Aibu to be cross with and ask for a meeting with DS's pre-school

[AngelNanny]

DS is

Quietlysuggests I thought my DS was teething and that's why the temperature hadn't reappeared after 20hrs, I also had thought dr a couple of days he had been teething (back teeth). But the jaw and ear affect each other so that was my mistake.

I have overreacted in the past with thinking DS was unwell as I am very worried and conscious of his health problems so I put this one down to teething as he had had red cheeks on and off for a couple of days but no real problems.

The pre-school is very small, just one room with 4 members of staff.

Bundaberg, thank you

Crohnicallysick I agree with you, thank you for the helpful advice. The comments here and some perspective really helps and I feel calmer.

Have a look at other nurseries and preschools in your area and see if there's one you like better that have got a good act together for children who need a more careful eye. It's a competitive industry, they all have different areas of specialism and different ethos and some are amazing at their pastoral care, you might find one that's a better fit. If not, you've lost nothing by looking. Hope he's feeling better soon.

it's tricky. Being 'not quite himself' is not normally a reason to call parents, could be for any number of reasons. The temp could have come on right at the end of the session so again no need to call as you would be on your way to get him anyway. Need to discuss his needs with them in more detail I think.

YANBU not from my point of view anyway. I have a 2 year old with a dodgy immune system which is often suppressed (but not always like your DS) and he starts nursery early next year. Thats the plan anyway.

Ive chosen that pre-school because apparently they are experienced in the needs which my son has.

Posts like yours is what I worry about, or on those lines anyway.

I dont think you are BU. Pre-schools, like schools, should know and be able to cope with different childrens needs.

Thank you rumbleinthrjungle. I will have a look around.

I liked this pre-school because it is newly opened and very small so a lot cosier and less children. They also seemed very approachable and understanding of my son's health problems.

I suppose it all boils down to the meeting Thursday. I will calmly expressed that I feel a review of My son's health plan is needed and explain things better with fact sheets, then see how respondent the manager is and if we can come up with a better plan.

OHforDucks - I hope I haven't worried you. I think maybe the pre-school wasn't keeping a close eye enough maybe even just this one time. DP did mention they were unusually busy that day. I'm saw after a chat all will be resolved.

I hope your LO is currently ok, I know how you feel and it is tough.

I agree the temperature may have came on at the end so no need to call me but my concerns are that it wasn't noticed at all and when I informed the manager about the infection and temp yesterday evening she was very surprised. Part of me feels guilty for not being there for my DS when he clearly needed me and I suppose I felt cross because I specifically mentioned it and said call me please even for the smallest thing (I thought he would be ok to be honest) but it hadn't happened

He isnt ok at the moment no, which is why Im worrying generally but no your post hasnt caused that. Im deliberately waiting until the spring before he starts because he is always a lot worse in winter, in and out of hospital.

I hope your son gets better soon, FWIW the guilt of a child being ill pre-school or school doesnt wane whether its a child in good health or 'at risk' so to speak. So we are always going to get that guillt.

I hope you have better luck with the pre school in the future.

Thank you OHforDUCKS.

I really hope your LO feels better soon and I hope your pre-school experience is a happy one.

Good luck

Its a hard one, yes they should be aware of the little signs but at the same time I do think you were wrong sending him in in the first place knowing he was under the weather given you know he has extra health problems anyway.

DS has brittle asthma and his pre-school are fantastic but I still keep him home if I know there is signs of a problem primarily because it means I can hopefully catch things before it develops and secondly because I can't expect the staff to always pick up on small signs like I can when they are busy running around after others.

Lessons learned on keeping communication with pre-school positive and flowing. You could let them know about specific signs to look out for, you could keep him home if it's edgy.

Additionally, it was only 3 hrs ... And as others have mentioned, other parents may feel (or not be able to pick DC up at moment's notice) that 3 hrs tolerable for whatever it was.

You felt 3 hrs ok if teething issue. Only when - after the fact & more information - did you find out it was more than teething. Your pre-school carers aren't doctors nor are they omniscient. Neither are you (please give yourself a break, as well. This will be long haul.).

Suggest you have more detailed plan in place with current and future schools/care givers so that DS is looked after, you have peace of mind, and second-guessing after the fact doesn't become routine.