Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being PFB or would you be annoyed as well ?

19 replies

SeptemberFlowers · 04/12/2013 18:17

DC 1 is in Reception, fairly large school.

Had a few issues settling in but I told myself I was over reacting and see how it developed.

Today at pick up I was presented with a teary child who had a lump same size as a £2 coin right under her eye. I was told "We don't know how it happened, but put ice on it. She's been very tired today and quite whingy." I said ok then asked when it happened was told lunch time and "These things happen ! It gets so busy and manic we can't watch all the children." I just said ok again and picked up DC who wanted a cuddle.

As soon as we got to the car I asked what happened, DC has a speech delay but communicates enough in small doses. I only asked what happened and she burst into tears saying "Xx kicked me here (pointed to her shins) and hit me on my face. It really hurts." Sad

She's quite small for her age and quite passive and shy, after initial anger I told myself to calm down and think rationally and this stuff happens in play grounds.

However I'm a bit Angry at the "We can't watch all the children, it's so manic." comment. Surely they have duty of care at all times ? Playground accidents are fine but this sounds deliberate and I'm quite cross about this. I want to say something to the teacher but I'm also annoyed at them saying they don't know what happened, but I just asked her and she told me ? Did no one think to ask her in the afternoon ?

AIBU here and pfb ? Happy to be told I am, but still a bit Hmm at "we can't watch them."

OP posts:
YouStayClassySanDiego · 04/12/2013 18:20

I work in Reception and although I don't do lunch times I know that the Lunch time assistants would have brought a child to us with what you've described and the childcwould have been well cared for and any incident dealt with.

I certainly would never speak to a Parent the way you were spoken to either, that was badly managed , imo anyway.

littlewhitechristmasbag · 04/12/2013 18:21

In all honesty they really can't watch them all. Perhaps your DD was asked what happened but didn't say.

I would call the school tomorrow and explain what your DD told you then take it from there. It may have been an accident or it may have been done on purpose. The school will be aware if XX is a child who causes problems.

OnaPromise · 04/12/2013 18:22

I don't think yabu, I think you should speak to the school about it again. Poor dd, hope she is OK.

OpalTourmaline · 04/12/2013 18:30

I think they can't watch them at all times but you should let them know what happened now you know so they can follow up. Your dd may have been too upset to tell them at the time

JimmyCorkhill · 04/12/2013 18:31

You can always take a picture of her injuries and write a letter explaining what you were told at pick up and what your daughter later told you. This will have to be kept as a record (keep your own copy too). You can see the teacher again in the morning to verbally say what your daughter told you, but hand the letter in too.

Snog · 04/12/2013 18:43

Playtime is nearly always when bad shit happens at school and the level of supervision is clearly inadequate imo but yet typical Sad.
I would definitely follow this up though as others have suggested.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 04/12/2013 18:56

YANBU and not being pfb about it, if Xx is in her class she maybe felt intimidated and unable to tell teacher. Fill the teacher in on her account tomorrow, first thing.

Years' ago I had a similar conversation with a teacher, when DS was subdued. Heard some flannel about "code of honour" amongst schoolchildren, and not "dobbing classmates in"; more like if a quiet child gets picked on albeit momentarily, sometimes it scares the bejeezus out of them and it can be another trial admitting to being targeted, especially if the adult's default response is "Run away now, no tale telling".

Sirzy · 04/12/2013 19:00

It is impossible to watch children all the time and stop things happening. In an ideal world we could but with so many children and so few staff it will never happen.

The school told you as much as they knew, you can now give them a bit more information to help deal with it.

BigBirthdayGloom · 04/12/2013 19:05

You need to tell the school what dd told you. They may have dealt adequately with what they believed to be an accident but since it wasn't, it needs further work to sort it out and make sure your dd is safe. Not pfb. I'm a teacher and I would want to know and make sure it was properly dealt with.

Nanny0gg · 04/12/2013 19:29

It gets so busy and manic we can't watch all the children

I'd have an issue with that as well. There is no need for an infant playground to be 'manic'.

harriet247 · 04/12/2013 19:37

Yanbu-I would speak to the teacher and have a chat with dd about feeling confident enough to speak to her.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 04/12/2013 19:39

I would never say a playground was 'manic' when speaking to a parent. It gives the wrong impression even if true when discussing any problems.

Poor communication skills from whoever you spoke to.

harticus · 04/12/2013 19:42

"We can't watch all the children, it's so manic."

Our HT would hit the roof if any of her staff came out with this line.

YANBU - speak to them about it.

Fluffycloudland77 · 04/12/2013 19:49

They should have spent longer getting her side of the story.

I'd be furious too though.

Sirzy · 04/12/2013 19:53

Fluffy - she may simply not wanted to have told them though. My son was scratched in pre-school a few weeks back and no amount of prompting at the time would get him to tell who did it. But when back home with me a few hours later then he chose to mention who it was (and school weren't surprised when I told them who it was the next day)

YouStayClassySanDiego · 04/12/2013 19:56

Go in tomorrow and express your concern at the way your dc was treated and the manner in which you were spoken to at home time.

To me , you write as if there was a lack of concern and sympathy from the staff when explaining to you what happened to your dc.

I work in a school where teacher/parent relations are hugely important and communication is key.

Fakebook · 04/12/2013 20:05

Actually at reception stage I would expect them to keep an eye on them all the time. Last year when dd was in reception, they were all kept in their own small playground and were only allowed to venture into the bigger mixed playground after Christmas once they were a bit more confident.

That comment would piss me off too. If it was an older child it might seem plausible, but not for barely 4 year old children.

CrohnicallySick · 04/12/2013 21:11

Fake book- it really is impossible to keep an eye on all of the children all of the time. Even if you do keep the Reception children in their own playground (as in our school). As there is more space, the children scatter and you can't see all of them at the same time, even if there is one adult to 15 children, you can't even watch a specific 15 children as they won't all stay together. Added to that, if a child comes up and talks to you for any reason, things always seem to happen while you are talking to that one child.

OP, presumably your DD was too upset to communicate effectively with the teachers at the time, hence them not knowing how it happened. I would let them know what your DD said in the morning and they will be able to deal with it then.

Rufustherednosedreindeer · 04/12/2013 21:17

Agree completely withcrohnicallysick

Now you have further information and will be able to let the teacher know exactly what your daughter has told you

Hope it gets sorted

New posts on this thread. Refresh page