To be absolutely disusted?!

[welshnat]

That a friend of a friend would comment on her ASD son's status - "Then I imagine that if you could prove you're normally a retarded paranoid mess who walks around in a bullet proof vest; that you could prove it wasn't therefore premeditated and possibly 2nd or 3rd degree instead! lol"

Am I wrong to be completely shocked that:

1. she would dare say it at all - let alone to her son
2. that she would put it on a completely public facebook page

It might be an private joke between them or something they've discussed previously. If it's her own son I wouldn't worry too much about it!

Has her son killed someone?

Oh come ON you know yanbu, however:

you KNOW her son is not ASD, don't be so sodding lazy. The person first, disability after

Plus-- is that a direct lift from her fb page?

It may be a private joke, but it is on a public page. And does that also mean that if it's a "joke" then it is not offensive to anybody else?

Sorry I meant to say has ASD, I really am not aware of the correct terminology. And yes it is a direct lift from his fb page. It was after a status with a random fact about it being illegal to murder somebody if you are wearing a bulletproof vest or something similar.

Sounds like an in joke to me, particularly as they appear to be referring to him committing murder....

Perhaps her son refers to himself like that, because she appears to be reflecting it back at him as a jokey defence for the 'crime'.

If he, as the subject, isn't bothered, and neither is his mum (obviously) then I'm not sure why you feel so affronted you had to post it.

Black humour is a well known way people deal with difficult situations, and personally I think whatever works for them is up to them.

Well it's up to them really. If she doesn't feel it offensive enough about her own son what do you expect to do?

'Murder' is always illegal, no?

I wouldn't mind if they joked about aspergers in general but to use that word I thought was disgusting.

It was in an American state and I think it was to do with murder/manslaughter. As in you can't claim manslaughter if you are wearing a bulletproof vest.

Are they american? If so then 'retard' seems to be 'ok' in a lot of american tv i have seen which shocks me but i get that they have different ideas on language. They use bastard aswell where it wouldnt be used in uk shows of the same type (i know bastard not the same as retard just making a point)

I think I cared more that she thought it was ok to put on a public website, obviously if her and her DS are fine with the word then it's none of my business.

No, not american. they are British.

Oh

Well then i'd think it not in too but i guess its between the two of them.

I'd delete her tbh. I wouldnt want to see talk like that either.

Not on

Not

Not in

What strange topic of conversation to be having with your son over fb?!

He like to post random facts on his status and that is what she decided to comment on this fact. I have now deleted my friend so that I will not see any more of her friends status's.

I don't really see what him having ASD has to do with it? If you find the word retarded offensive (which most people here do, but as pointed out upthread, it seems to be more acceptable in the US) then surely that is offensive whether or not he has ASD?

Because you would think that having a son with ASD, who may or may not have been called a retard (I know that my best friends brother who is autistic finds this very upsetting, and was actually bullied as a child because her brother was a "retard") would make her think twice about using the word. If not with her son but at least on fb.

is it public though? they might have security on there so only friends can see? I don't know.

it is stupid to say well I didnt mean to hurt anyone/ be involved in any bother if you are wearing a bulletproof vest. its not like when you pick your shirt in the morning lol

she used one wrong word (retard) shr didnt mention his asd so may have been talking generally (as in a defence for murder) rather than about him iyswim?

are they American or British?