To feel abit annoyed at my dad.

[Mummytotwox]

I love my dad to bits. Me and dh and dc take him shopping every other Saturday. He's hada stroke and in a wheelchair but still my dad. He's very independent.

Anyway ever since my mum has passed, I get nothing off my dad for birthdays. Even for my 21st I didn't get a card, I don't even get a phonecall.

My sister is much older then me and doesn't have young children, she goes round dads every week (we do too!) and does his garden, tablets ect.

Last weekend when out shopping dad brought her two boxes of chocolates, a card, and is putting money in her card.

He's brought her something for every birthday. Last year it was some clothes.

I know ibu but it hurts :(

It might sound a stupid question, but he does know when your birthday is? Do you ever mention it, you know "Oh, DH is getting me .... for my birthday", does she mention hers?
I can't imagine how much it must hurt
Have some

Are you reminding him it's your sister's birthday, so then he gets a present for her?

My mum does all the present shopping for grandma. So unless someone reminds her when my mum's birthday is, she doesn't think to get anything for her.

I'm wondering the same as Justforlaughs, does he actually remember when your birthday is? I know my Dad only remembers my birthday because his wife reminds him. If she didn't I know he wouldn't remember.

I can understand why you feel hurt OP, especially when he remembers your sister's birthday.

I remember the first birthday I had after my mum left (alcoholism) and my sister and dad both forgot my 25th birthday. I had spent the last 6 months prior sorting out both their lives, as I was the only one who was working and had been living independently. I had reminded my dad about my sister's birthday but she had not reminded him about mine (because she too forgot).

I felt like a doormat, worthless and unimportant, that they were so wrapped up in the drama we were all living and didn't realise it was affecting me to. I cried and cried because I spent all my weekends travelling 200+ miles to look after them and no one was looking out for me. I had just moved back to the UK to look out for them and I barely new anyone so I got nothing from anyone.

Even if they had just sent me a text message or telephoned me that would have been fine. The next morning i telephoned my dad and had a go at him for forgetting. He wasn't apologetic and perhaps I was unreasonable, but he's never forgotten since.

Yeah he has all the birthdays wrote down, and I tell him.

If he hasn't bothered since your mum died it's not even as if he somehow thinks you forfeit a card or present because he has GDCs to spend on. Very hurtful.

Is your sister single? Maybe he thinks that you get a present from your OH and she gets nothing. What happens about Christmas?