To ask people to join me for a moan & just let it all out

[bubalou]

I feel very lucky. I do have a good life but things are just a bit rubbish at the moment. I am fully aware there are millions of people much worse off but that aside does anyone want to unload and just let it all out?

My 6 year old little dog just died of non Hodgkin's lymphoma. She was so unique and beautiful and I miss her so much.

My nan has terminal cancer. She is only in her 60s and has been in constant pain and discomfort for over a year now. Even though she's made it to another Xmas we are all reminded it might be her last.

I currently know so many people with cancer. Some have gone already - as young as 21, some are still fighting it. It just seems to be everywhere.

So - cancer can go and fuck itself!!!

Fuck cancer!!!

so sorry ... big hugs and hope you can enjoy xmas ... i know how you feel

Thank you both for replying.

So sorry about your mum

I just wanted somewhere to rant. It seems like there's big things and then all the smaller things adding up too.

I also know it's ridiculous being so upset about a dog when there's people in my life that are unwell but it was so unexpected and I've never had a dog before. I've not handled it well at all.

Cancer just seems to be everywhere, even our pets aren't safe from it.

I know life has ups and downs but it's so hard when you can't protect those you love. My poor family have hAd enough over the years.

My dog died 8 months ago and i still cry for him and miss him so mc.It is not silly at all,i put up the xmas tree and found a little tuft of his fur that was stuck in a branch and my heart broke again!
Cancer is the scariest thing,Ive lost close family to it and cant even read a magazine story if its about someone with cancer because it hurts too much to read someone elses pain and relate to it.

Thank you limitededition.

I had obviously thought it would be awful when they passed away but just wasn't prepared. She's been gone almost 3 weeks and I'm still breaking down regularly. We still have 1 dog left and he misses her so much which doesn't help.

She was so unique. Our little miracle. She was deaf from birth as she was an all white jr with just a few spots on her ears. We live on a main road and our gate blew done without us knowing and she escaped when she was about 3 and got hit by a car.

The vets told us to prepare for the worst. She had black all over her from where the bumper hit her. When he managed to X-ray her he couldn't believe it - not 1 broken bone. She had a collapsed lung which they fixed but he called her a miracle. With the cancer she was in remission and we were so happy but she got unwell and it spread to her liver. There was nothing we could do.

We feel so lucky to have had her, we just wish her life wasn't cut so short.

My dog had kidney failure but with him being elderly at 14 we couldnt put him through treatment,he wouldnt have coped.Even though we knew it was time i still found myself thinking " did i do the right thing?'sounds daft but he was like my best friend,so loyal and definately MY dog.I wish I could have that time with him again,cant face even contemplating getting another dog because I really just want him back.Arent I soft?I had been crying for a week before because I could see him getting worse and I just wanted it not to be true.People may think its strange but if you love someone its nature.

Youll find a lot of people will understand you,more than you realise.I went into work and people asked me what was wrong and so many people shared their stories about their pets and it was quite nice,conforting.

Thank you all. So sorry about all your pets and I completely understand the not getting another dog thing.

We have 1 left and although I don't want him to be lonely I don't want another dog - I want her.

I can't believe I won't see her again. We have to collect her ashes from the vets this week. I don't know if that will be better as I will at least have her home if you know what I mean or worse because it will make it more real.

She was my first dog, we never had any as children. The day we went to see her and picked her up we found out we were pregnant with ds. It was like our family was all coming together and she grew up with him.

I don't know if I believe in it but 3 days after she passed my ds (5) told me that he saw her playing with nanny F in the park. (Nanny F died 2 years ago.) I don't know if he had a dream which is the most logical explanation but I like to think he saw them and that they are keeping each other company.

I am very sorry that you have had so much sadness recently, OP. Dogs are our most faithful, loving companions - giving constant affection and often demanding very little in return. It is no wonder you miss your dog so much and you should not feel that you have to minimise your grief. You need time to grieve for her and must allow yourself to feel sad for as long as it takes. Don't try to shake yourself out of it - grief is the inevitable consequence of having loved, and nothing at all to be ashamed of.

It is terrible when when one awful event is followed or accompanied by another, and you have had your Nan's illness to deal with as well. Cancer is very scary because it can make us feel that we have no control over our lives. It is terrible to hear that your Nan is in pain and discomfort, but she is lucky to have a sensitive and caring granddaughter like you. I'm sure your obvious love and concern are a great comfort to her.

You are going through a dark time, but things will improve - you have just hit a tough spot (for good reason) and it is temporarily making your whole outlook on life gloomy. My advice would be to grieve properly for your dog and then get another one - there is nothing like a bit of novelty and distraction to improve your spirits and the practical tasks of training a new puppy will offer just that, as well as providing another source of mutual affection.

Its good to vent

Your not been daft at all in regards to your dog , she was in your life for a long time so obviously you will miss her .
My Dear Uncles dog & my Dnans dog died a few years back and I miss them both dearly as they were such great characters nd part of the family .

Right bare with me as I need a bloody good rant as well

Fed up of been skint , Dp only working a handful of hours a blinking week and I can't take much more of not knowing .
Struggling to get anybody to stand up and take notice of my Ds and acknowledge his Suspected As/ADHD instead of just blaming my parenting skills and saying their is nothing wrong

Christmas is going to be horrid , just like it is every year , Ds gets to stressed , Dp works all day & I barely have enough money to buy a Chicken never mind a Turkey .

All six of my cats have fleas for a change , my house is falling down and I have Chronic Insomnia .

I agree, it's good to vent! Here's my shitty week rant...

On Wednesday I found out some news at work which at worst means I'm going to lose my job (probably in the new year) and at best means some massive changes in my responsibilities/work.

So now I need to decide whether I should panic and find a new job, or whether I should stick it out and "see what happens". It's crazy stressful.

Also, my husband's uncle borrow $40 recently (at the same time as us giving him a lift to a town 30mins away so he could collect meds), and then another $5 today. He doesn't work but I think he collects disability. He also smokes (relevant because he's feeding his addiction before paying us back). Given the job situation, plus medical bills we now have, my husband (and I) are feeling bitter about him basically using us... add to THAT he used to work for a company putting tyres on semi's etc so offered to help my husband do it to save us some money. It's been a week since they started doing it but because of him faffing off we're probably going to have to pay someone to do it for us because it's below freezing now (and going to snow tomorrow) and cold weather makes tyres harder to put on. I don't know how to tell someone that I don't want to alienate "please pay us back asap".

Thank you everyone.

So sad to hear of other peoples problems they are all going through.

People keep saying the old 'it will get better' 'she's in a better place' and I know all that but sometime you just want to be allowed to wallow. To moan. To whine and feel sorry for yourself without having to put on a brave face.

It's nice to be able to do that here.

Hey, you aren't being silly about your pet love. We had to have our dog put to sleep two years ago and I still cry about her now :( I miss her so much!
I would like to join you all, in moaning about this year in general. Its been utter shit.

MIL died, then DP's Uncle died a week and a half later. A very dear friend died two months ago and it absolutely devastated me. DP was hospitalised twice, and lost his job. Lots of people I know have also split up this year- very upsetting for all parties involved.
If we didnt have DD this year I think I would be curled up in a small ball by now

Oh, and my cousin is a fucking selfish COW.

Hugs to all and apologies for the pity party

Uncle in hospital too far away to visit easily. He's disorientated and confused and the medical staff don't know why. He is going in to theatre tomorrow for the third time in six weeks and will probably lose more of his foot. He is in a lot of pain. I managed to get to visit him last weekend and he thought he was in a hospital in a place where he hadn't lived since 1974. He has since got worse.

Fall out from that is potentially massive but keeping it unspecified on a public forum, huge stresses and no matter how far below the parapet I get I am going to be in the cross fire.

As no-one in the family live anywhere near the hospital I am running the switchboard, iyswim, and keeping everyone in contact. I keep finding people who were supposed to be told stuff by someone else but haven't and are now added on to the list of calls/emails/texts. Some refuse to acknowledge txts etc if other people are copied into them. Kissinger would give up with my family.

Father (lives with us) had a stroke at the end of September. He's recovering well. This is a miracle because he wasn't going to go to a&e until two days later when I went to the GP's reception and begged the GP to ring him, who was wonderful and got him there. He had one set of tests for bowel cancer postponed as his blood pressure was 200/93. He has three hospital visits cued up before Christmas. He is getting better but still very frail. He is also starting to confuse things but that is probably due to the vast quantities of whisky he necks. For a small, comparatively slim 82 yr old he can pack it away. We have five litres of Famous Grouse in the cupboard due to a good deal at Morrisons. It was six litres on Thursday and he hasn't drunk today due to the tests he will have tomorrow.

DH is not in a good place. He says he needs my company to keep him going.

DS has had the same virus/cold/yeurk since the end of October. He is not really ill enough to stay off school but it is making doing anything with him like swimming in treacle. He was falling asleep today twenty feet away from a brass band and I cancelled meeting up with a friend who is in a worse position emotionally with me and will have to make do with phone calls. I get out of the house two or three times a year, thank goodness places deliver.

Sincere sympathy and hugs to all of us wondering when the next bomb is going to drop.