to think that if you choose to attend a church service.....

[Goldmandra]

....you should be willing to show some respect?

I've been to two services in the past 48 hours and at both I have marvelled at the rudeness of some parents.

Yesterday was DD2's school Christmas service in the town's abbey.

There was a group of about ten women seated a few rows in front of me who chatted and laughed all through the service. One of them allowed her pre-schooler to shout loudly and climb on the laps of the school children in the pews and they all remained seated and continued chatting when we were all asked to stand and sing carols.

Today I helped out at a Church Christmas workshop put on free by volunteers for local children.

Some parents stayed to supervise their own children which was great. After the craft activities we were all asked to sit together to listen to the vicar talking about the meaning of Christmas in a very child friendly way, say a prayer and, again, sing some carols.

A group of six mums refused to stop chatting and come to join us. They stayed at the table with their children and carried on chatting and laughing loudly even though they were asked very politely to stop because they were drowning out the vicar.

So why come to services like this if you don't want to participate? Why is it OK to be so rude?

I get that some people don't want to do religion at Christmas but if that's the case why do church based activities?

was it made clear before attending that there was a religious element to it?

Yes. The leaflets and emails couldn't have made it clearer that it was a church workshop. Also all but one of the children have attended a Christmas or Easter workshop before (rural village church).

TBH, whatever the content, if you take your child to a workshop run by volunteers you don't disrupt it by gossiping loudly at the back. if you disagree with the content you leave.

Then at the toddler Christmas party there was a play, during which we were told that if we didn't believe in Jesus we would go to hell! I'm a Christian, and I was horrified by it

What a terrible thing to say to anyone, never mind children! I'd have been horrified too.

If you have a disruptive child with you the ht gives you her death stare accross the room

I wonder what she'd have done to these disruptive parents

Younger children are welcome. As long as they are quiet. I've just dug out last weeks letter,.and it doesnt mention leaving them at home, I'm sure it used to but also said they were welcome if they were likely to be quiet.
I've confused myself now

And I agree, gossiping at the back in unacceptable regardless, just wondered if they were surprised by the content.

Maybe it fucks them off that the only opportunity they get to see their children participate in a community event is Christian-centred, even though it isn't a church school and the majority of families are not in fact religious?

That would be my guess. But yes, very rude of them.

just wondered if they were surprised by the content

Fair enough but no, they were just rude.

I know why they did it because TBH I didn't want to sit down and listen to why we shouldn't forget the real meaning of Christmas either. I'm a dyed-in-the-wool atheist but I had been asked to help out and my DCs were there. I therefore did what was asked of me and showed respect for the beliefs that were central to the workshop. I would have done the same in a gurdwara, mosque, Roman Catholic church, etc.

It boils down to basic manners wherever you are, most people can relate to wanting to curl up with embarrassment when our children don't behave as we want them too, but there's a difference between trying desparately to get them to be quiet and just carrying on not giving a damn about everyone else .
I've been at a formal dinner tonight where the majority of people have been drinking since the start of the Man Utd match. Everybody still stood quietly for Grace before the meal. A lack of a Christian faith isn't an excuse, I'm pagan and many of the people at the meal tonight are out & proud atheists, we still stood quietly out of respect.
YANBU.

Maybe it fucks them off that the only opportunity they get to see their children participate in a community event is Christian-centred

That is so far from the truth. The school has a service in the abbey twice a year. There are no religious services in school. Parents are invited to participate in or watch lots of events throughout the year both out in the wider community and in school. There are four I can think of in the next two weeks which are nothing to do with Christmas, one music, two sport and one drama plus two nights of a Christmas play and the usual party, disco, etc.

YANBU

Their behaviour was unbelievably rude. I am shocked that anyone is justifying it.

My 15month year old comes to mass with me. I bring books and quiet toys. If he starts shouting I take him out. I also ask my mum to shush if she starts talking to him during a quiet bit as he won't learn to be quiet in church if we keep talking too.

Another family who go there have a child the same age who they let run up and down the steps of the sanctuary repeatedly during the service. Their son is always on the verge of pulling the altar cloth off, or putting his hand into a candle and they make no effort to get him back until the Deacon intervenes to stop the toddler hurting himself.