to be annoyed with teacher?

[froubylou]

DD is 9 in year 5.

Her class has been lucky enough to have been loaned musical instruments and they have lessons on a Monday afternoon. Her instrument is a baritone. Which for those who didn't know like me is a good sized brass instrument. The case is also quite heavy. The whole thing is probably 4ft tall and weighs about 15lbs.

We signed consent forms at the start of term saying we are happy to take responsibility for the instruments and that the dc would bring them home on Monday and return them on Thursday. Which we have done until now.

However I am almost 38 weeks pg. We live about half a mile from school and just walking there and back is a struggle.

I have told DD to tell her teacher that she is to leave it at school until after Christmas. Not only do we struggle carrying it backwards and forwards between us but if I go into labour (am booked in for an elcs) and someone else has to collect her I don't want them having to cart the bloody thing around. Or make sure they return it etc.

Teacher told DD she had to bring it home, that she didn't want any excuses and that it was tough I was pg but everyone has to practice. DD was upset last night when she came up drive. She had 'accidently' left it in the classroom as she knew I had a mw appt straight after school too.

I rang the school office straight away to let them know that the instrument waa still in class but am pissed off with teachers attitude to be honest. DD is a very sensible, well behaved, diligent child and wouldn't not do something requested by a teacher normally but she knows I am struggling a bit now.

Am tempted to write a note to teacher in the morning withdrawing permission for the instrument to come home. But am also pissed off with teachers attitude. She is very young and doesn't have dc so I don't think she appreciates the physical aspects of late pgy.

Re. allocation of instruments, I know that in some schools, children get a choice of instruments (while stocks last - type of thing)

I am not sure what you mean when you say Ermm, I didn't expect the school to store it when you've already said I have told DD to tell her teacher that she is to leave it at school until after Christmas, what do you think they are going to do with it, if NOT store it?

I also think you should have spoken to the teacher yourself, out of courtesy and to make sure that she understood the issues you were facing, rather than asking a child to pass on a message.

Yes, you are probably struggling to carry the instrument, but have you considered that the school is probably not insured to hold these valuable instruments overnight, that wasn't the arrangement/ agreement made with the company. When our school did a similar thing, we had to agree to cover any damage to the instruments when they were in our care.

In my opinion YABU

Sometimes children do better on one instrument than another, sometimes they really want to play one and not another. Allocation can not always be based on who has a car. The child at my school who plays baritone was actually offered a cornet. She tried the cornet, did not get on with it at all. Tried a baritone and is now flying.....

A lot of musicians with large, heavy instruments use a porter's trolley with bungee cords.

Why not at least agree to have it at home over the Christmas holidays? There really is no point in any child learning an instrument unless they practise regularly.

Musicaltheatremum in the October holidays they were not allowed to bring them home. If they are allowed then I could ask my sister to collect my DD and DM from school for that day and bring them home and then return DD and instrument on the first day back. However I doubt that they will be able to bring them home. I think the external company uses them for another group which is why it is so important that the instrument is returned on the right day.

Justforlaughs, I apologise if I gave the wrong impression in my OP. I had been awake since 3am (wee/gavsicon/drink/wee/pgy induced insomnia!). What I meant is that rather than it come home I would prefer it to stay with the company who brings it each week rather than in school. And to be honest if school don't have room or insurance to store these things I don't think they should be asking parents to either. We don't live in an affluent area and to be fair with all the baby things I have around the house at the moment in a 2 bedroom terrace space is tight for us too.

Penny I don't thing it would fit in a shopping trolley. Tis a huge case! And I don't think it would help my back dragging it behind me either. Or be practical pushing a pram post c section and dragging it around.

I accept that maybe I was expecting a little too much from teacher to accept a message from a 9yo, no matter how sensible the 9yo is. But I don't think I am BU to refuse for a few weeks to have the instrument home. It was the teachers response that had me scratching my head a bit to be honest. Were I in her position and been passed the same message (and I would stake my life on the fact that DD was polite, she doesn't know how to be anything but where adults are concerned especially a teacher) by the same sort of child I would have just accepted it rather than make it an issue for the child.

It was my fault for not writing a note in the first place which I have now done, not DD's. And I think that the teacher could have either come out and found me to discuss it if it was an issue or given me a call or asked DD to ask me to come in this morning, collect the bloody instrument for this week and withdrawn permission for it to come home for next week.

To be honest whilst carrying it home post c section will be more of an issue than carrying it home now I am more concerned that if I go into labour before the 13th, and the instrument is at home it means I have to arrange for someone to come and collect it and get it back. DD has a bag all packed at my mums for 2 days worth of clothes so we don't have to worry about things like that. As I mentioned before mum doesn't drive and lives a good mile from school and a mile and a half from me. Yes she could get a taxi to my home, then a taxi to school with it but it just seems such a faff when I have better things to faff about with. Like a newborn. And establishing bfing in hospital so I get let out. And recovering from a C section. Etc etc.

YABU. The teacher would have been much more understanding if you'd gone in and spoken to her in person. Pregnancy is not a reason for the world to stop turning - if you agreed that your DD would bring this instrument home from school regularly, you need to stick to that. Being pregnant is not a reason for your DD to stop doing music practise.

I'm a teacher and a mum and yadnbu. Being 38 weeks pregnant I would've struggled to do the walk at all. Let alone with a baritone.

YANBU, just write a note explaining the situation and then leave the damn thing at school. What the hell is the matter with some people?!?

and congratulations, not long to go now

Oh god, I sympathise massively, I played the tenor then the baritone saxophone for years - my choice, and I was a teenager, but it was a total nightmare getting it around / on the crowded school bus etc etc (and yes, I did have a trolley for it!).

Another approach - might it be possible for you to call and explain the situation and ask whether your dd could swap instruments with someone who is collected by car and has been given something smaller? It sounds like they've been allocated pretty randomly rather than your dd having developed a grand passion for the instrument?

Having said that, big low pitched instruments are gorgeous to play, my bari sax made the most amazing dark-brown-treacle sound and I was very sad when I had to give it back to the education authority and revert to the tenor (wasn't good enough to justify the ££££s to buy my own!) :)

You're pregnant - I really don't think you should even attempt to carry that instrument. I had my twins 6 weeks prematurely due to carrying a large bag of cat litter.

I also had another baby who was born at 25 weeks due to me helping to move a desk at work. It turned out that I have an incompetent cervix but I didn't find that out until it was too late unfortunately.

Health and safety guidance is for pregnant women to avoid carrying heavy objects - there's a reason for that! Sorry if it sounds like I'm scaremongering but I seriously wish I'd taken more notice of this advice myself.

Why can't your DD carry it home.She must be very weak if she can't carry something 15 lbs.My 8 yr old DD can lift me up and I am 11 stone!!
surely between you you can carry something that weighs less than a stone!

It's the bulk of the case intit, as well as the weight. But a 9 year old should manage a two wheeled trolley, all things being equal.

How about this? Just looked at DS's new cricket kitbag on wheels and I'm pretty certain it could fit a bulky instrument in it without a problem.
Something like this May well do the trick:
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Racket-Wheelie-Kit-Holdall-Bag-Sports-Holiday-Wheel-Trolley-Brand-New-/360796923165
It's the cheapest one I could find after a quick look, some of them are pricey.
It's times like this I feel massively grateful for DD's clarinet...

Isn't there anyone who drives that you could ask to bring it home?

Dd2's year had whole class learning last year and on the day they had the instruments, I would drive in (dd usually walked with friends) and have a boot full of instruments and wait at the gate and distribute them.
The biggest instruments had wheels on the case too.

We have a trumpet to bring home - it's not that heavy in itself but the case weights a tonne - dd is not able to carry it herself. We don't have use of a car so I lug it about.

But there is an arrangement at school that they can leave them in a cupboard. For some dc who go to childminders it's not possible for them to cart it there and back themselves.

I'm amazed they can't organise something like this. I'd put it in writing to the school.