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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

& unsupportive?

13 replies

missshallot · 04/12/2013 19:51

Long post -sorry.

I don't post much on here (do a lot of lurking though Blush) but I've just had a stand up shouting match with OH over this & need some reassurance a good talking to that I'm right to hold the opinion I do.

We have 2 DS (20 months & 4 ) Every December we get together on a certain Sunday near his Grandad's home with my MIL's side of the family as they don't live close by & hence we don't see them at Xmas. This is a 3 hour drive from our house, we travel down with PIL & stay overnight. It is the same weekend every year & always organised well in advance. OH knows this. The meal is happening this Sunday.

OH has organised to be part of a team to do a 50 mile walk this weekend (Saturday) - not for charity, just because he wants to (it's an organised competition thing you pay to enter). It is taking place approx 2 hours drive from where we will be meeting up with his family.

I made it clear from the start that I thought it was a bad idea for him to try & do both things over the same weekend but he was adamant he wanted to do it.

I had agreed with OH that I would collect him from the friend's where he is staying on the Sunday morning & drive him back in time for the lunch, because I'm nice a mug.Tonight he has just informed me that this is going to be a 3 hour round trip Shock. Understandably I was not impressed & told him so. At this point he starts shouting at me to tell me I'm unsupportive, unhappy because it's "inconvenient" for me & basically suggesting I'm being selfish.

I now have to drive 3 hours on my own with DS's on the Saturday to stay overnight on my own with all his family before the lunch on Sunday ( I get on with them but don't feel that's the point), leave the children with PIL while I do another 3 hour drive to collect OH.

Am I wrong to have a problem with this? Confused

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 04/12/2013 19:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhoNickedMyName · 04/12/2013 19:59

YANBU.

Tell him you'll meet him there on Sunday - he can get the train.

gleekster · 04/12/2013 20:02

YANBU.
He likes walking for fun eh? let him walk it!

isme10 · 04/12/2013 20:11

YANBU he is. No contest nothing more to be said.

ChasedByBees · 04/12/2013 20:15

Hell no YANBU! Why the bloody hell did he think this is in anyway a good idea? It's his family he's letting down just as much as you. Can you unleash them on him?

CoffeeTea103 · 04/12/2013 20:22

Yanbu, he's the one being selfish to you and his family. Cheek of him to expect you to be his driver for the weekend.

cathpip · 04/12/2013 20:23

Yanbu, why your dh thought this was a good idea is beyond me. He is the one being selfish, I would be telling him that he does one or the other and he can make his own way. Anyway how's he going to walk 50 miles in one day, given the time of year, he best invest in a good head torch :)

Original poster
missshallot · 04/12/2013 20:24

I've already tried that ChasedByBees. His mum & dad both think it's crazy, but he won't listen because he is a stubborn arse.

It's not so much the travel to the family do or actually collecting him that I mind, it's his superior bloody attitude & the fact that if I tried to do something like this, he would think I'd lost my marbles.

Think he got the message earlier on tonight but is still labouring under the illusion that I'll be all grovelly & apologetic later (he's gone out now) - I won't Angry
Feel like a Wine but it's a 5:2 day today Sad probably why I'm more pissed off than usual about it Wink

Thanks for confirming my sanity though people. Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
missshallot · 04/12/2013 20:26

cathpip don't even go there - I've had it up to here about how difficult it's going to be (don't bloody do it then?) & all the various kit he needs.

OP posts:
Financeprincess · 04/12/2013 20:49

Selfish sod. He probably knows it too, but won't admit it. I'm with the others - let him organise his own travel.

Men can be terribly selfish about their own hobbies, so try not to take it too personally. I live my DH dearly but he often says things like, "why can't I just do what I want, when I want?" and "I want other people to be happy, as long as it doesn't affect me". I think it is something in their hormones!

Financeprincess · 04/12/2013 20:50

LOVE, not Live.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 04/12/2013 21:40

YANBU he is. Are you in the UK, he must be praying for mild conditions or is it a glorified pub crawl? Don't give in for a quiet life. The entrance fee to take part and the fuel to taxi him around, all added costs to an expensive time of year.

I'd be tempted to drop the whole trip but at least check first, see if FIL fancies going instead of you to fetch him.

waltermittymissus · 04/12/2013 21:44

What a prick!

Tell him either he cancels or you're not going on the weekend.

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