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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Full nest syndrome

7 replies

Woollymooly · 07/12/2013 11:45

As opposite to the empty nest syndrome, I think I am suffering from a full nest one!

My daughter and her husband had moved in with us while they sorting themselves out after the uni/working abroad. They are both easy going and nice, not intrusive at all. But although we offered for them to stay, I cannot wait for them to move out! I also have a child of 13 and it just feels most of the time that there are too many people in the house!

Also, having lived away from home for 5 years, my daughter have kept her student habits of leaving dirty cups everywhere, stuff on the floor etc. In addition to my teenage child it is like having 3 teens living with me.

I find myself always tidying up after everyone, picking stuff up, reminding etc. and it is really exhausting!

I tried to talk to my daughter, but all she says - mum, I am trying, but I do not have time, I am applying for jobs (she is also working some evenings) and her husband is working full time.

I know it is only temporary, but I am surprised, that I feel so tired and resentful all the time! They both had very good degrees from a top university, and I kind of expected them to be sorted by now.

Am I been to selfish and unreasonable?

OP posts:
GaryTheTankEngine · 07/12/2013 11:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WilsonFrickett · 07/12/2013 11:51

Obviously the house is going to feel a bit stuffed with two extra adults in it! There's probably not much you can do about that. However the untidiness thing is outrageous. She does have time to pick up a coffee cup and take it to the sink/dishwasher, she just chooses not to.

Stern words are in order I think, and if that doesn't work then action. Like a chore list. Or only pick up after yourself for a couple of weeks. She'll soon come round when there are no clean cups...

expatinscotland · 07/12/2013 11:52

FFS at 'Don't have time.' Bullshit! Have a stern talk, they shape up FAST or they get a month's notice.

DejaVuAllOverAgain · 07/12/2013 11:55

If she lived in her own house she'd have to find time to pick up a cup and wash it so she can do it in your's. I agree with Wilson stern words are in order, including pointing out you're not her skivvy and she needs to show you some respect.

gamerchick · 07/12/2013 11:55

Time for some stern words. If they are not going to pull their weight then this arrangement isn't going to work and it may come to changing it.

gamerchick · 07/12/2013 11:55

Xposts

NotAnotherStuffedTurkey · 07/12/2013 11:59

Have they thought about how much time it will take to run their own place when they move out?

If she thinks she doesn't have time to pick up a few cups then how on earth will they manage to find the time to run their own home - paying bills, shopping, cleaning remembering to buy light bulbs and all the other little jobs that eat time?

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