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Original poster

to not know what to do about this guy at work

26 replies

ThingsThatGoHumpInTheNight · 06/12/2013 21:45

I recently moved desks at work and the bloke who sits next to me eats like an absolute pig. Chuffing and snorting and smacking his lips and yamming away ALL FUCKING DAY Angry It is giving me the absolute rage. Impolite eating is something I just cannot stand, it sets my teeth on edge! No issue with eating at desks though, as long as you can do it without sounding like a warthog Wink

I must admit I have had to really restrain myself from dirty looks/tutting and have had to resort to a walk around the office in occasion to get a break from it....what can I do to deal with it? I really dont think I can put up with it long term.

OP posts:
emsyj · 06/12/2013 21:47

I used to sit next to someone who did constant nose blowing, sniffing, snorting etc - literally all bloody day and it made me feel sick. I told HR and moved to a different desk.

NoisyDay · 06/12/2013 21:52

For six years I have worked with a noisy Minger.it is turning me into a raging maniac.Sometimes she wil even bring her stinking kedgeree over to my desk and chomp really loudly on it over my shoulder while blabbing on about some shite she read in a book.SIx years.i have no tips because I can't get it to stop either.

Original poster
ThingsThatGoHumpInTheNight · 06/12/2013 21:52

Hhm, that's an idea. I don't want to come across as a horrible moany bitch, but it is really stopping me from concentrating as it winds me up all day...

OP posts:
Original poster
ThingsThatGoHumpInTheNight · 06/12/2013 21:53

Oh my god noisy! I'd have to change job! It is making me so angry and stressed, no way I could put up with it for that long Sad

OP posts:
Shakey1500 · 06/12/2013 21:54

I utterly sympathise. I have posted here tons about my tea stirring a milllion times and yoghurt pot scraping colleagues. Drives me insane. I actually covertly stick my fingers in my ears whilst it's going on. Have to else I'm tempted to shove those fucking spoons where the sun don't shine. GRRR.

TheCrackFox · 06/12/2013 22:02

There is a person in the next office who sniffs every 4 seconds. I might bludgeon him to death with the stapler.

Snatchoo · 06/12/2013 22:06

You are obviously all more polite than me.

If any of my team were eating noisily I would tell them off. I can't bear it.

Mumof22222boys · 06/12/2013 22:08

I have been known on the tube to ask sniffers if they would like a tissue.

My old CEO was one with disgusting personal habits ranging from flossing his teeth over his key board, to licking mayo off his tie, to scratching his bits in public, to chomping his food noisily. His PA when proffered a plum stone said "that's disgusting!" She was made "redundant" soon after.

JackNoneReacher · 06/12/2013 22:10

Is he called Graham? (think I used to work with him, drove me insane)

manticlimactic · 06/12/2013 22:12

This is the most annoying thing ever. Someone next to me was eating exactly as you described and I couldn't keep the rage in. 'FFS I don't want to see your food in yer gob nor hear it'

bumperella · 06/12/2013 22:12

Ask your boss if you can move to a different desk. irritating colleagues are grim; also impossible to be nice to long-term which makes them miserable.... just get moved.

bumperella · 06/12/2013 22:14

Sniff...throat-cough...sniff....throat-cough....
Jeesh, if you sniffed less you'd have less phlegm in your throat to clear.

And STOP fecking HUMMING as you CHEW.

Original poster
ThingsThatGoHumpInTheNight · 06/12/2013 22:14

No, its not Graham Grin clearly there are a few people like this around, from the replies so far! I feel sort of vindicated actually, was worrying that I was being a total bitch.

Think I might have to say something to be honest. I might erupt eventually otherwise. How does 'Sorry, would you mind eating a bit more quietly?' sound?

OP posts:
HaveAstarterANDaPudding · 06/12/2013 22:20

Misophonia
I sometimes go and sit in the staff toilet to get away from the sound of my colleague breathing/lip smacking/licking/sniffing/eating
The rage. Oh God the rage!!!
Poor DH often gets the look too.

complexnumber · 06/12/2013 22:26

Would your job allow you to wear ear thingies to lessen your misery?

TBH I don't think a person habitually coughing or sniffing realises they are upsetting any one else

HaveAstarterANDaPudding · 06/12/2013 22:27

Oops forgot the link...
www.nytimes.com/2011/09/06/health/06annoy.html?_r=0

Tuhlulah · 06/12/2013 22:29

You will never be able to put up with this. You will have to find a way to move desks again.

whois · 06/12/2013 22:33

I have been known on the tube to ask sniffers if they would like a tissue

If I'm sniffing on the train it's because wine run out of tissues, I would love you if you offered me one!

Original poster
ThingsThatGoHumpInTheNight · 06/12/2013 22:34

I have tried listening to music through headphones but my role is quite complex and I can't concentrate enough with music on...also I think it looks a bit unprofessional/I feel rude Sad same with ear plugs

OP posts:
Original poster
ThingsThatGoHumpInTheNight · 06/12/2013 22:39

Thanks for the link pudding, Ive considered misophonia before (DHs eating sometimes annoys me) but I'm not sure it's that to be honest- I don't get it with many people. Just snorty snorty pigs Grin

OP posts:
SlimJiminy · 06/12/2013 22:43

I had that with someone from work too. No tips here either I'm afraid as I never discovered a way to address it. Had the rage for an entire year.

OH's eating gives me the same feeling of rage, but I'm happy to tell him to STFU and eat properly when he chomps, slurps and snorts. It's disgusting but nothing that can't be sorted by relentless nagging.

I appreciate you can't always get away with that in the workplace though... nope... still no tips! Sorry! But I feel your pain.

optimusic · 06/12/2013 23:11

We had a noisy, chomping, slurping, lip smacking, eating, drinking pig in work. It was horrendous. We tried the nice approaches, and just generally talked about stuff that pissed us off, which we all agreed human pigs did. He sat there oblivious and carried on. We raised it in staff meetings asking if we could have a radio on at lunch times. Told no.

Six months later, of listening to him daily, plus drinking elsewhere in the building and having a rotten time with neighbours who partied every night, I was tired and cranky. THe human pig started eating. I left the room, when I returned I came back with one of the ipads and put the music on. Mouth full of food, pig man said something about not having the music on because it will destroy his peace and quiet... Not my finest moment, and I snapped and told him the only bloody reason I had traipsed around the building to get the key to the ipad cupboard, was because I am pissed off listening to you putting farm animals to shame. For 2 years now, we have tried to be nice about it, but ffs, enough is enough. Strangely, he stopped with the noises. It's been 2 years now of peace.

So erm, no, I don't have any nice ways of telling him to stfu. But there is no way would I sit and say nothing for years.

hiddenhome · 06/12/2013 23:48

You can download some relaxing noises to your iPod rather than having music playing.

mirry2 · 06/12/2013 23:52

Where I work some people wear ear phones to block out chat and concentrate. Would this be solution for the op?

Lazysuzanne · 07/12/2013 01:26

ear plugs for the noise and a face mask to filter out the food smells food and saliva particles that he ejects?

Maybe some sanitised wipes for things that he's spluttered over?
Lavender or eucalyptus oil to cleanse the air?

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