Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get frustrated at people looking down at me?

35 replies

DaddyIsHome · 05/12/2013 17:08

I dont know what peoples problem is, I know im a young dad and you can see i had a few facial peircings (Permanantly out now) and i have a few tattoos but why look at me with that look of im better than you or give me any less service in a shop? It is extremely frustrating, im a nice guy and like to think im a great dad. I just feel im judged for being young and dont think its right.

OP posts:
quirrelquarrel · 05/12/2013 18:09

Come off it, I bet the OP is not imagining things. We all know that young people get a bad rap in this country. Yes, people probably would react better to someone who's confident etc etc, but how much do we have to change before we get the respect we deserve in the first place? how long is a piece of string etc etc

Some people are stunningly rude to teenagers who haven't even opened their mouths to them. I think they just want an outlet tbh- and it's not fair.

SomethingkindaOod · 05/12/2013 18:38

Agree with quirrelquarrell a local FB page for our village news is chock full of posts assuming that all the bad things that happen here are the work of violent hooded local youths and that their parents are young feckless idiots drinking and doing drugs. This is despite clear evidence of a distinct lack of 'hoodies' and nobody actually knows any feckless parents...
There has even been talk of setting up a vigilante group and naming and shaming under 18's caught out after dark.
Many people do assume that young=bad at the moment and anybody 'different' (ie facial piercings/tattoos) must be up to something.
Walk into a shop like you own the place and could buy their entire stock OP, head high and a smile on your face.

Original poster
DaddyIsHome · 05/12/2013 18:45

QuirrelQuarell and SomethingkindaOod thanks guys, it seems as though all the bad that is done by teenagers is highlated daily yet nothing good is ever mentioned, so frustrating!

OP posts:
Chiggers · 05/12/2013 20:00

YANBU. People used to look down on me thinking I was a 15/16yo mum. In fact, I had this the other day with a woman thinking I was only 21yo. I asked her politely to pick her jaw off the floor when I told her that I was a few days off turning 36yo.

I also used to get store security following me around thinking I was some teenage shoplifter. They tend to back off when they realise that they're keeping an eye on wrong person.

TwoPeasOnePod · 05/12/2013 20:18

Hi op. I am young, covered in tattoos (think full sleeves, flesh tunnels in my ears, I dress less than conservatively-kind of edgy fifties style) and until I forced myself to be more confident,I felt similar to how you're feeling. I have three kids, people assume I don't work (I've had the same job for five years) I'm in the middle of buying a house (people assume I should be ' waiting for a council house'..not that there's anything wrong with that if I was..but.. I'm not)

I've had a friend (school Mum friend who I felt v close to) tell me that she thought she would meet middle class mummy friends but instead she met me Shock

Anyway, the fact is that anyone who negatively prejudges you isn't worth your time/worry/effort. It is invaluable to have and use intelligence, morals, manners, humour. Practise conveying calm confidence without a hint of arrogance. Show your DC that you transcend judgement and champion their right to be comfortable with who they are Smile

TwoPeasOnePod · 05/12/2013 20:22

And an invaluable quote- "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"- Eleanor Roosevelt

monicalewinski · 05/12/2013 20:37

I like that quote Peas, I shall remember that one.

JuneauWhoIAm · 05/12/2013 20:43

YY ccsays

I was buying a car, my DH, then DP was with me.
The sales man answered every question I asked to my husband, not me. My DH said at one stage 'you don't need to sell it to me Juneau is buying the car'
The salesman made some comment like he'd make sure he'd ask me about the colour. Wanker.
Needless to say we left.

Daddyishome whoever said smile more is right.
If you look like, oh shit everyone is following me and hating my appearance, you'll project that.
You made the choices to have tattoos. If you say you're as nice as you are then let that out and stop thinking of tattoos.

Don't worry, be happy. And be friendly!!
:)

BenNJerry · 05/12/2013 20:46

I look very young for my age. Recently I was in M&S with DS. A middle-aged woman said to me sounding shocked, "You don't look old enough to have a child!" I replied that I was 23. She said "Oh that's alright then, I thought you were only about 16."

"That's alright then!" Even if I was only 16 who's to say I'd be a rubbish mother! Judgments do happen, unfortunately. A colleague and friend of mine is 22 with a 3 year old, and she received the comment "That's not yours is it?" out with her DD in town.

JinglingRexManningDay · 05/12/2013 20:54

When I was 22 I had DD who was 5,DS who was just one year and had a six month bump. I was judged so much,more so because I only looked about 16.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page