To make my DH have a surprise Christmas present?

[happycrimblechuckie]

My lovely DH is not quite as excited about the forthcoming event as I am and when I suggest getting him a surprise gift he keeps saying I am just wasting my money and can't i just buy the stuff he bought off EBAY today,
I could but that's boring and I love buying presents but I know he will not appreciate anything that isn't needed or practical, AiBU or am I just a bit childish and should I just get the misery something he has asked for and not another useless bit of tat, which I do tend to get. But who wouldn't want an emergency fancy dress outfit and a wooly jumper for your mug?!!

compromise and and get him a surprise that is also practical

Fill a stocking with small, amusing and vaguely practical gifts? Christmas toilet paper for example. Useful but won't hang around for long lol the usual tat.

Nothing wrong with wanting to get your dh a surprise rather than have your present buying dictated to you. I have the same issues with dh and his family every year.

However, it is usual to also think about what the recipient would like and buy that rather than something you like. And with the best will in the world a man who likes practical things is just not going to appreciate emergency fancy dress or a jumper for his mug is he?

let's turn the issue round - imagine your hoover broke. Your practical dh buys you a replacement for your present because he knows its needed. you'd be pretty pissed off and upset at his lack of thought and understanding about how he doesn't seem to know you wouldn't you? this is the same in reverse and I imagine he feels pretty frustrated that you buy him stuff he really doesn't like or want and which shows no thought about what he might like.

One of the things I was taught in management, was to treat people the way they like to be treated, not the way you want to treat them... the same goes for relationships. If he would rather choose his present then why do you feel the need to force your mystery unwanted present on him? Is it a control thing?

It makes me really anxious to receive presents that I don't want - I think of the waste of money, the strain on the environment, and I feel guilty about not being appreciative. If your DH doesn't want a surprise why would it give you pleasure to force something on him that he doesn't want?

I too hate getting presents that I don't want. What a waste, just because someone thinks it looks good. You'd be buying him a bit of misery. I hate all the Christmas tat.

How about something practical-what's your budget? A micro leatherman that can go on his keying? About £20ish & last forever & he might actually like it? On the other hand I am ecstatic if I get something unexpected that I actually like.

Thanks for all your replies, you know wht you have all made me think alot more about WHY I am buying him the tat, thankyou, I have paid off his paypal this morning for his boots and stuff from ebay, he was chuffed to bits and I will get my daughter the emergency fancy dress outfit, she will LOVE it!! Ta. Happy Crimble to you all!!

Wonderful. He'll also be surprised & grateful that you listened to him! Happy Christmas

Op I feel for you as I too love buying surprise presents. I compromise by buying 2 presents (or more) - one is a small surprise and the other is a practical present that I know the person will want. I also like buying 'silly' little presents for people to open at the table - eg false moustaches, false noses or masks. Everyone enjoys them, we take photos and it makes the meal more fun.