs because heating, food etc would be cheaper while sharing; whereas the sisters were funding their own lives.

Also what would the friend have done if he hadnt had his dad to help him out with housing when the business folded?

£50000 is certainly enough to rent somewhere for a good few years. Presumably a one bed flat would do? He's also not tied to a specific location now. That's easily enough to set himself up, and as others have said, he can look for work too

It's worth seeing a solicitor to see if he can challenge the will. I believe if there is an element of dependency on the part of your friend on his father (he was living in his house) then he might have a claim on the estate.

Sheltered accommodation because it will be cheap and he will never have to move again.