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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being a prude?

34 replies

PerdiePrude · 05/12/2013 10:04

Before I go and challenge this in real life I would like MN to give me a modern day reality check.

I am saying the following not to be goady but to give the full picture so not accused of drip feeding later on.

My children go to a very middle class independent primary school. Great set of kids and fantastic teachers. The parents are a very friendly bunch who are all inclusive and chatty, a number of them do not have English as their first language and will chat to each other in their native tongue but if any English parents are around on their own will switch to English to include them in the conversation.

My dh and I do not swear - the strongest it gets in our house is bloody. Now I'm not naive to think that my kids do not know swearwords, and that they won't hear them.

However, the thing that is getting me wound up is a number of the parents are saying "fuck" on the sideline at matches a lot. This is said both in loud general conversations with each other, including when speaking in native tongue so the only English word in their sentence is a swear word, and also when chatting to others in English. A number of both first language English speakers and not will also say it when referring to the children although not directly at the children e.g. "fucking hell what are they playing at". None of them talk quitely, they are all loud speakers.

AIBP (prude) to think that language like that should not be said on the sidelines particularly when the children are under 10? I have always been very conservative with my language so feel free to tell me I just need to get into the 21st Century.

OP posts:
kinkyfuckery · 05/12/2013 11:53

YANBU, I swear like a trucker but try my hardest not to let anything slip in front of children (well, other people's children Blush)

SirChenjin · 05/12/2013 11:55

Oh you're not a massive knob - just a teeny, pathetically sized one.

You are inconsiderate and ignorant if you can't understand that not everyone wants to hear your swearing - but if you mix in circles that are generally ignorant then I can understand it might not be an issue for you.

SashaOfSiberia · 05/12/2013 11:57

Of course I swear at work! Benefit of owning the company, although it was never an issue previously. I don't think I've ever had a boss that didn't swear regularly. I don't go to church, or my equivalent. I certainly wouldn't ever address the queen as I wouldn't want to have contact with the old bag.

There are no situations where I consciously 'reign it in' as it's just part of my speech pattern, however I do apologise to people if in aware they've found it offensive. Swearing is as natural to me as it's unnatural to you.

curlew · 05/12/2013 12:02

YANBU about the swearing. YABU to think that there is any relevance to it being a private school.

MaidOfStars · 05/12/2013 13:29

Sasha Read what I wrote (or don't twist the words to suit). I don't doubt that you swear at work, I strongly doubt you swear during work presentations. Although you'll now deny that you do any presentations at work (just as you dismissed going to church and maybe speaking to the Queen) in a fashion that missed the point utterly.

In my opinion, being able to change speech patterns to fit the audience is a skill. It's not unnatural for me to swear at all, but it is unnatural for me to swear in certain situations. In fact, swearing when it's inappropriate just looks like childish defiance to me.

alemci · 05/12/2013 19:21

I wouldn't like it. started a new job and was quite shocked at the liberal use of the "f" word in certain offices or other places. I think people should to express themselves without resorting to swear words.

NCISaddict · 05/12/2013 19:28

There's a time and a place for everything and the touchline of a childrens' match is not the place for any form of swearing. Even my teenagers know that inappropriate use of swearing is the lowest form of intelligence and I would have a very low opinion of the intelligence of anyone who didn't realise it was offensive to the vast majority of people.

KrabbyPatty · 05/12/2013 19:32

YANBU. I would look down my nose on sweary types on the sidelines.

I am hugely sweary, but temper my language according to the company.

Nanny0gg · 05/12/2013 19:43

If English isn't their first language, do they appreciate what they are saying?

In my opinion, being able to change speech patterns to fit the audience is a skill. It's not unnatural for me to swear at all, but it is unnatural for me to swear in certain situations. In fact, swearing when it's inappropriate just looks like childish defiance to me.

I agree.

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