Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

to serve the same 'meal' everyday to dd2?

18 replies

pregnantpause · 06/12/2013 12:59

She won't eat anything in the evening I do a family meal and she can eat it or leave it, which means 90% of the time she leaves it.

So, to avoid her being without food everyday at lunch I give her what she's guaranteed to eat- a slice of bread and butter, three tomatoes, four chunks of cucumber, a lump of cheese and a banana. Mil has just realized that I do this, as she was VERY stressed that I don't give extra options at tea, apparently it's cruel and I should cook her a separate pasta or soup. She says that as I give her what she wants at lunch there's no point sticking to my guns at dinner (though I never ask what she wants I just plate it and give it). Aibu to carry on as is or is mil right- inconsistency will teach dd nothing?

OP posts:

Gileswithachainsaw · 06/12/2013 13:03

How old is she. ? Is she just holding out for the bread and butter do you think?

If she has genuine food issues I would continue to give her what she will eat and make sure there's always the option to try what you are having and make sure it's not a focus of the evening don't wen mention it.

If she's being a stubborn little madam on purpose I'd serve one meal and if she doesn't eat it she goes without and just remove plate without mentioning it or acknowledging any attempt to argue :o

greenfolder · 06/12/2013 13:06

good god- what you are doing is fine! the last thing you want to become is a short order cook.

now littlest dd is at school, and has school dinners and a packed tea, i offer her something like soup or sausages and beans in a can- she calls it her "hot tea" but this is because the rest of us like to eat later.

with the older 2, they knew what was for tea- if they didnt want it, they made themselves more or less what you described. i did not consult on what they would like, unless it was their birthday!

Butterytoast · 06/12/2013 13:06

I think I'd go further than you have and vary lunches. I wouldn't offer alternatives at dinner time like mil suggests- your house isn't a cafe. I'd have normal snacks (fruit/rice cakes etc) when you would usually have a snack.

My ds has decided he doesn't like any veg (he does and happily eats them for the childminder) so if he doesn't at least try his veg he doesn't get a yoghurt.

superzero · 06/12/2013 13:07

I had a fussy eater and at his worst,although I did not make anything special I adapted what the family was eating so he would eat a bit and the basic diet ended up very much like your DDs with carbs/cheese/raw veg for every meal.
Since starting school he has tried a few more things,it improved with time.
I made sure he had a vitamin tablet every day to make up for the narrow diet but they are recommended anyway up to 5.
So,no,YABU but someone will probably say you need to be firmer and make her try stuff or cook special things for her.

blackandwhiteandredallover · 06/12/2013 13:08

There is nothing wrong with what you are giving her for lunch though- and to be honest most people have the same thing every day for lunch, or variations on the same thing. My 3yo DD2 is currently eating a ham sandwich- the same lunch she had yesterday!

It sounds like you're doing fine, don't stress.

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 06/12/2013 13:08

In mine you eat what you or given, sounds like yours, the only alternatives are a ham sandwich or a dippy egg and soldiers. Cats, kids, adults, whomever.

purplewithred · 06/12/2013 13:08

Do as I say, not as I did. Stick to your dinnertime guns. Respect.

NigellasLeftNostril · 06/12/2013 13:09

YANBU she has the option of the family meal and you are giving her something you know she will eat.
tell your MIL you are not a bloody short order cook.

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 06/12/2013 13:09

Forgot to say, so sounds like we agree so you can't be bu!!! Just tres normal x

superzero · 06/12/2013 13:10

Sorry mine was a YANBU!

Tapiocapearl · 06/12/2013 13:12

You are doing the right thing. Ignore MIL. Your DS can choose to eat the family meal if hungry.

I would start introducing one unusual item a day to her lunchbox.

pianodoodle · 06/12/2013 13:12

DD is 2 and eats and the most typical lunch is raw veg, some bits of cheese, maybe some toast or crackers and yoghurt or fruit for after.

She'll eat raw peppers and carrots I think that's great personally long may it last

Plus it's nice and easy to prepare :)

Original poster

pregnantpause · 06/12/2013 13:22

She's only 2, hoping that she'll grow out of it. I will just carry on then, she's at the table now stuffing tomatoes into her mouth like sweets
Oddly it's the bread and butter she's most likely to leave, but she's not holding out for what she likes, if I give her something she doesn't like for lunch she won't eat it, and then she will happily not eat dinner later in the day. She can, and has more than once, got by a whole day on her breakfast porridge and a banana.

OP posts:

Gileswithachainsaw · 06/12/2013 13:23

2 ? That explains it. They can live off fresh air and gravel at that age :o

WilsonFrickett · 06/12/2013 13:28

I too would add one different item to her lunch, just to get her used to the idea that lunch can vary, and I would put one or two of her 'safe' items on her dinner plate - maybe the tomatoes or cucumber, not anything you need to 'cook'. That way hopefully she will start to enjoy eating with the family at night iyswim and start to associate that as being a good thing to do. So basically, what you're doing but extending it a tiny bit.

Definitely do not go down the alternative dinner route. Rod. Back. Yours.

greenfolder · 06/12/2013 13:53

fresh air and gravel- so true!

so much worry- before you know it they are teens and you are hiding food in the boot of the car to stop it all disappearing!

NigellasLeftNostril · 06/12/2013 13:59

oooh now there's a plan greenfolder....

Gileswithachainsaw · 06/12/2013 14:00

Don't tell me that green :o

Flip