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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think she acted quite inappropriately towards DH?

44 replies

sallyanna2014 · 04/12/2013 17:45

Probably BU, but feeling quite irritated about this.

DD(5) started a dance class in September. It's been going well, everyone very nice, she enjoys herself. The niece of the main dance teacher often comes along to the class to help out. She takes the children into the foyer, beside the main hall, one on one,to help them practice any steps they are struggling with. I noticed that she seemed quite standoffish- I tried to speak to her a few times (just chit chat) but she more or less glared & blanked me. I wasn't particularly offended at this, as I know a lot of people tend to be shy & feel awkward about talking to people.

However, today DH was out early from work, and decided to come and meet us at dance class, as he hasn't seen DD at it yet. When DH got into the hall, I noticed he looked a bit red faced thought nothing of it

As we were leaving, I stayed behind to ask the dance teacher something and rummage in my bag. I could hear the niece laughing (don't think I've ever seen her crack a smile tbh) and as I got round the corner, I saw that she was talking to DH, who was holding DD's hand and trying to open the main doors. She then sort of threw herself against the doors in front of DH, very dramatically, arms outspread, and went 'oh no, you're not allowed out, you're not going anywhere" rattling the door knob as she did itHmm DH just looked pretty awkward and went 'right ok, see you then' to which she said 'oooh yes, YOU should bring DD more often' all in that jokey/flirty tone people do. This all in front of me and DD.

So we got out, and I went 'oh, do you know her then?' and DH (still very awkward) explained that she was a friend of his cousin, though he hadn't seen her in years. I laughed it off and said 'yeah, the way she was getting on I though she must be an old girlfriend' and DH said there'd been nothing like that, though when he'd initially came in to the hall, she'd been in the foyer, and said something like 'well I never thought I'd see that gorgeous face again'- which is why he'd turned a bit red (DH can be quite shy with women/being complimented) Hmm

Tbh, I wouldn't have cared if she was an old girlfriend- I'm not the paranoid type. However, now I've had time to think about it, I'm actually quite annoyed. She is technically an employee of the dance school, and I feel that her behaviour (given how unfriendly she is usually) was pretty over the top and unnecessary, particularly in front of my five year old DD. DH found it quite embarrassing, and I now feel quite uncomfortable going back. Oh, I checked DH cousin's FB, and sure enough, this woman is on it. Cousin has pics of me, DD and DH, so is bound to have known who I am beforehand. This leads me to think she has a bit of a crush on DH and is subsequently being unfriendly to me Confused just feel a bit Xmas Hmm about it all, and don;t want it to impact on DD dancing

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 04/12/2013 19:33

She probably did recognise you from FB and that's why she's off...

Nanny0gg · 04/12/2013 19:34

She probably did recognise you from FB and that's why she's off...

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot · 04/12/2013 19:34

^^That, you stole her man you evil harlot Grin

Mumsnet really needs a snigger emoticon.

AlistairSim · 04/12/2013 19:42

Go in next week walking like John Wayne with a neck covered in love bites.

That'll learn her.

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot · 04/12/2013 19:44

i like that Alistair, but i can imagine dance despo, going to DH to tell him Sally's been cheating with a vampire with a libido like a randy dog.

sallyanna2014 · 04/12/2013 19:45

I need to text DH cousin at some point anyway, about what to get her DD for Christmas- very tempted to ask her about dance desperado now! She has a way with words, would be funny to hear her take on it...

OP posts:
sallyanna2014 · 04/12/2013 19:47

Alistair Grin GrinGrin

OP posts:
Jux · 04/12/2013 20:08

TBH, I think whatever you do she's going to ignore you and put it down to jealousy or something. I would find a reason to have another chat about your dd's progress with the actual teacher, and then just throw something innocent in like "oh, is she usually as flirty with the girls' dads?".

Rowboat · 05/12/2013 14:04

I too would just give a sort of pitying smirk and leave it. But if it were to ever happen again something would have to be said, casually to both dance teacher and her.

ViviPru · 05/12/2013 14:17

I like Jux's suggestion. I think I'd struggle to just brush this off if I'm going to be encountering her every week.

I also think it would be interesting to get the cousin's take... why don't you text her now and keep us all posted?

villagegossip · 05/12/2013 14:32

daisy I'm the same. Had to check the posting date as thought this was old thread updated Confused it sounds really familiar.

OP don't be surprised if desperado tries to initiate a fb friendship with casanova DH now, she sounds a bit of a sort!

LouiseAderyn · 05/12/2013 16:10

I think it's actually really disrespectful to flirt with a man in front of his wife and I would expect my dh to deal with it by making it very clear he is not interested.

I would also go on his fb and block her before she sends a friend request

TwoShakesOfaWhiskersTail · 05/12/2013 16:22

daisy there was a similar thread a while ago, I double checked the posting date of this one as I thought it was an old thread.

CosyTeaBags · 05/12/2013 16:32

I think you should do nothing, but go along smug in the knowledge that your handsome DH is married to you - and if she chooses to carry on being cold with you just smirk. and make a few comments within her earshot of how your lovely DH is treating you this christmas just to rub her nose in it

Honestly, if your DH is innocent, you can just have a giggle about it safe in the knowledge that is is yours. She'll soon get over it.

BMW6 · 05/12/2013 18:27

I agree with ^^. She is just embarrassing herself and is a sad silly mare.

Bogeyface · 05/12/2013 18:40

My first thought was that if she ever catches your eye just smirk to pretend to stifle a giggle. And nothing else.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 05/12/2013 18:59

Poor thing must have been on tenterhooks for months waiting for sallyanna's DH to turn up.

Can't quite see how he'd have a word with the dance instructor, what would he say,
"Your niece thinks I'm wonderful and it's embarrassing for my DW?"

Rise above it and ignore her. I'd collect DD on my own in future. Don't mention it to cousin, if it got back to despo she'd be thrilled to little pieces.

CosyTeaBags · 05/12/2013 19:06

Don't mention it to cousin, if it got back to despo she'd be thrilled to little pieces. Good point (love 'Despo' BTW)

Don't let her think she has caused a problem in your marriage. As Bogeyface said, just give her a smug, knowing smile that says "Guess what bitch, I get to sleep with him every night"

Then pity her.

Mia4 · 05/12/2013 21:48

Don't do anything yet OP, she's probably hoping for a reaction tbh- people like that normally do thrive on attention, whatever kind.

I'd wait, act civilly to her and nothing is off, ignore bad behaviour like glares etc-that will wind her up because she's probably awaiting some kind of reaction, from you especially.

If she does flirt with DH, he needs to be firm with her-that's all on him- same as if she contacts him over fb now she's met him. One of my friend's (ex-friends) was always after married or committed men, she would use fb a lot- especially if she had a 'reason' to, bumping into them etc.

If his cousin brings up this friend saying this woman met DH and mentioned it to her then it's an in for your DH to say how much he didn't appreciate it.

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