Apologies for length. And possibly inappropriate forum. But there are a lot of sensible people on here who might have some good ideas.
So, my brother is a drug addict. He is 31. He graduated 10 years ago, went off traveling and acquired a drug habit. Not an expensive one, rather getting high off things that have that as a side effect. Occasional use of more conventional drugs as well. He returned home and has worked sporadically in factories, shops, just general temp work to keep him ticking over. He lives with our mother. Our father died last year. We don't have an easy relationship with our mother, as we were subjected to emotional and physical abuse when younger. To a certain extent we've worked through this, but it is still an issue.
My brother has extensive inheritance, sitting in the bank. This has removed his desire to undertake unskilled work. He managed to stop taking drugs last year and I've been really proud of him for this, but he hasn't replaced his habit with anything else.
I encouraged him to use his inheritance to buy a flat, hoping that would encourage him to get some more stable work. This has massively backfired. He has been unable to get a job anywhere. He hasn't been able to get anyone to give him a chance, despite interviews at Poundland and other similar places. His self esteem has taken a massive hit and he has gone back to drugs and went off radar for a couple of weeks. Prior to this he was just completely disengaged; wouldn't go out much, exercise, just lots of sitting in his bedroom on the internet.
He is now sleeping on a friends floor. He has lost benefits from going off radar. He can't go to my mothers as it is not a good environment for him - he sees his drug problems as stemming from the abuse. Also, she doesn't know about his problems. His flat purchase has stalled and I'm not confident that he is capable of managing his own life well enough to pay the bills, and to live independently. He feels terrible for his relapse but won't talk to me saying he needs to get it out of his system.
I can't help but think if he could just find a job everything would pick up. But no one will give him a chance. I know he needs to take charge of his own life but so desperately want to help.
Am I being unreasonable in making this so much my problem to the point I can't sleep for worry? Are my constant attempts to help just making things worse?