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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect parents to keeping contageous children at home! Especially in the run up to xmas!

35 replies

Doubletroublemummy2 · 06/12/2013 17:28

My friend has children that attends the same school as mine and casually announced at the school gate yesterday that her child is poorly with hand, foot and mouth! Am I being unreasonable to feel totally justified, if my kids have hand foot and mouth over xmas, to go and burn down her Xmas tree!?

OP posts:
snooter · 06/12/2013 17:30

The problem is they will have been contagious before they had symptoms so it's not that simple!

raisah · 06/12/2013 17:33

Both mine have d & v and are both home until they are no longer contagious so you are not bu in wanting to burn down her tree.

Mim78 · 06/12/2013 17:35

Yes if serious illness not unreasonable. If just a cold they need to go into school.

Original poster
Doubletroublemummy2 · 06/12/2013 17:37

Must point out they are in nursery, only 3, Mum is SAHM.

OP posts:
schmalex · 06/12/2013 17:38

I think with hand, foot and mouth the advice is only to keep them at home if they have a fever. The contagious period is before the spots come up.

TheWitTank · 06/12/2013 17:45

YANBU if it is at all avoidable.
Was in the supermarket last night and a family were in the same aisle as my lot. They had two young boys in the trolley seats all bundled up in gloves, hats etc. The oldest asked to get out of the seat to which his mum replied "no you have to stay in here as you are poorly and it's really catching, we don't want others getting it. Keep you hat on so people don't look" (?!). Now, I know how sometimes we have to go out when sick -the world doesn't stop turning. However, with a family (mum and dad both there) could one not have stayed at home with the poorly child and the other gone to the shop? Save the child the trip and the rest of us from catching whatever "really catching" bug she was hiding? Yes, we are all exposed to various viruses and nasty bugs in daily life but I do think if you can avoid taking a really sick contagious child out then you should do so. I don't want sick kids over Xmas! (Watch now, Sod's law we all get something!).

EST0106 · 06/12/2013 17:47

My daughter had hand foot and mouth and I didn't keep her off nursery. Wasn't nursery policy, so in she went, she wasn't poorly in herself in anyway. I think d and v is different and I definitely would keep her off for that.

PrimalLass · 06/12/2013 17:51

www.hpa.org.uk/webc/HPAwebFile/HPAweb_C/1194947358374

No need to keep them home.

Original poster
Doubletroublemummy2 · 06/12/2013 21:44

www.nhs.uk/conditions/hand-foot-and-mouth-disease/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Keep them home while they are unwell

OP posts:
Original poster
Doubletroublemummy2 · 06/12/2013 21:47

I don't think I'd mind as much if Xmas wasn't looming, it's blooming stressfull enough with out sick kids, and hers will be better by then! Also poor kid is really unwell and struggling, soo tired poor thing.

OP posts:
BigBirthdayGloom · 06/12/2013 21:48

Yanbu. Don't get me started on people who say "they were only sick once so I sent them in". Clever sickness bug I'd say.

GossipWitch · 06/12/2013 21:53

My entire family, myself included, have been ill recently, as some irresponsible twerp sent her child in with diarrhoea, and had even asked the teacher if she should let her child swim the next day, as he was a bit loose. The next day at 5 am in the morning my little 5 year old was pooping through the eye of a needle and vomiting, cue 3 days off school weekend included, 3 days later it was ds 2's turn then a day after that ds3 and dp and then finally me 2 days later, all because someone didn't keep their kid off school. And I ranted about it soooo much.

Showy · 06/12/2013 21:53

With hand foot and mouth, there's no need to keep them at home unless they are unwell with it and this advice is for that child's benefit and nothing to do with other people catching it.

But in general I do agree with you. Normal coughs and colds, things like hand foot and mouth etc fine but children with contagious illnesses which actually pose a risk to other people should be kept at home where possible.

goldenlula · 06/12/2013 22:29

I can not see your link but when I was looking up hand foot and mouth a few weeks ago, it stated on the NHS website that they only needed to be kept at home if they were unwell with it or if the individual setting said to (differs from school to school or nursery etc). I ended up keeping ds2 home with it for 2 days (the Friday then the Monday) but he only had the rash on his hands and feet, no other symptoms at all and when I took him to the dr he said it was an allergic reaction, another dr a week later said excema, so in truth I have no idea what he had. I do know it looked nothing like the hf&m we had 2 years ago. He still has the marks from it now, some 4 weeks later. So maybe with that illness yabu, with d&v and cp etc then no, children should stay home.

Original poster
Doubletroublemummy2 · 07/12/2013 12:55

But the poor kid is unwell, and my kids could be equally poorly, and with one with a heart murmer and epilepsy ( which is triggered by fever) I feel she could have kept hers home for a couple of days.

OP posts:
Original poster
Doubletroublemummy2 · 07/12/2013 12:56

Or at least warned people before exposing them to her ill child

OP posts:
SoonToBeSix · 07/12/2013 13:37

Yabu in this instance as it is not a serious illness.

grumpyoldbat · 07/12/2013 14:10

On the general principal yanbu. I hate it when people go against advice and knowingly put people at risk of infection because they decide it's worth the risk. Of course it is to them, it's not their health their risking. So not their decision to make.

However in this instance tab a bit U as the official advice is to send the children as normal.

EvilRingahBitch · 07/12/2013 14:17

If they're well enough to go to school with HFM then they should go to school. If she's being mean and sending a really poorly kid in then that's wrong on both fronts. But it's probably too late for that to effect your DC.

EvilRingahBitch · 07/12/2013 14:17

Oops, "affect"

fryingpantoface · 07/12/2013 14:25

DS has chicken pox. He got it because someone sent their kid to nursery with chicken pox. The nursery leader told me when I called up to explain he wouldn't be coming in. So I've had a week (so far) of hellish chicken pox while heavily pregnant and supposed to be resting, because some selfish git of a parent didn't want to take the time off work to be with their kid.

So YANBU to think contagious sickness - Stay at home.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 07/12/2013 14:41

I've got three kids. What am I supposed to do when just one of them is ill but the other two aren't? Keep them all at home because one of them can't leave the house? The other two still need to go to school and I'm not quite prepared to send the 5 year-old on his own just yet.

It's not always as black and white as you make out, OP.

EvilRingahBitch · 07/12/2013 14:50

To be fair frying, unless your DS was on holiday for the previous 2 weeks you don't definitely know that he was infected due to the other parent's selfishness - he might well have caught it already. But the principle is correct, outbreaks will stop quicker if quarantine precautions are observed, even if there is an element of stable door closing.

fryingpantoface · 07/12/2013 15:14

That's true.

It's just rubbish

BettyFlour · 07/12/2013 16:06

YANBU

DS had HFM last year and was screaming in pain during the night for 4 nights. And didn't eat for 5 days. It was hell . I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

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