To be blase about Ds coming back from nursery with black eye?

[birdynumnums]

He was shoved up a wall very roughly by another boy this morning and then fell banging his face. I was called in to collect him. Child that did it was sat on a naughty chair when I walked in. Nursery apologetic and said child's parents would be called in to discuss incident. I was ok with this.

Family been over and have seen him (now developing into horrendous black eye) and think I should make complaint/pull from nursery. Whilst I am of course not happy, I just think these things happen with 2 and 3 year olds. My mum is livid stating I'm paying to have him beaten up (he has been pushed over a few times before but never anything like this).

Have I underreacted here? I remember my older son going through a phase where he really enjoyed scratching the faces of other children when he was 2. One of the other mums was furious and I felt mortified. It lasted 2 weeks and then was fine again. How would you have reacted?

If I felt it was a regular thing I would be asking the nursery to make it very clear exactly what they were doing to keep my child safe. However, having 5 kids, these things happen occasionally. It doesn;t sound as if it was sustained attack, in that he was pushed (once?) and fell. Boys parents have been informed, incident dealt with (although I have to say that I don't like "naughty chairs" and would probably have more of an issue with that than the rest tbh)

One off incident I wouldn't worry about. (Not if clear behaviour policy in place and implemented.) If it is a pattern then I'd have a huge issue. You mentioned DS being pushed over more than once. Occasionally? Weekly? Daily?

It sounds like the Nursery managed it appropriately. If it is just a 'one off' unfortunate incident and you are confident that the supervision and support for DS after the incident was good enough then I'd say you have nothing to worry about.
Is DS o.k or distressed? Is he generally happy at the nursery?

Justfor laughs, I think they actually refer to it as a thinking chair not a naughty chair come to think of it (remembering when DS1 was in trouble).

Yes, he is happy to go there but he is quite a timid little boy. It's always him that will be pushed around. I've seen it first hand. One little girl adores him but sometimes he finds her a bit much and tells her to go away. If he doesn't play with her, she will do things like squeeze his fingers. She is always taken away from him when she does this and sat on 'the' chair .

I have seen him shoved up a door before by a child (much younger than him). I was watching at the window just as he walked in and ended up banging it as the staff were settling in. But that is the only other incident in 1.5 years. He was being cuddled, being read to and laughing when I walked in to collect him today.

I think your reaction is fine and your family are being unreasonable. The whole things probably happened in a matter of moments. What would complaining and taking him out of the nursery achieve? I'm sure the staff were't stood cheering the other child on. I think its an occasion where we have to accept that these things happen in nursery. I'm sure staff would be very upset if a complaint were made against them.

I think you have a healthy attitude towards the situation. Kids have their faults and foibles and children need to learn to deal with their own and those of others in a same environment. The nursery seems proactive and caring. Action was proportionate and knowing your DS is being cared for and cuddled is brilliant.

You and your son sound very balanced to me; but I speak as the DM of a DS who went to play with a friend when he was 3 and had fallen onto a toy the day before - black eye just as you say - only to find when we got there that his friend had tripped up and fallen in the dining room, hitting the centre of his forehead on the (wooden, pointy) corner of a dining chair...and had a set of 2 beautiful shiners as a result .

My friend and I sat watching these two toddlers - with 3 black eyes between them - and speculating on what SS would make of it....

They're both 40 next year - but I can remember it as though it was last week......!

As it has happened before and when you witnessed it you had to knock on the window to get staff's attention I would worry that there was a lack of supervision in the nursery. I wouldn't go in all guns blazing but I would want to know how they can protect you child in future.