To think we don't have to bring everything down to the lowest common denominator

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It seems that if anybody complains about their lot in life, whether it is a teacher talking about excessive workload, or somebody worried about being in negative equity, or somebody struggling with childcare costs, or somebody finding it hard to get by on certain benefits, or somebody going on strike because their pension deal has suddenly got much worse, the default response is "you've got it much better than X, stop complaining". AIBU to think this is how the governments get away with maintaining the power and wealth of a tiny elite whilst constantly attacking the living standards of the majority? Get the majority sniping at each other, and criticising anybody who seeks to improve things for a particular group, and you get a perfect divide and rule situation where people don't focus on the real cause of problems.

YANBU. Get them either sniping at each other or a common 'enemy'.
Light blue touch paper and retire to safe distance.

"If it matters to you, it matters."

I try to keep this in mind when the DC are whinging about something completely inconsequential too.

YANBU - in particular the demonization of people in receipt of benefits is despicable.
They turned the people against the people and then fucked them all over.

YANBU

I don't think we should tell people not to complain. But at the same time, it doesn't cost anything to acknowledge that other people have things worse.

If we want real solidarity, we should let people complain about their own issues -- but we should also open our eyes to the problems of others and have some perspective. It's a two-way street I think.

As an example -- I have a friend working in a university where all the TAs wanted to get together to protest their working conditions. Then apparently someone pointed out that they still are better off than the cleaners. So now they are trying to find a way to include the cleaners in their campaign. I think we need more of that.

Absolutely. There is always someone worse off.

Yanbu to an extent although when a PhD student I worked with complained about how the new house her parents were.paying for was smaller than her penthouse apartment.and might not fit her grand piano I did feel like she didn't live in the real world at all. Some people really should take their heads out of their arses and realise not having room for a grand piano isn't actually a problem.

"It hurts to stub your toe. It hurts more to break your toe. That does not mean the first person has not experienced pain themselves"

I read that on another forum, and I try to bear it in mind.

Crab theory

You put crabs in a bucket, if they work together they can get out, but they don't one starts to climb up and another pulls them down. no need for a lid.

YANBU to think we don't need to bring everything down to the lowest common denominator. I find it really quite pathetic how anyone who complains about anything remotely financial is attacked on MN unless they are on benefits.

But presumably the people on MN that do that aren't the government, so I don't think they can be blamed for some people being too small minded to see outside of their own situation.

I agree with you, though personally I find it helpful to have a reality check every so often! Some threads do make me think 'shut up your whining Lyndie' when actually my life is pretty good.

YANBU

I also get annoyed when I express a care for someone's pay & conditions or opportunities and get the 'it doesn't affect you does it?' or 'would you want to pay more tax eh?' argument, as if we can only care about our own problems.

YANBU
It's also quite depressing when someone is having a legitimate whinge about their relative's appalling behaviour, and someone comes on and says "at least you still HAVE that relative, I wish mine was still alive". Sometimes that's just so inappropriate and unnecessary, especially when the OP's relative is demonstrating particularly vicious/toxic behaviours. :(

*YANBU

I don't think we should tell people not to complain. But at the same time, it doesn't cost anything to acknowledge that other people have things worse.

If we want real solidarity, we should let people complain about their own issues -- but we should also open our eyes to the problems of others and have some perspective. It's a two-way street I think.

As an example -- I have a friend working in a university where all the TAs wanted to get together to protest their working conditions. Then apparently someone pointed out that they still are better off than the cleaners. So now they are trying to find a way to include the cleaners in their campaign. I think we need more of that.*

Totally agree. Wasn't suggesting in my OP that everybody should just concentrate on their own little thing. My point is exactly what you've said: we should be making connections between the erosion of standards of living across society for lots of different groups and working together to fight it.

Oh God Thumb that pisses me right off.

So a poster should just let their piss poor excuse of a mother slap their kids, shit in their bed and dance naked in the garden because your (probably lovely) mother is dead?

YANBU Op. Shit is shit, regardless of the fact someone might be holding more than you.

YANBU. Everything's relative. My sweet cousin who works for the police says sometimes he wants to tear his hair when someone rings him distraught and wants his time about kids playing football too near his car, and he's in the middle of trying to deal with something utterly horrible like ABH against a child. But he reminds himself, in that person's world this is something threatening and upsetting and they need help too.

Also interesting this year to reflect how, when in a steady, well paid job I worried about money.... and now unemployed, with REAL money worries, I'd be ready to slap myself of eighteen months ago!

YANBU - this is exactly how governments work "divide and conquer" - get everyone turning in on themselves/each other and it diverts attention away from the massive £BN cock-ups they are making ALL the time

yanbu - politics of divide and conquer, and I think it is a deliberate ploy

Divide and rule innit.

Exactly Cardamom and Creamy - what we need to do is keep raising awareness, stick together and stay united against those Big Machines.

United we stand, Divided we fall