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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mother and sister in laws. . .

29 replies

nannybun · 02/12/2013 14:03

Maybe I'm being U, but, why are mils and sils so
Bloody mean?! I mean why? Tell me! Why do they treat you like some harlot trying to steal their sons virtue, when in reality, it was gone a long time ago (nb- dp is 32!!) go on give me your worst!

OP posts:
thebody · 02/12/2013 14:05

massive generalisation.

my mil was lovely and greatly missed by us all.

my 3 sils are wonderful friends and are always there for me and my kids.

Chattymummyhere · 02/12/2013 14:05

Because they see him as theirs and do not want you to take away something which belongs to them. I'm sure I've read on here before a widow started using her son as a replacement husband, he had to go for dinner every night run everything past her etc

CMK86 · 02/12/2013 14:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeppiNephrine · 02/12/2013 14:06

Yours might treat you like that, mine don't. Why don't you focus on your own issues and stop pretending we are all the same?

verytellytubby · 02/12/2013 14:08

My MIL is great and my SIL is one of best friends.

FatOwl · 02/12/2013 14:10

I get on OK with SIL, but we are very different people- not much in common.
MIL I also have nothing in common with, and she thinks her ds (my dh) married beneath her and is not really interested in our dc (only SILs), and will talk for hours about dead relatives and people at Church.

But after 23 years, we now rub along.
Nothing like the truly toxic MILs I read about on here.

Nanny0gg · 02/12/2013 14:22

Um. I hate to point it out OP, but you're a SiL too...

thebody · 02/12/2013 14:36

seriously if some girls want to take on my lads please feel free. Grin

seeing my sils on sat for a good catch up and can't wait!

some people are nice and some are nasty! bugger all to do with mil/dil/sil.

Xochiquetzal · 02/12/2013 14:42

nannybum, I have a MIL and SIL like that too, my DH is 31 and I'm 25, we've been together since I was 18, yet I'm the one corrupting him! I generally think some women just live on a different planet to the rest of us! Its not all in-laws though, my brothers wife and I get on really well.

Bellini81 · 02/12/2013 14:45

I have an amazing mil & supportive lovely sil.... Hope they feel the same way about me.

BackforGood · 02/12/2013 14:51

If you want help sorting out your own relationship issues, then post away - but surely even the least intelligent person can see that is SUCH a ridiculous generalisation ?

Justforlaughs · 02/12/2013 14:55

My DB2's wife is probably my best friend, I get on very well with DB1's wife even though we don't see a lot of them, but DH's sister is a different kettle of fish - as is his DM. Not even going to get started Grin, well, if you insist! Wink. I used to worry a lot about the fact that I was always "rude" to them, when I couldn't think of anything I had said/ done to warrant the accusation. Eventually, other people started asking me why THEY were so rude to me, whether I even knew these rude people etc, now I let it go over my head. I KNOW that it's their problem not mine, and that makes it much easier to ignore

ohfourfoxache · 02/12/2013 14:56

I know it probably feels like it, but they're not all like that. My DSis has been blessed with a WONDERFUL MIL (in fact DSis, DBIL, DParents, DH and I had a lovely evening with her MIL and FIL last night!)

My ILs? Not so much. Self centred, scheming, selfish arsewipes

I am hugely jealous of my DSis and plan to inlaw-nap her MIL and FIL at the earliest opportunity

Morgause · 02/12/2013 14:59

My MiL was lovely. I wish she'd lived long enough to see her DCs all grown up.

My DiLs are lovely and we get on really well.

LauraTrashley · 02/12/2013 15:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

winklewoman · 02/12/2013 15:03

OP, the plural of sister-in-law is sisters-in-law. Just thought I'd mention it.

MoominMammasHandbag · 02/12/2013 15:05

I have a truly lovely friend who has a gorgeous 18 year old son. Even at this age no girl is good enough for him. He was telling my daughter how happy he was with his girlfriend. My friend insisted to me that he had no girlfriend, was possibly using some slut for sex, and absolutely knew better than to ever bring her home.Hmm
Interestingly my friend's older brother is similarly put on a pedestal by their mother. My friend genuinely can't see she is just the same.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/12/2013 15:08

My sister in law is wonderful. She is a great support and I hope I am to her.

AbbyRue · 02/12/2013 15:08

Not denying that there are some horrible in laws but sometimes I think we go into relationships already on the defensive, somewhat expecting an attack from the in laws. Maybe the "hate" is a social construct that has been accepted as normal...

LittlePeaPod · 02/12/2013 15:11

Mmmm, my MIL my be a pain sometimes but she is actually a lovely woman. SIL also great. Don't have your problem Op.

Why are they making your life difficult?

thebody · 02/12/2013 15:12

give and take my dears give and take with a huge dose of humour.

chipshop · 02/12/2013 15:19

My MIL is lovely. One SIL is also lovely. Other SIL is seriously hard work. But all of them seem to love the fact DP is in a relationship with me. They're not all bad!

ohfourfoxache · 02/12/2013 15:22

Abby - completely agree that this can be the case, expecting things to be bad, but not always.

My DMum had a dreadful relationship with her MIL, and I went into a relationship with now DH praying for the complete opposite. So I was as nice as I possibly could be - my MIL doesn't drive and DH lived two hours away when we started going out. I'd regularly pop in for a cuppa, pick up shopping for her, call during the week when DH was at work, cook for her at weekends - all sorts.

Didn't work. It took many years but I gave up and accepted that we would never have the type of relationship I had always aspired to have with ILs. It wasn't that I was expecting the relationship to be bad, I think I just hoped that it would be really good and I wanted to do everything in my power to MAKE it good Confused

Screamqueen · 02/12/2013 15:31

OP you do realise your Mum is also a MIL? Why is this always negative and horrible about the Mums of sons when it should be just some people. Mums and MILs aren't one collective species you know, they are individuals, your opening line is the usual stereotypical view.

Original poster
nannybun · 02/12/2013 15:53

My word, such serious folk about! I'm well aware I'm a sil, but I'm a nice one. In fairness, my dp is terrified of my own dm, but she's always nice to him. Probably should have said this was meant to be lighthearted! Lets face it all families are bloody nightmares. Please let's all chill out! ??

OP posts:
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