AIBU to be fed up with being the only organised person?

[CrapBag]

I am getting increasingly fed up with the amount of 'spoon feeding' I have to do with my friends mainly, although I tend to have to do it in the family as well.

I seem to be the only bloody person in my group that is capable of organising stuff without something going awry in the process. Then they all seem to come to me for information that has been given but they have inevitably lost along the way. I even get texts asking me for information that should come from the person they are asking about, eg someone wanted to know an address for another friend in the group, they didn't ask that person what their address was though, they asked ME (and I didn't even know). This is one example in an increasing list of examples. Other times they will have had the information they want, but have lost it somehow so they will come to me, because I am the only person who does seem to retain information or keep it written down and not lose it or accidently throw it away.

In my family, loads of people come to me asking what presents they should get for X, Y and Z. I don't mind when its for my kids as I know them best and what they would like, but most of the time, its for half the bloody family. If I just say I don't know, I know that person will end up with a crap thoughtless present.

Grrrrrrr. Its getting on my fecking nerves. AIBU?

Yanbu, try looking vague and thoughtful, practise saying sweetly, "Oh now you're asking, let me get back to you" but don't.

It's laziness or ineptitude on their part but they can do it if they try. If you raise this with them they'll look blank or try and convince you they're paying you a compliment, "Clever CrapBag!"

Not sure how to look vague and thoughtful via text but I can put what you said, although me not replying again with the information claiming to have forgotten would be odd in itself. Usually I am the only one in the group who actually bothers to reply and straight away so it would probably be noticed if I didn't.

I don't usually get a compliment, its the "oh you know what I am like, so scatty/ditzy/forgetful" etc. These people are adults who have got through life with jobs so I don't get it myself.

I don't know but please tell me how to be as organised as you!

crapbag sounds like you should be proud to be the organised one. if they didn't trust your judgment they would t ask you.

practise being a bit flaky. pm me for any tips as it comes easy to me.

I'm the only organised person in my family. I take care of my parents doctors appointments ffs amongst many other things. They are not ailing elderly people, they are barely fifty. My husband is just as bad. Do you have the balls to ask them for payment for your services? :D

You're the only one who replies and straight away - that, right there, is your problem.

As long as you reply more quickly than they can get the info themselves, they have no incentive to change.

That is a good point TheDoctrine but I have this compulsion really, if I get a text, I need to read it straight away then I have to reply as it just stays on my mind if I don't. Maybe I need to change this and they'll stop asking me. Although then I may end up with comments about why I haven't been replying.

I wouldn't have the first clue how to be flakeythebody , I'm guessing in the way that these people haven't the first clue how to organise themselves, although I suspect part of it is because they know someone else will take over/do it for them/fill them in on details (ie me) so they don't have to remember. They seem to function in their jobs so don't know what the problem is.

lovesbeinghereagain I don't know, get a diary and a calendar, make notes of everything as and when they are booked. Keep extensive books of lists to keep yourself in order and retain information when you're told. Also deal with school stuff as soon as you get home and get it that day. Job done.

Yes, as long as you d

Yes, as long as you do it for them, I don't think they'll stop. If they comment, tell them you're spending less time on your phone, it's a new year's resolution come early!

There's also nothing about your response that indicates you mind being the go to person.

Thank you, my new years resolution is to het my shit together. I'm not tge worst but not where near my best either. Two kids and working ft has cracked me.

You might like this blog

"Oh it'll be fine", meaning "I will just take advantage of more organised people who spent 3 days packing while I wafted about my house vaguely, gossiping on the phone."

Thanks, I did like that blog. And that quote is very funny, and true!!

Bat it back each time...

Have you searched your emails?

Have you asked Sally what her address is? surely she knows?

How the feck should I know? Why not ask them?

I once bet a table of people in a restaurant that I could get the full Premier League Football results from my mother via text faster than they could on their I-phones. And I won. My mother has all relevant train timetables to their town memorised as well. She probably knows my NHS and National Security numbers too. Why bother searching my filing cabinet or email archive when I can just ring a umber and say 'Muuu-uum, I need...'.

In other words, you have to wean them off the superb, free, speedy CrapBag information service they all like using so much. They won't start taking responsibility until you do. Invent a phone issue, or a crisis, that prevents you from being so available, then just never quite get back into the swing of it.

If that doesn't work, you will have to be ratty and start texting them to ask the other people concerned and not you.

Yep, think I am going to have to put it back to them, or not reply 'in time' so they have to go and find out for themselves. I'll soon get relied on less (hopefully).

Angela that's funny . Did you win anything?

If you are organised, people will rely on you. It does becoming annoying.

I log all appointments, events,birthdays in my phone and diary. Dh relies on me to know what is happening and when.

Kudos, CrapBag, lots of kudos. For me and my mother (who loved the story).

YANBU. I am sick of being SIL's PA. Not a year goes by that she doesn't text me asking for addresses and phone numbers of her relatives so that she can send Christmas and birthday greetings.

When it's DS's birthday, I receive his gift a few days in advance with the instructions to wrap it for her.

I should ignore, or do the same to her, but I just can't.