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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed?

26 replies

Mummytotwox · 04/12/2013 21:13

Me my BFF and an old mate are off out next week for a girly night out. We can't wait, haven't been out since June. Dh has got the night to himself as dc sleeping at aunties.

Just told BFF and old mate. Old mate has just said she wants to bring her boyfriend.

Aibu to not want her to bring him? I want some girly time without men :(

OP posts:
puntasticusername · 04/12/2013 21:30

Tell her that, then?

Not in a nasty way, just "it would be lovely to see you and your boyfriend together another time - maybe DH could come too! - but we arranged this as a girls' night and I'm really looking forward to catching up with just you and BFF"?

Original poster
Mummytotwox · 04/12/2013 21:32

Said that, but she's just said he will go on until she says yes. The way she's talking sounds like he could be coming :(

OP posts:
YeahButWhatIf · 04/12/2013 21:33

People still have BFFs?!

hoobypickypicky · 04/12/2013 21:38

I suppose you can only feel sorry for her that she has such a possessive, controlling, insecure and infantile boyfriend!

I think I'd be so pissed at the idea of being in the company of such a man I'd drop out of the arrangement and plan another with the friend who's more in tune with my way of thinking (but then I'm a cow like that!).

Original poster
Mummytotwox · 04/12/2013 21:40

Think is me and BFF (Lool I didn't know what to call her) has sorted out having no kids or ohs lol

OP posts:
whois · 04/12/2013 21:41

People still have BFFs?!

Aw, you might not call them that, but surely you have a friend who you would do anything for, love spending time with them and miss them when you don't see each other for a while? One friend who you like more than all your others?

puntasticusername · 04/12/2013 21:42

Oh, it's like that, is it?

In which case, the night out is possibly the least of her problems Sad

NicknameIncomplete · 04/12/2013 21:44

Just tell her you & your friend are having a girlie night & if she wants to have a night out with her oh then you can meet her another time.

You will have to be blunt.

CrockedPot · 04/12/2013 21:44

Just say it's a women only, catch up night. Why on earth would he want to come? Just say it straight, the boyfriend isn't invited! If you can't say it, she's not a close friend.

tudorqueen · 04/12/2013 22:11

Seriously, what normal bloke would want to go out on a girl's night out?

puntasticusername · 04/12/2013 22:14

He's probably "afraid" they'll spend all night talking about him if he's not there. Hmm

LindyHemming · 04/12/2013 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoleSorceress · 04/12/2013 22:42

Breast Feeding Friend?

Original poster
Mummytotwox · 04/12/2013 22:45

Best friend forever lol

OP posts:
LimitedEditionLady · 04/12/2013 22:53

Beastly frightening frog.

SoleSorceress · 04/12/2013 23:19

LOLZ HUNS

harriet247 · 04/12/2013 23:30

Burgh I have a friend whos boyfriend does this. Eveb little coffee dates and it is so.bloody.annoying. I cant help,only sympathise. Cant shake him!!

pigsDOfly · 04/12/2013 23:43

He's either incredibly controlling or is a pathetic drip with no life of his own, either way she needs to dump him.

How can you have a girls' night out with him sitting there? Can't see the point tbh. Might be a good idea to go into great detail about all your 'lady bit' problems and see if he can keep up and join in with that.

OneMillionScovilles · 05/12/2013 05:02

Said that, but she's just said he will go on until she says yes. The way she's talking sounds like he could be coming

Another one here who thinks maybe you need to be more direct.

Just tell her you & your friend are having a girlie night & if she wants to have a night out with her oh then you can meet her another time.

^^ This.

I have a good friend who I introduced to her OH - I'm very fond of him, but still wasn't thrilled when he went through a phase of turning up unannounced to our 'one on one' girlie nights, and he's a friend in his own right! I'd be seriously underimpressed in your shoes.

I had a chat about it with my friend and now we have separate couples/'just us' nights, no hard feelings - however, it may be more complicated if her OH is generally a bit controlling re. her social life Hmm

GoodnessKnows · 05/12/2013 05:17

It may be that it's HER who wants him to come with.

OneMillionScovilles · 05/12/2013 07:16

Maybe, Goodness - that's how the OP phrased it initially...

If so, you'd hope that when the suggestion wasn't exactly embraced, a good friend would understand that it wasn't the dynamic the OP was hoping for when they made plans and leave him at home!

YANBU OP

WooWooOwl · 05/12/2013 08:12

I'm another that think you should tell her it's girls only, and if she can't manage a night without him then she can go out with him, and you and your other friend will hope to see her next time.

It completely changes things when someone brings a partner to these types of nights out, and for me it would make it not worth going unless you change the plan and also invite other partners. But then it becomes a completely different night out, and maybe one you'd rather not spend the money on.

Justforlaughs · 05/12/2013 08:24

I think, more to the point, you should tell HIM that it's a girlie night and that he isn't welcome. If he does turn up there are ways of making it even more clear - how about a night at a male strip show? (even if you go in one door and out the other), night in a Gay Bar, a real "weepie" film, a spa day?? or just a pint over his head Grin

YeahButWhatIf · 05/12/2013 12:50

She has a Big Fat Fanny????

LimitedEditionLady · 05/12/2013 17:27

Brave fairy fighter

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