I really don't want to go on works do tonight

[Lottie4]

No idea where to post this, so hopefully here okay.

A couple of weeks ago I felt like a work colleague was constantly having ago at me, things have eased and things back to normal. Anyway, we're going out tonight and someone normally kindly offers me a lift, no-one has this time and I didn't like to ask. Hubby won't be home in time for me to have the car, so it looks like I will have to get the bus on my own and perhaps bus/taxi back. Asked one of the girls, and it sounds like they've got themselves sorted and there's not room in either car for an extra one. If I don't arrive with the others, they will probably just sit down and not think to save me a seat, in which case I will have to sit with another department with no one I really know.

Hubby has a lot on his mind at the moment, so would just tell him I didn't fancy going. The only problem is tonight was the only night he could see a friend before Christmas and as I'm going out, he's not.

I'm probably been sensitive, but just feel a bit upset, I don't want to go as I'll feel out of place, but if I don't go I will feel bad as hubby could have gone out later.

Can you not contact DH and tell him your not going so he can try to arrange to see his friend?

Or just ask your colleagues to save you a seat?

Honestly I would make my excuses and not go.

I can't stand the endless small talk and crappy 'banter' of the forced interaction otherwise known as a works do.

But I'm a grumpy unsociable mare...

Your DH still has time to sort it out, surely?

If you don't want to go to the works do then don't. No one will mind. I think I'm going to bail on my own tonight, not because there are issues like yours but just because I'm tired and crotchety - which is a good enough reason.

Thanks for your reply. I can phone him, but my husband is not allowed to make outside calls unless an emergency and can't have his mobile phone on until he's left the grounds. I've left work now, so haven't got contact numbers.

Am going to go and have a bath and wash my hair. Might feel better about it all then. If not, thinking about telling hubby I don't feel 100% (which is true as I'm feeling a bit sensitive and upset) and am thinking about not going out. He now has a late appointment, so probably isn't going to be home at decent time to then go back out, but it'll give him time to think.

YANBU. Works Christmas dos are hideous. I bailed out of mine this year. Don't go, if you don't want to.

Could you ask your colleagues to save you a seat? I bet they would, and I bet they would be upset if they knew how you were feeling.

Don't not go out because you're feeling a bit fed up. You might have a lovely time and come away feeling much better. You might be overthinking your colleagues' behaviour: the person whom you feel is having a go at you might be like that with everybody, and the transport arrangements might have been made without realising that you weren't included, if you didn't specifically state that you wanted a lift.

Please go!