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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

who was being more unreasonable?

20 replies

happy38 · 02/12/2013 15:12

Went to a concert at the weekend with dh. Support were as good as main act so dh got annoyed when some late comers arrived and didn't sit down immediately. He swore whilst asking her to sit down. Now I think dh was being unreasonable to do this but what followed ruined the evening.
She immediately stood up and started dancing wildly blocking dh's view after telling him that she could make his life a misery. She than encouraged her partner to do the same during the whole of the main act forcing me to stand also. Noe I am not a killjoy and I have no proble with people standing up to have a boogie but her partner wasn't even dancing.
So who was worse. O and she also split a drink all over the poor lady sat next to her.

OP posts:
Rosencrantz · 02/12/2013 15:13

I think you were unreasonable to expect to sit down at a concert!

Seriously, noone acted well did they?

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/12/2013 15:17

If it was Beethoven SWBU, if it was Cypress Hill HWBU.

Justforlaughs · 02/12/2013 15:17

I have real hatred for people who do this at concerts. I had one where DH had paid for me and DSis to have seats in second row of balcony (Abba tribute band Blush). Elderly couple sitting in front of us. Young girl came along and "persuaded" elderly couple to swap seats with her as one of the singers was apparently her cousin and she couldn't see from where she sitting Hmm. She then proceeded to stand up blocking my view completely and refusing to move along the row to the end where other people were standing. She then found that she couldn't sit down when she wanted to as my feet were lodged on her seat Blush - I was hormonal at the time - and seriously pissed off tbh.

Gripewater · 02/12/2013 15:18

Sounds like a barrel of laughs.
Was it an audition for Shameless?

You were both unreasonable why did he swear at her?

Beeyump · 02/12/2013 15:20

Both unreasonable, and somehow depressing. Why did your dh swear?

RutaSkadi · 02/12/2013 15:23

The swearing would have annoyed me, but she sounds horrendous.

I used to go and see bands all the time, now my tolerance for other people is very low. There's too much dilemma between letting yourself go at a live band, or letting others who've also paid enjoy it in peace (me).

Gripewater · 02/12/2013 15:28

I agree she sounds dreadful but then if someone had sworn at me I'm not sure I'd really care about social etiquette seeing as they didn't think anything of swearing at me. Depends on the context of the swearing. If he said "bloody hell sit down it's started!" Or "sit down fuck face"

attheendoftheday · 02/12/2013 16:40

She was a bit U, but your dh was far more U for swearing at her.

Original poster
happy38 · 02/12/2013 17:16

Think it was along the line of for fucks sake sit down. He was already peeved because lots of people in the row in front got muddled re seats so we had been disturbed previously. I would hzve liked to sit during slow bits as I had been on my feet at work.

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TheGreatWizardQuiQuaeQuod · 02/12/2013 17:21

I think your husband was unreasonable and very rude and she responded by being very petty and unreasonable.

In her desire to 'win', she didn't give a shit that it wasn't just your husband she was pissing off, but people behind and around him who couldn't see and who hadn't sworn at her.

WooWooOwl · 02/12/2013 17:27

Your DH started the unreasonableness, so he doesn't really have a leg to stand on here, and continued to be the most unreasonable if he was expecting people to sit down at a concert. Especially if he expected people to sit down for his comfort after he had just been rude and sworn at them.

Whether the support act was as good as the main act is entirely subjective. It is not up to your DH to decide that other people should think the support act is as good as the main act just because that's his opinion.

DoJo · 02/12/2013 17:35

Your husband was rude for swearing at her, so her actions were probably in context of him 'starting it' as it were. I think they were both unreasonable, but he lost any moral high ground when he swore at her, so there wasn't really anywhere for him to go once she started behaving unreasonably as well.

Original poster
happy38 · 02/12/2013 17:54

I accept he shouldn't have sworn and I don't mind eople standing but I always thought the etiquette was to sit down during slow numbers. If you want to dance fine. Also if they were such fans of the support act why turn up 20 minutes after the start. O and leave before end of the concert.

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WooWooOwl · 02/12/2013 18:14

Did they tell you they were big fans of the support act, or did you assume that just because the woman wanted to dance while she was there listening to them?

Maybe they wanted to get home for a babysitter, or maybe they wanted to avoid the crowds when leaving. What difference does it make whether they left before the end? Loads of people do that at concerts or sports events. It doesn't mean they shouldn't have bothered going at all.

It may well be the etiquette to sit during slow numbers, although I doubt it. In my experience people sway a bit or wave their arms during slow numbers. Either way, it's also the etiquette not to swear at people, so clearly etiquette doesn't really matter that much to you and your DH.

Rhubarbgarden · 02/12/2013 18:28

Well I would probably have joined your dh in a chorus of 'ffs sit down' because that sort of thing irritates me too. But that's why I rarely go to live music performances these days.

Thants · 02/12/2013 21:08

They were being unreasonable. I hate people standing in the seated area of gigs. If you want to stand then but standing tickets! I want to sit so I buy seated tickets. I think it's so selfish to just stand up in front of people. There is no reason to stand!

mummytowillow · 02/12/2013 21:17

I went to see Eric Clapton at the Albert Hall, tickets were a fortune.

Some pissed up woman sat in front of me was a pain in the arse all the way through.

Screaming at him etc, who screams at Eric FFS!

I seriously had to bite my tongue, but he was amazing Grin

MidniteScribbler · 02/12/2013 21:17

I always buy seated tickets in the front row of the first raised section every time so I can sit down.

But I'm a bit of a bitch, so if your husband had sworn at me, then I'd be pretty determined to stand all night. I may possibly also sing loudly and off key. He could have politely requested her to sit down and then you probably wouldn't have had a problem.

Original poster
happy38 · 02/12/2013 21:29

I have already said many times that he was wrong to swear. I was responding to woowoo re things being subjective. I would expect a fan of the support act to dance and fling arms around etc. However, I would not expect them to turn up when it is 2/3 over. Hence why it was clear she was only doing it out of spite. Yes dh deserved it but the lady next to her did not desrve to have red wine spilt on her.

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Original poster
happy38 · 02/12/2013 21:30

O andd yes there was a standing area.

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